It's Getting Better

Hey Reader, my laptop is currently in St. Paul!  I should have it back on Monday which is super epic in itself.

So let me tell you about this morning.  This morning was gross, dreary, and a little cold.  I wore a jacket to breakfast.  We've had a long string of rainy, cold, gloomy days so I wasn't expecting anything different, but by the time it was my first class, the sun came out and it wasn't so bad--even a little bit warm.  I didn't wear my jacket the rest of the day, and I even made it a point to be outside.  Heck, I looked around and campus is looking GREEN again.  So the bad morning turned into a good day.

Change happens.  Shifts happen.  Unfortunately things shift in both directions, but have faith that they will shift back.  Take time to notice the good changes going on around you.  I am floored by how difficult and how easy life can feel at times.  I can honestly say this has been the most challenging, most stressful year I've ever had.  I can list off 8 or more major events right off the top of my head that have happened this year, less than half of which are positive, but right now, things have smoothed out a little. I finally feel like I'm having more good days than bad days, and I cannot say for certain that they'll last, but I am enjoying them while they're here.  I'm slowly working on changing my patterns and behaviors and even my inner monologue has shifted to a more positive focus.

Life isn't all about you, do you realize this? We are all connected in various networks, webs, and social circles and whenever something changes, everyone's affected in some way. Whenever I ask someone else for help I always feel guilty because I try not to be that person, I always try to be independent because somewhere along the way, I got it into my head that I'm supposed to support people and not the other way around. Still, I am beginning to realize that you cannot help someone else until you find yourself in a good place.  You need stable ground beneath your own feet before you can support someone else and I think I'm getting there. I know I'm getting there.

Life shifts, for better and for worse.  Sometimes it will come naturally, and sometimes you have to bring it about yourself, but it will shift.  My friend, Melissa, gave me a sticker for the Human Rights Campaign earlier in the year which I put it on my laptop, but removed shortly before I sent my computer in for repairs. On a whim, I decided to buy some more from the HRC website in case I couldn't save the one I had.  They came in the mail today, and as I was walking back to my dorm, I was thinking about the campaign and the marriage equality and GSM (Gender and Sexual Minority, a new term I picked up at MBLGTACC) movements.  I realized that even though things can feel difficult and rough on a personal level, progress is still being made.  We have made so much progress in such a short time and it will continue to get better.  My private, religious college even filmed their "It Gets Better" video this week and we're getting some final shots in on Wednesday.  Life is shifting, and life will shift.  It's getting better in a lot of ways and for a lot of different reasons--take the time to look around and notice.  If you feel like it isn't, then do something about it. 

Be well,

-Megan

Sunny Days

Hello there Reader?  How's your day.

"Sunny Days" makes me think of Sesame Street which I've always disliked.  I have no idea why I disliked it so much, but yeah.  That's my train of thought at the moment.

Okay, let me preface this by saying I accidentally stumbled into playing the two songs Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye and Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepson at the same time.  Crazy awesome songs to play on top of each other with their opposite moods and meanings.  So that was my little happy discovery of the morning.

The weather yesterday was amazing!  It was way too warm and sunny for a day in March, but I don't even care.  I walked back to my dorm late last night in jeans and a sweatshirt... I love sweatshirt weather where there's enough chill in the air to feel refreshing but not enough to make you shiver.  I love it.  It was epic and nearly impossible to be in a bad mood.

Still, this whole March thing is making me crave green.  I just can't wait to be able to see green again.  I've never really liked St. Patrick's Day at all, but right now I am totally wishing I was Irish. Someone once told me Megan was an Irish name... 5 points to anyone who can verify this for me. I don't really think I'm craving summer at the moment, nah, just content for spring. Plus I really miss the squirrels!  I just need a nice patch of grass, some warm weather, and maybe a nice dock and fishing rod.  OooOOOoo, I wouldn't mind a hammock in a shady spot... *happy sigh*

While yesterday was sunny and warm, today is rainy as all get out.  You should see the puddles! It's still warm, and I'm not even minding the rain as much as I usually would.  It's kind of weird, you know when your internal mood coincides with the external weather?  You know what I'm talking about right?  That's not the case today.  I feel super sunny despite the rain and today it isn't as if my mood and the weather are canceling each other out.  Nah.  It's like my mood is attributing different characteristics to the rain.  I'm actually enjoying it overall.  I wish I could say the same for my hair... it kind of doesn't like that whole moisture thing.

Let's all take one collective breath.  I have a feeling it's going to be a good week,  even if I do have that 8 page psychology paper to crank out...  Oh well.

Be well, be epic.

-Megan

Rain, Thought, and Country Music

Reader, I am sitting in my room now at 8:33 am, getting ready to head off to breakfast, and eventually, my sociology class at 10:30. I am surprised I was able to wake up so easily this morning--the excitement of the first day of class perhaps. My goodness is it nice to have routine again!

I don't like country music. I just don't. I don't know if it's the overwhelming twanginess or the fact that it's too idealistic, but it's not my thing. However, for all the flaws I attribute to country music, I gotta say I appreciate its general optimism and acceptance of emotion. You rarely hear a country song in which the singer tries to manipulate their own emotion into something else. The impression I've gotten is that emotions are generally accepted as being what they are and that's it.

Ever notice how thought wrecks everything? Overthinking keeps us awake at night, turns molehills into mountains, and freaks us out in general. Never underestimate the power of the mind. Fortunately, thinking can also bring us out of the chaos it leads us into. What a double-edged sword thought is.

So, you know what's epic? When something you don't generally like goes and does something wonderful. Like thought, tons of things are double-edged swords, but with certain things, it seems as though the sharper side is always prominent. Take rain for example, I'm not a huge fan of rain, but I absolutely LOVE it when it's beautiful, like night time in a city when everything turns into a mirror and every light source is amplified a thousand times over, and the world feels glassy... stunning. It's not just rain, but water (It's snowing right now for your information) but have you ever gone outside right after an ice storm? It's beauty mixed with pain mixed with peace. Poetic in a way.

Sure ice sucks to drive on, but we're the ones who put ourselves in positions to drive. It's not ice's fault it's slippery. My point was, sometimes things you don't like end up surprising you with wonderful little epic moments. I can practically hear the Overture of 1812 being played above the sounds of traffic.

Be well, be excellent, and be epic!

-Megan