I woke up to the sound of rain. Soon after, Alicia, one of the housemates, made a pot of amazing coffee and I sat here sipping while watching Game of Thrones.
I talk to Alicia often about when I move away. I'm studying for the GRE every day, and soon I'll kick researching graduate programs into high gear. I've probably mentioned it many times before, but I'll be looking for a program in Seattle, Portland, Denver, or San Francisco. It feels so weird to be in such an amazing place where I am--living in an amazing house, being surrounded by so many loving and supportive people, and loving what I'm studying. This place is truly home, but I know I'll be ready to move on to the next adventure--and I hope that includes a coast, seafood, and good coffee.
See, there's so much more to life than this place and this moment. If there's one big thing that I've been trying to internalize over the last few months, even with everything horrible that's happened, it's that situations change. Sometimes they get worse, and sometimes they get better. My life is now on the upswing and all the pain and sadness I've experienced is only temporary. It's gently fading and giving way to better things. The big picture is that there's more to life than romantic relationships. The big picture is that I have the skills and tools and support to go make it somewhere else. If I keep my nose to the grindstone, meaning I do well on the GRE, do my research, and line all my grad school ducks in a row, there's no reason why I won't be completely fine in Seattle. The big picture is that I'm finally starting to reap the rewards of all the hard work and dedication I've put into the last 7 years of my life.
By nature, I'm a planner. I focus on the future. That's not to say that I'm never affected by the past. Seriously, if I could change the content of my dreams right now, I would say that my life is approaching perfect. But I can still wake up and understand that a dream is a dream and that my reality is perfectly fine. Focusing on the future isn't an excuse to ignore the now. Today I am sitting and enjoying where I'm at. I'm surrounded by people I love and by people who love me. I started to brainstorm people who I'd like to celebrate my birthday with and the list is HUGE. I love that, and I'm so very grateful. I have time and resources to pursue my dreams. That's a wonderful big picture to be living in. The smaller little details are that I'm sitting here, listening to a Yellowcard playlist, sipping coffee. Today I'm going to continue decorating and organizing my room, and I'll probably do laundry. What an amazingly epic feeling--to love the little details and the big picture.
Be well. Be patient. Be loving. Be kind.
-Megan
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Embracing Sunshine
Well friends, no anxious brain tonight, but certainly a racing heart. This week's combination of too little sleep, too much caffeine, and a few celebratory margaritas have all made it quite unhappy with me. No worries, it'll settle down once I get back into a routine.
So I'm sitting here, sipping peppermint tea and listening to I'd Run Away by The Jayhawks. The truth is though, there's no place I'd rather be than right here, right now. How funny to say that, since I would have given anything to not be me not long ago. Truth is, I feel like everything is falling into place.
My life is once again packed into boxes and over the course of the next week, I will move into The Burrow, our house for the next 12 months. Not only will I be living with three of the most energetic, genuine, and overall amazing people I've ever met, but I'll be surrounded by many incredible faces this summer. Many friends, including recent grads, are living close to me and plans for many happy ventures are already in place. If The Burrow is anything like my friend Rosina's house, it's going to be 12 months of crazy awesomeness. I'm looking forward to many nights in the backyard, blasting music, watching the sunset, and sipping more celebratory margaritas. My song of the summer is Ain't It Fun by Paramore. Look it up, but listen to it with the video--changes the connotation in my opinion.
Life has switched gears, but still feels 100% chaos and 100% relaxed contentment. It's officially summer, and the sun is making more and more of an appearance, even if the wind still keeps a chill. My finals are all done and forgotten and grades are trickling in. So far so good. I don't know what to say about this summer, other than I am overwhelmingly looking forward to all of it. I have so much time, but so many things to do. Soon I will start preparing for the GRE, hardcore researching graduate programs, and getting together with all those friends I mentioned. I also perfectly intend to curl up and watch some heavy amounts of Game of Thrones, Grey's Anatomy, House M.D., and Breaking Bad. Oh, and to convince you that I'm not just going to melt my brain on Netflix, I also plan to read exorbitant amounts of John Irving novels.
I am happy and content, but also cautious. Life has a terrible impermanence to it. This last week, I watched many friends graduate, which was all a bundle of sad, happy, nostalgic emotional everything. That will be me sooner than I think, but before then, I still have some crazy things to do. With luck, I'll go to Scotland (as I mentioned in the last post) but I'll also write and perform a lot of poetry, write a lot of non-fiction essays, play with rats, make some pottery, grade some psychology assignments, and go to a giant writing conference. If I get my ducks in a row, I'll also present at a conference in Illinois and work on more research-related things. After that, I'll graduate and move somewhere far away. Life is impermanent.
For now though, it's summer. And I am fully embracing the sun and the time... even though I might have to bring an umbrella to work today...
Peace and epicness,
-Megan
So I'm sitting here, sipping peppermint tea and listening to I'd Run Away by The Jayhawks. The truth is though, there's no place I'd rather be than right here, right now. How funny to say that, since I would have given anything to not be me not long ago. Truth is, I feel like everything is falling into place.
My life is once again packed into boxes and over the course of the next week, I will move into The Burrow, our house for the next 12 months. Not only will I be living with three of the most energetic, genuine, and overall amazing people I've ever met, but I'll be surrounded by many incredible faces this summer. Many friends, including recent grads, are living close to me and plans for many happy ventures are already in place. If The Burrow is anything like my friend Rosina's house, it's going to be 12 months of crazy awesomeness. I'm looking forward to many nights in the backyard, blasting music, watching the sunset, and sipping more celebratory margaritas. My song of the summer is Ain't It Fun by Paramore. Look it up, but listen to it with the video--changes the connotation in my opinion.
Life has switched gears, but still feels 100% chaos and 100% relaxed contentment. It's officially summer, and the sun is making more and more of an appearance, even if the wind still keeps a chill. My finals are all done and forgotten and grades are trickling in. So far so good. I don't know what to say about this summer, other than I am overwhelmingly looking forward to all of it. I have so much time, but so many things to do. Soon I will start preparing for the GRE, hardcore researching graduate programs, and getting together with all those friends I mentioned. I also perfectly intend to curl up and watch some heavy amounts of Game of Thrones, Grey's Anatomy, House M.D., and Breaking Bad. Oh, and to convince you that I'm not just going to melt my brain on Netflix, I also plan to read exorbitant amounts of John Irving novels.
I am happy and content, but also cautious. Life has a terrible impermanence to it. This last week, I watched many friends graduate, which was all a bundle of sad, happy, nostalgic emotional everything. That will be me sooner than I think, but before then, I still have some crazy things to do. With luck, I'll go to Scotland (as I mentioned in the last post) but I'll also write and perform a lot of poetry, write a lot of non-fiction essays, play with rats, make some pottery, grade some psychology assignments, and go to a giant writing conference. If I get my ducks in a row, I'll also present at a conference in Illinois and work on more research-related things. After that, I'll graduate and move somewhere far away. Life is impermanent.
For now though, it's summer. And I am fully embracing the sun and the time... even though I might have to bring an umbrella to work today...
Peace and epicness,
-Megan
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