Hey Reader, my laptop is currently in St. Paul! I should have it back on Monday which is super epic in itself.
So let me tell you about this morning. This morning was gross, dreary, and a little cold. I wore a jacket to breakfast. We've had a long string of rainy, cold, gloomy days so I wasn't expecting anything different, but by the time it was my first class, the sun came out and it wasn't so bad--even a little bit warm. I didn't wear my jacket the rest of the day, and I even made it a point to be outside. Heck, I looked around and campus is looking GREEN again. So the bad morning turned into a good day.
Change happens. Shifts happen. Unfortunately things shift in both directions, but have faith that they will shift back. Take time to notice the good changes going on around you. I am floored by how difficult and how easy life can feel at times. I can honestly say this has been the most challenging, most stressful year I've ever had. I can list off 8 or more major events right off the top of my head that have happened this year, less than half of which are positive, but right now, things have smoothed out a little. I finally feel like I'm having more good days than bad days, and I cannot say for certain that they'll last, but I am enjoying them while they're here. I'm slowly working on changing my patterns and behaviors and even my inner monologue has shifted to a more positive focus.
Life isn't all about you, do you realize this? We are all connected in various networks, webs, and social circles and whenever something changes, everyone's affected in some way. Whenever I ask someone else for help I always feel guilty because I try not to be that person, I always try to be independent because somewhere along the way, I got it into my head that I'm supposed to support people and not the other way around. Still, I am beginning to realize that you cannot help someone else until you find yourself in a good place. You need stable ground beneath your own feet before you can support someone else and I think I'm getting there. I know I'm getting there.
Life shifts, for better and for worse. Sometimes it will come naturally, and sometimes you have to bring it about yourself, but it will shift. My friend, Melissa, gave me a sticker for the Human Rights Campaign earlier in the year which I put it on my laptop, but removed shortly before I sent my computer in for repairs. On a whim, I decided to buy some more from the HRC website in case I couldn't save the one I had. They came in the mail today, and as I was walking back to my dorm, I was thinking about the campaign and the marriage equality and GSM (Gender and Sexual Minority, a new term I picked up at MBLGTACC) movements. I realized that even though things can feel difficult and rough on a personal level, progress is still being made. We have made so much progress in such a short time and it will continue to get better. My private, religious college even filmed their "It Gets Better" video this week and we're getting some final shots in on Wednesday. Life is shifting, and life will shift. It's getting better in a lot of ways and for a lot of different reasons--take the time to look around and notice. If you feel like it isn't, then do something about it.
Be well,
-Megan
Friday, March 30, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
I'll be back soon!
Sorry Reader,
I know I've been a little bit AWOL lately--computer issues. But I'll be back online soon enough.
Between guest writing on Dorm Room 718 and this blog, I focus a lot on appreciating the small things, almost to the point of overkill. I'm sure you get it--small things and simple pleasures are important. The thing is, when you're far away in college, it's pretty much all you have. You don't have a permanent home, you're disconnected from your old friends and family, you don't have a fully stocked fridge to just grab a snack from--heck if you're like me you don't even have carpet. Little things get you through the days, weeks, and months.
Sometimes those little things turn into big things. Right now I'm chilling in a lounge and listening to the same song on repeat over and over and over again. Funny how a song can affect your mood. I listen to music when I want to be sad, be happy, or right now when I just want to maintain whatever mood this is. It's just nice to have that ability to listen to a song on repeat.
I'll tell you something else I didn't expect to come out of my college experience. I didn't expect to find a church family. I didn't expect to attend any church. Heck I'm not even that religious, but I've been lucky enough to fall into the company of people who put me into awkward situations which lead to such things as having the routine of attending a worship service. There, I've met some truly lovely people who've made me feel completely and utterly welcome. It is honestly the last thing I expected to find while in college and I know it's something I'll never find at home.
It's just funny to think about how important having a routine on Sunday has been for me. So Reader? appreciate the little things, especially when you notice they're becoming big things. That's how you can tell life is shifting--especially in better directions.
