Embracing Sunshine

Well friends, no anxious brain tonight, but certainly a racing heart. This week's combination of too little sleep, too much caffeine, and a few celebratory margaritas have all made it quite unhappy with me. No worries, it'll settle down once I get back into a routine.

So I'm sitting here, sipping peppermint tea and listening to I'd Run Away by The Jayhawks. The truth is though, there's no place I'd rather be than right here, right now. How funny to say that, since I would have given anything to not be me not long ago. Truth is, I feel like everything is falling into place.

My life is once again packed into boxes and over the course of the next week, I will move into The Burrow, our house for the next 12 months. Not only will I be living with three of the most energetic, genuine, and overall amazing people I've ever met, but I'll be surrounded by many incredible faces this summer. Many friends, including recent grads, are living close to me and plans for many happy ventures are already in place. If The Burrow is anything like my friend Rosina's house, it's going to be 12 months of crazy awesomeness. I'm looking forward to many nights in the backyard, blasting music, watching the sunset, and sipping more celebratory margaritas. My song of the summer is Ain't It Fun by Paramore. Look it up, but listen to it with the video--changes the connotation in my opinion.

Life has switched gears, but still feels 100% chaos and 100% relaxed contentment. It's officially summer, and the sun is making more and more of an appearance, even if the wind still keeps a chill. My finals are all done and forgotten and grades are trickling in. So far so good. I don't know what to say about this summer, other than I am overwhelmingly looking forward to all of it. I have so much time, but so many things to do. Soon I will start preparing for the GRE, hardcore researching graduate programs, and getting together with all those friends I mentioned. I also perfectly intend to curl up and watch some heavy amounts of Game of Thrones, Grey's Anatomy, House M.D., and Breaking Bad. Oh, and to convince you that I'm not just going to melt my brain on Netflix, I also plan to read exorbitant amounts of John Irving novels.

I am happy and content, but also cautious. Life has a terrible impermanence to it. This last week, I watched many friends graduate, which was all a bundle of sad, happy, nostalgic emotional everything. That will be me sooner than I think, but before then, I still have some crazy things to do. With luck, I'll go to Scotland (as I mentioned in the last post) but I'll also write and perform a lot of poetry, write a lot of non-fiction essays, play with rats, make some pottery, grade some psychology assignments, and go to a giant writing conference. If I get my ducks in a row, I'll also present at a conference in Illinois and work on more research-related things. After that, I'll graduate and move somewhere far away. Life is impermanent.

For now though, it's summer. And I am fully embracing the sun and the time... even though I might have to bring an umbrella to work today...

Peace and epicness,

-Megan

"Do you believe that time heals all wounds?"

Dear Reader,  that title comes from one of my favorite songs by Skillet titled The Older I Get, and since it just popped into my head and this post will be mostly about time, I figured it was a good fit. So, I'm sipping a Sunkist pop while munching on cucumbers and ranch. My taste buds are happy and life is good. I can't remember the last time I had a Sunkist--I looked at the can and it says, "Celebrate 20 years of dreams"  I smiled at how fitting it seemed since I'm still adjusting to that whole "being 20" thing, and to my knowledge, have had an awful lot of dreams in that time. Still do.

Now to that whole "time" thing. I guess I've never really met anyone who was fully content with the pace at which time changes things.  Sure, hindsight is 20/20, and eventually we get to a point where we see distinct differences between who we are and who we were, but waiting to get there isn't always easy.

I used to hate the saying "Time heals all wounds." absolutely hate it.  I was much more in the camp of "Time forms a scab capable of being ripped open at any moment.  Then some pretty ugly scar tissue forms which is usually very painful in its own way."  I guess healing took place with both but "time heals all wounds"  seemed far too sugar coated and simplistic for the cynical little me.  Now that I'm older, I can understand the reasoning behind the phrase a little more.  It's just hard to wait for time to do its job, especially when no one will ever know how much time is necessary.

For the record, I still find the phrase a little too simplistic.  I think "time" has to be seen as an umbrella term in this case which encompasses a heck of a lot more than just the ticking of a clock.  Time needs a little bit of help sometimes, whether that's the right person showing up at the right time, a lucky break, an animal--anything.  Time exposes you to agents of change and agents of healing, and even though there might be a lot of pain involved in waiting for that healing, it will come.  And you'll be able to feel it when it finally does--even if it took a lot longer than you were hoping or expecting.

Be epic, be well, and enjoy the last few days of summer.

-Megan