Relaaaaax

Hello Reader!

I got back home last night around 8, riding in style with a very dear friend of mine who was driving a 2011 Malibu.  Talk about luxury!

I'm so glad to be on break, it was definitely needed even though I wasn't under a lot of stress or deadlines towards the end.  Still, simply being in such close proximity to so many people causes stress.  I feel like I can breathe a little bit now.

I was just excited to spend a night in my nice warm bed, but things got a little hairy.  I was restless all night and pretty much thrashed for a few hours before finally getting up, grabbing a container of frosting, and heading downstairs to fall asleep on the couch.  I was definitely stuck in my head and so desperate to get the night over with that I turned on Jersey Shore in an effort to numb my brain.  Jersey Shore for Pete's sake!  Hey, if I have one good thing to say about that show, it makes me feel better about myself.  I knew I would feel better in the morning, but I just had to get there.

I finally fell asleep, woke up, went shopping with my mom, and am now sitting on my bed listening to music and drinking some cranberry apple tea.  I can feel myself getting progressively more stressed simply by being home, which is unfortunate since I'm really quite glad to be here.  It's just full of different stressors to which I haven't be exposed or really needed to adapt to.

It's a bummer, but the good thing is that it will get better eventually.  I think there's this weird paradox in human thought where we think negative things will last forever and positive things are fleeting.  I remember times of feeling so good and then having the thought of "This isn't going to last." How unfortunate to think that I never remember having that thought when things hit the fan.  The truth is that things do and will get better, even because of simple little things like the sunrise, and how wonderfully comforting to know that the sun WILL rise.

So I'm going to continue trying to relax and be calm, and maybe I'll watch a movie that will make me cry (since I feel ridiculously emotional now for no reason whatsoever) and later tonight I'll probably work on penning some things.

Oh but I'm listening to a Ryan Farish playlist at the moment.  He's absolutely wonderful and you must check him out.  His music makes me feel better about humanity.  Have a great evening, and smile!

-Megan

Circle of Life

Woah Reader,

I'm so sorry for my unexpected and unintentional hiatus.  Life got away from me for a little while, but I'm back.

As mentioned almost ad nauseum on the other blog, Dorm Room 718, we had a blast at MBLGTACC 2012.  That stands for Midwest Bisexual Lesbian Gay Transgender Ally College Conference.  It was absolutely incredible... but we left for Iowa incredibly early.  The sunrise was absolutely breathtaking--it was one of those mornings where the entire sky is cloudy and so the sun reflects off of them in the most brilliant reds, pinks, and purples.  We watched it while listening to the broadway version of The Circle of Life from the Lion King which was epic in itself, but let's get to the big picture.

What's really epic is the sheer fact that I had the opportunity and means to go.  I mean, I had the ability to travel, to be comfortable, to speak and listen to people that I genuinely have come to respect and care about.  We had an epic time and learned a lot.  When we got back, I went home to be with my family which was also epic in its own little way.  Sometimes you have it set in your mind how something is going to be and so you dread an event and unnecessarily stress yourself out about it.  I knew that I was going home under less than ideal circumstances, and I think my friends ultimately had a better handle on the situation as a whole than I did.  They encouraged me to go despite my initial reservations, and it turned out better than I expected it to.  It still sucked based on the circumstances, but there's something to be said about facing something as a family.

It's difficult to admit when you're wrong, but my friends were completely right on this one.  Everything turned out okay and I would have really regretted it had I not gone home.  I'm taking a writing class at the moment and one of the things I'm learning to deal with is the fact that I cannot spot certain flaws within my writing until someone points them out to me.  It's difficult to look at your own writing and your own life objectively, and so having people around you who aren't necessarily as influenced by the emotional nature of a situation is almost crucial to making the right decision sometimes.  My friends were right and I was wrong--this time.

I am blessed to be where I am, to be doing what I'm doing, feeling what I'm feeling, learning what I'm learning, and seeing what I'm seeing.  In spite of anything unfortunate, I am leading an epic life filled with epic people who can sometimes point out my epically flawed personal logic.

Recognize how valuable the people around you are.  Whether either of you see it or not, they're giving you a perspective that's difficult to see by yourself.  Be epic and be well.  Until we meet again,

-Megan