Be cool, be epic, love the sunshine.
-Megan
I know I've been a little bit AWOL lately--computer issues. But I'll be back online soon enough.
Between guest writing on Dorm Room 718 and this blog, I focus a lot on appreciating the small things, almost to the point of overkill. I'm sure you get it--small things and simple pleasures are important. The thing is, when you're far away in college, it's pretty much all you have. You don't have a permanent home, you're disconnected from your old friends and family, you don't have a fully stocked fridge to just grab a snack from--heck if you're like me you don't even have carpet. Little things get you through the days, weeks, and months.
Sometimes those little things turn into big things. Right now I'm chilling in a lounge and listening to the same song on repeat over and over and over again. Funny how a song can affect your mood. I listen to music when I want to be sad, be happy, or right now when I just want to maintain whatever mood this is. It's just nice to have that ability to listen to a song on repeat.
I'll tell you something else I didn't expect to come out of my college experience. I didn't expect to find a church family. I didn't expect to attend any church. Heck I'm not even that religious, but I've been lucky enough to fall into the company of people who put me into awkward situations which lead to such things as having the routine of attending a worship service. There, I've met some truly lovely people who've made me feel completely and utterly welcome. It is honestly the last thing I expected to find while in college and I know it's something I'll never find at home.
It's just funny to think about how important having a routine on Sunday has been for me. So Reader? appreciate the little things, especially when you notice they're becoming big things. That's how you can tell life is shifting--especially in better directions.
Be cool, be epic, love the sunshine.
-Megan
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
A Few Simple Words
Hello lovely Reader. Tis Nicole again. I've been quite busy with theatre and everything else, which is why I haven't appeared here for quite some time.
My life is insane right now... simply insane. I know, I talk about my crazy busy life a lot on my blog, but honestly it is my biggest concern right now. Most days I go from 8 to 10 in the morning, a short break for lunch and homework, then class/work until 4 or 5. Dinner at 6, then practice from 7-10, then homework and such. Often, I am drained of energy. The only thing that has kept me going today is caffeine and the knowledge I have to get work done before I can rest. It's been a stressful day, considering I had a few more things in my schedule. Right about now, all I can do is think in short, simple phrases.
Although people make fun of me for it and I can't help but laugh at myself, I rather enjoy the short simple phrases that come out of my mouth. My mantra today seems to be, "I'm tired." A few simple words that can mean so much - tired of the body, mind, soul, everything. Simple words can carry so much meaning. SMITH magazine created a thing called Six Word Memoirs. I did a few my freshman year of high school and they are full of memories and emotions.
I change every day. It sucks.
I am the great copy cat.
Too young to remember what happened.
Each has a memory and a powerful emotion for me - and it's just six words.
Think about an even shorter phrase - "I love you". It has so much depth if you think about. I mean really think about it. "I" can mean my desires or my passion or my soul or my mind, or even my entire self. "You" can mean an inanimate object, like food or a computer. It can also mean the person opposite to me - their soul, mind, dedication, or entire self. And "love". How deep the meaning goes. It seems to be the core of what life is. And a simple four letter word carries so much weight.
Here's what's epic: words. My theatre director in high school always taught me that silence speaks mounts where words fail. It seemed to me that the less words - and the more powerful they were - accompanied with silence can be the most powerful moment in the whole performance. Words carry weight, and sometimes you don't need to say much...sometimes you just need to say something.
Peace!
-Nicole
My life is insane right now... simply insane. I know, I talk about my crazy busy life a lot on my blog, but honestly it is my biggest concern right now. Most days I go from 8 to 10 in the morning, a short break for lunch and homework, then class/work until 4 or 5. Dinner at 6, then practice from 7-10, then homework and such. Often, I am drained of energy. The only thing that has kept me going today is caffeine and the knowledge I have to get work done before I can rest. It's been a stressful day, considering I had a few more things in my schedule. Right about now, all I can do is think in short, simple phrases.
Although people make fun of me for it and I can't help but laugh at myself, I rather enjoy the short simple phrases that come out of my mouth. My mantra today seems to be, "I'm tired." A few simple words that can mean so much - tired of the body, mind, soul, everything. Simple words can carry so much meaning. SMITH magazine created a thing called Six Word Memoirs. I did a few my freshman year of high school and they are full of memories and emotions.
I change every day. It sucks.
I am the great copy cat.
Too young to remember what happened.
Each has a memory and a powerful emotion for me - and it's just six words.
Think about an even shorter phrase - "I love you". It has so much depth if you think about. I mean really think about it. "I" can mean my desires or my passion or my soul or my mind, or even my entire self. "You" can mean an inanimate object, like food or a computer. It can also mean the person opposite to me - their soul, mind, dedication, or entire self. And "love". How deep the meaning goes. It seems to be the core of what life is. And a simple four letter word carries so much weight.
Here's what's epic: words. My theatre director in high school always taught me that silence speaks mounts where words fail. It seemed to me that the less words - and the more powerful they were - accompanied with silence can be the most powerful moment in the whole performance. Words carry weight, and sometimes you don't need to say much...sometimes you just need to say something.
Peace!
-Nicole
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Give and Take
Hi Reader! I am so incredibly tired today, and I don't know if it's lack of sleep or if I'm just slightly burned out. But, it will get better eventually I think.
There's no doubt that college changes you as a person. It changes aspects of your personality, your philosophy on life, your habits, everything. It's one of those formative experiences that will hopefully leave you better than when you started. It's strange though, because while some things seem to get better, others seem to get worse. I guess it's a paradox, yet balance always seems to be maintained somewhere.
These are some changes I'm noticing in myself since I've started school:
1. I'm worse at sleeping through the night, but I'm better at sleeping in louder, more lit conditions.
2. My public speaking anxiety seems to be worse, but my one on one eye contact is getting better.
3. I'm worse at time management as far as writing papers go, but I'm better at cranking out said papers.
4. I'm worse at coping with things on my own, but I'm better at taking the initiative to figure out how someone else is doing.
5. I'm worse at making big decisions, but I'm better at letting my spontaneous side come through.
6. I'm getting worse at letting myself show negative emotions, but I'm getting better at crying from laughter.
7. I'm getting worse at worrying about my future, but I'm also getting better at enjoying the time I have.
8. I'm getting worse at knowing the right thing to say, but I'm getting better at saying how I feel.
9. Finally, I'm getting worse at resisting the urge to ask strangers if they want a hug, but I'm getting better at hugs!
So, there you go. College changes you and parts of you shift around a little bit. I guess I'm just hoping the net benefits of this experience outweigh the costs of it. So far they have been.
Be well, be epic, and notice the changes in yourself--especially the positive ones.
-Megan
There's no doubt that college changes you as a person. It changes aspects of your personality, your philosophy on life, your habits, everything. It's one of those formative experiences that will hopefully leave you better than when you started. It's strange though, because while some things seem to get better, others seem to get worse. I guess it's a paradox, yet balance always seems to be maintained somewhere.
These are some changes I'm noticing in myself since I've started school:
1. I'm worse at sleeping through the night, but I'm better at sleeping in louder, more lit conditions.
2. My public speaking anxiety seems to be worse, but my one on one eye contact is getting better.
3. I'm worse at time management as far as writing papers go, but I'm better at cranking out said papers.
4. I'm worse at coping with things on my own, but I'm better at taking the initiative to figure out how someone else is doing.
5. I'm worse at making big decisions, but I'm better at letting my spontaneous side come through.
6. I'm getting worse at letting myself show negative emotions, but I'm getting better at crying from laughter.
7. I'm getting worse at worrying about my future, but I'm also getting better at enjoying the time I have.
8. I'm getting worse at knowing the right thing to say, but I'm getting better at saying how I feel.
9. Finally, I'm getting worse at resisting the urge to ask strangers if they want a hug, but I'm getting better at hugs!
So, there you go. College changes you and parts of you shift around a little bit. I guess I'm just hoping the net benefits of this experience outweigh the costs of it. So far they have been.
Be well, be epic, and notice the changes in yourself--especially the positive ones.
-Megan
Monday, March 12, 2012
Sunny Days
Hello there Reader? How's your day.
"Sunny Days" makes me think of Sesame Street which I've always disliked. I have no idea why I disliked it so much, but yeah. That's my train of thought at the moment.
Okay, let me preface this by saying I accidentally stumbled into playing the two songs Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye and Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepson at the same time. Crazy awesome songs to play on top of each other with their opposite moods and meanings. So that was my little happy discovery of the morning.
The weather yesterday was amazing! It was way too warm and sunny for a day in March, but I don't even care. I walked back to my dorm late last night in jeans and a sweatshirt... I love sweatshirt weather where there's enough chill in the air to feel refreshing but not enough to make you shiver. I love it. It was epic and nearly impossible to be in a bad mood.
Still, this whole March thing is making me crave green. I just can't wait to be able to see green again. I've never really liked St. Patrick's Day at all, but right now I am totally wishing I was Irish. Someone once told me Megan was an Irish name... 5 points to anyone who can verify this for me. I don't really think I'm craving summer at the moment, nah, just content for spring. Plus I really miss the squirrels! I just need a nice patch of grass, some warm weather, and maybe a nice dock and fishing rod. OooOOOoo, I wouldn't mind a hammock in a shady spot... *happy sigh*
While yesterday was sunny and warm, today is rainy as all get out. You should see the puddles! It's still warm, and I'm not even minding the rain as much as I usually would. It's kind of weird, you know when your internal mood coincides with the external weather? You know what I'm talking about right? That's not the case today. I feel super sunny despite the rain and today it isn't as if my mood and the weather are canceling each other out. Nah. It's like my mood is attributing different characteristics to the rain. I'm actually enjoying it overall. I wish I could say the same for my hair... it kind of doesn't like that whole moisture thing.
Let's all take one collective breath. I have a feeling it's going to be a good week, even if I do have that 8 page psychology paper to crank out... Oh well.
Be well, be epic.
-Megan
"Sunny Days" makes me think of Sesame Street which I've always disliked. I have no idea why I disliked it so much, but yeah. That's my train of thought at the moment.
Okay, let me preface this by saying I accidentally stumbled into playing the two songs Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye and Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepson at the same time. Crazy awesome songs to play on top of each other with their opposite moods and meanings. So that was my little happy discovery of the morning.
The weather yesterday was amazing! It was way too warm and sunny for a day in March, but I don't even care. I walked back to my dorm late last night in jeans and a sweatshirt... I love sweatshirt weather where there's enough chill in the air to feel refreshing but not enough to make you shiver. I love it. It was epic and nearly impossible to be in a bad mood.
Still, this whole March thing is making me crave green. I just can't wait to be able to see green again. I've never really liked St. Patrick's Day at all, but right now I am totally wishing I was Irish. Someone once told me Megan was an Irish name... 5 points to anyone who can verify this for me. I don't really think I'm craving summer at the moment, nah, just content for spring. Plus I really miss the squirrels! I just need a nice patch of grass, some warm weather, and maybe a nice dock and fishing rod. OooOOOoo, I wouldn't mind a hammock in a shady spot... *happy sigh*
While yesterday was sunny and warm, today is rainy as all get out. You should see the puddles! It's still warm, and I'm not even minding the rain as much as I usually would. It's kind of weird, you know when your internal mood coincides with the external weather? You know what I'm talking about right? That's not the case today. I feel super sunny despite the rain and today it isn't as if my mood and the weather are canceling each other out. Nah. It's like my mood is attributing different characteristics to the rain. I'm actually enjoying it overall. I wish I could say the same for my hair... it kind of doesn't like that whole moisture thing.
Let's all take one collective breath. I have a feeling it's going to be a good week, even if I do have that 8 page psychology paper to crank out... Oh well.
Be well, be epic.
-Megan
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Control Freak
Hey Reader, how's it going?
Okay, I'm going to say this straight up. From the mind of a control freak... Don't be a control freak! There, I said it. Don't be a control freak.
I know so many people and am one of those people who will try to control whatever I can, however I can, and for as long as I can, but I'm learning to knock that off and just sit back and let life happen. We like to convince ourselves that we control our lives. We don't. Sometimes we convince ourselves that our lives control us. It doesn't. The relationship between you and life just isn't that simple.
It's easy and comforting to lay down hard and fast rules for life. See, I think people have this idea that somehow they know what's best for them and that anything that deviates from that will result in ultimate unhappiness. Not true! Don't judge situations, people, anything by its cover. You have no idea whether or not they could enrich your life in some way, shape, or form. That guy with the mohawk and lip ring? Yeah he could be your political and musical soulmate, plus he's great with kids. Have standards by all means! Do not lower your standards, but don't make them impossibly high either. Just allow for exceptions to your own life rules. Life is unpredictable and will never follow a set of rules, that's what makes it epic! Anything could happen! Don't set your life in stone, but rather something a little more malleable so when life proves you wrong and slams the book down, you're not going to shatter and fall apart, but bend a little bit.
Here are some examples of rules I've not regretted bending or breaking:
1. I will never let anyone coerce me into going on a roller coaster.
2. I will never wear a strapless dress.
3. I will never consider dating anyone who _________. (insert a number of adjectives or verbs)
4. I will never WANT to speak in public.
5. I will never doubt my career choice.
6. I will not stay in bed until 6:30 pm.
7. I will not let someone coerce me into dyeing my hair.
8. I will not let someone influence when I get a tattoo.
9. I will not write a 12 page paper in one day.
10. I will not act like an idiot in front of George Watsky.
11. I will NEVER take a dance class. (We're doing the Electric Slide today. Gotta cover those Elementary school dance basics!)
So there. Bend your own rules. You never know where life will take you, but at some point you have to let it take you there.
May your life be all things epic and wonderful,
-Megan
Okay, I'm going to say this straight up. From the mind of a control freak... Don't be a control freak! There, I said it. Don't be a control freak.
I know so many people and am one of those people who will try to control whatever I can, however I can, and for as long as I can, but I'm learning to knock that off and just sit back and let life happen. We like to convince ourselves that we control our lives. We don't. Sometimes we convince ourselves that our lives control us. It doesn't. The relationship between you and life just isn't that simple.
It's easy and comforting to lay down hard and fast rules for life. See, I think people have this idea that somehow they know what's best for them and that anything that deviates from that will result in ultimate unhappiness. Not true! Don't judge situations, people, anything by its cover. You have no idea whether or not they could enrich your life in some way, shape, or form. That guy with the mohawk and lip ring? Yeah he could be your political and musical soulmate, plus he's great with kids. Have standards by all means! Do not lower your standards, but don't make them impossibly high either. Just allow for exceptions to your own life rules. Life is unpredictable and will never follow a set of rules, that's what makes it epic! Anything could happen! Don't set your life in stone, but rather something a little more malleable so when life proves you wrong and slams the book down, you're not going to shatter and fall apart, but bend a little bit.
Here are some examples of rules I've not regretted bending or breaking:
1. I will never let anyone coerce me into going on a roller coaster.
2. I will never wear a strapless dress.
3. I will never consider dating anyone who _________. (insert a number of adjectives or verbs)
4. I will never WANT to speak in public.
5. I will never doubt my career choice.
6. I will not stay in bed until 6:30 pm.
7. I will not let someone coerce me into dyeing my hair.
8. I will not let someone influence when I get a tattoo.
9. I will not write a 12 page paper in one day.
10. I will not act like an idiot in front of George Watsky.
11. I will NEVER take a dance class. (We're doing the Electric Slide today. Gotta cover those Elementary school dance basics!)
So there. Bend your own rules. You never know where life will take you, but at some point you have to let it take you there.
May your life be all things epic and wonderful,
-Megan
Thursday, March 1, 2012
*sip* *breathe* *sip* *sigh*
Helloooo Reader!
There's no doubt about it. I've been living the good life since I've been home. I am currently watching Rachael Ray's talk show while sipping some of my favorite tea (Good Earth Sweet and Spicy) which I've been chugging all week. You know? I don't mind her but I much prefer Ellen. I mean honestly Rachael, who really has a truffle shaver? I've also been sleeping WAY more than usual and enjoying every single minute of it. Yep, life it good. Oh, and I just threw on my favorite sweatshirt and a Rent playlist. Seasons of Love just gets me every time now that we're approaching the end of the school year. Can you tell I'm a little bit hyper?
Ever have one of those days where you sleep in super late, feel pretty good when you get up, and want to tackle anything and everything. No literally. Like if you saw someone you'd tackle them? Yep. I'm there. I'm sitting and staring at four classes worth of homework but I'm dead set on getting at least two subjects out of the way tonight so I can take my Sunday night back on campus nice and easy. I need a movie night or something... but I probably also need to clean my dorm. Hmm...
I'm beginning to think that the ever elusive idea of contentment is not and never will be a grand state of being that overshadows everything else, but rather a series of short moments present in situations like this. The trick might be to find a ton of little moments of contentment then in order to equal up to that grand state of being. Let me stress that this isn't new. This isn't some ground-breaking idea, but I'm only human and sometimes I forget to let happiness find me instead of me out looking for it.
So what am I going to do with this little moment of contentment? Well I'm going to watch a little bit of C-Span, listen to my Rent, play some solitaire, and overall enjoy the moment. Then I'll tackle some Sociology and Psychology. And then I'll get a work out in tonight before I probably stay up way too late, working on something literary before going to bed at 2 or 3 am to do it all over again in the morning. It's not an elaborate or exciting life at the moment, but it's still good, and I'm enjoying it. Epic.
I hope your day is filled with sunshine, hugs, and smiles. Not necessarily in that order.
-Megan
There's no doubt about it. I've been living the good life since I've been home. I am currently watching Rachael Ray's talk show while sipping some of my favorite tea (Good Earth Sweet and Spicy) which I've been chugging all week. You know? I don't mind her but I much prefer Ellen. I mean honestly Rachael, who really has a truffle shaver? I've also been sleeping WAY more than usual and enjoying every single minute of it. Yep, life it good. Oh, and I just threw on my favorite sweatshirt and a Rent playlist. Seasons of Love just gets me every time now that we're approaching the end of the school year. Can you tell I'm a little bit hyper?
Ever have one of those days where you sleep in super late, feel pretty good when you get up, and want to tackle anything and everything. No literally. Like if you saw someone you'd tackle them? Yep. I'm there. I'm sitting and staring at four classes worth of homework but I'm dead set on getting at least two subjects out of the way tonight so I can take my Sunday night back on campus nice and easy. I need a movie night or something... but I probably also need to clean my dorm. Hmm...
I'm beginning to think that the ever elusive idea of contentment is not and never will be a grand state of being that overshadows everything else, but rather a series of short moments present in situations like this. The trick might be to find a ton of little moments of contentment then in order to equal up to that grand state of being. Let me stress that this isn't new. This isn't some ground-breaking idea, but I'm only human and sometimes I forget to let happiness find me instead of me out looking for it.
So what am I going to do with this little moment of contentment? Well I'm going to watch a little bit of C-Span, listen to my Rent, play some solitaire, and overall enjoy the moment. Then I'll tackle some Sociology and Psychology. And then I'll get a work out in tonight before I probably stay up way too late, working on something literary before going to bed at 2 or 3 am to do it all over again in the morning. It's not an elaborate or exciting life at the moment, but it's still good, and I'm enjoying it. Epic.
I hope your day is filled with sunshine, hugs, and smiles. Not necessarily in that order.
-Megan
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