Reader,
I'm not sure if you know this or not--you probably do--but the reason I blog is mostly because I like having a place to write and organize my thoughts. And, since I'm a writer, I'm obsessed with leaving something behind. I have this terrible and yet wonderful desire and need to spill out everything in my heart and mind and show it to people. I spent many, many years of my life hiding behind a mask out of fear that what I was thinking and feeling wouldn't be accepted. After getting over that, I have lost the inability to hide. In a way, I can't be anything but honest.
So here's me being honest. After my aunt lost her battle to cancer at age 26, a mantra I heard over and over again was "Live each day like it's your last." And that's a nice saying, but to actually internalize it is another matter entirely. So now here's senior year, and I'm facing each and every day like it's its own separate entity. I'm trying to savor each and every day, to make each and every interaction the best it can be. In essence, I've become a vampire, trying to suck all the positive experience I can out of each day.
I'm obsessed with not regretting my life. I'm stressing over what actions to take, the consequences, the results, the best possible decision that will result in the best possible outcome. I live... carefully. I'm just trying so hard to be the best I can be. I'm trying to be kind, gentle, strong, brave, trying to be someone that people respect and trust. I'm trying to be someone that if I didn't look where I was going tomorrow and was tragically hit by a bus, that I wouldn't end up wherever we all end up with any regrets. I also kinda hope a lot of people would want to attend my funeral, but maybe that's selfish.
I say all of this because it's hard. It's so hard. To live every day carefully, to be cognizant about every action, every conversation, to monitor and prevent yourself from acting on every thought--it's really fricken hard. But, maybe it gets better with practice.
It's senior year. They (Concordia) teach us that we should try to become responsibly engaged in the world. To do so requires examination, thorough awareness of our thoughts, actions, conversations. Every. Single. Day. To be honest, there's a big part of me that just wants to be like Bruce Vieweg, and I don't know if he's naturally so wonderful, or if he engages in just that much reflection and examination, but I want to be like him. This is how I'm trying to do it. To know where you stand and who you are is to be powerful. To be powerful is to have a great responsibility--and that requires doing things that are difficult and challenging, like putting so much effort into every single day.
I'm trying.
-Megan
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
The Beginning of the End
Senior year. Here it is. Am I ready? It's doesn't matter if I am or not.
I think the most best and worst thing about college is that it thrusts you into a world of constant social interaction. You eat with friends, live with friends, do homework with friends. Even the most introverted of introverts will experience a great deal of time with people. Simultaneously, the prominent and inescapable theme of junior and senior year is that you're profoundly alone. Think about it, that time is spent preparing to enter life after college, whether that be moving directly into the workforce in a given field or in my case, preparing for graduate school. It is a terrifying fact that after graduation, there is no communal dining hall, no neighborhood where all the houses have a name and a personality bestowed by their residents, no talent shows where you know all the performers. For me, there may be just a rainy city in which I know less than 10 people personally.
It's not a bad thing to prepare to be alone. The way in which the college student develops may just make them a better person. Think about it, in an environment surrounded by people of common purpose, you have to develop an individual identity that makes you stand out in some way. You decide who you're going to be and how you're going to relate to people. Of course this identity isn't static, but when you're working on it for 2-3 years, you usually create something semi-solid. You then have to take that identity and sit in it and transfer it to new environments, away from college.
Am I terrified? You bet I am. Is it okay to be thrust into a terrifying and uncomfortable situation? Yes. These days, I live off of To-Do lists. Today, as soon as I crossed one item off, I seemed to just add two more items to the list. Perhaps that's what entering adulthood is all about. No matter, I can do this.
It's Senior year. Time to do work.
Be well,
Megan
I think the most best and worst thing about college is that it thrusts you into a world of constant social interaction. You eat with friends, live with friends, do homework with friends. Even the most introverted of introverts will experience a great deal of time with people. Simultaneously, the prominent and inescapable theme of junior and senior year is that you're profoundly alone. Think about it, that time is spent preparing to enter life after college, whether that be moving directly into the workforce in a given field or in my case, preparing for graduate school. It is a terrifying fact that after graduation, there is no communal dining hall, no neighborhood where all the houses have a name and a personality bestowed by their residents, no talent shows where you know all the performers. For me, there may be just a rainy city in which I know less than 10 people personally.
It's not a bad thing to prepare to be alone. The way in which the college student develops may just make them a better person. Think about it, in an environment surrounded by people of common purpose, you have to develop an individual identity that makes you stand out in some way. You decide who you're going to be and how you're going to relate to people. Of course this identity isn't static, but when you're working on it for 2-3 years, you usually create something semi-solid. You then have to take that identity and sit in it and transfer it to new environments, away from college.
Am I terrified? You bet I am. Is it okay to be thrust into a terrifying and uncomfortable situation? Yes. These days, I live off of To-Do lists. Today, as soon as I crossed one item off, I seemed to just add two more items to the list. Perhaps that's what entering adulthood is all about. No matter, I can do this.
It's Senior year. Time to do work.
Be well,
Megan
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Two Wolves
I was just talking with Michael about how weird life is. Almost 5 months ago, I was proud of myself for simply being able to take a shower and brush my teeth. My life was so immediate, I was focused on just making it through each breath.
Fast forward a few months and I'm sitting in the living room of my wonderful house that I can pay rent for, watching classic films and sipping my favorite tea out of my "Will you be my beau-tea-ful bridesmaid?" mug. Not to mention I get to hang out with wonderful people at my job every day. I'm planning my life after undergrad, but before that I'm planning a hiking trip abroad, and a few conferences I want to attend. Soon I'll have to go buy hiking boots, get my passport, and get art supplies for the ceramics class I'm so glad I get to take. I also have to officially list Alicia as my vice president for my poetry organization...and plan my next performance (and our duo) which needs to happen soon. I miss being in front of a microphone.
Life is weird.
My friend Nick and I have started a pact to go to church every Sunday morning. We went last week and we'll hopefully go tomorrow. He even changed his work availability around so we could go consistently. Isn't that sweet? We both miss the routine of having something to do on Sunday mornings--and even if I don't identify as religious, I always did like setting aside some time to listen and think.
The sermon last week was on the parable of the wheat and the weeds. Anyways, the pastor told the story of a Native American elder talking with his grandson about the battle between two wolves in his heart. The one was dark and evil, made up of greed, malice, bitterness, and anger. The one was light and good, made up of charity, compassion, kindness, empathy, and humanity. The grandson asked his grandfather which wolf he thought would win the battle. The grandfather replied, "Whichever wolf I feed. I pray I will never forget that the wolf I feed will be the one to win."
My wolves are still fighting. It's a daily challenge to keep from feeding the dark wolf and giving attention to the little bitter nuggets that still exist in me. Every day I'm still trying to figure out how to find a balance between taking actions that honor and protect what I deserve--and reject what I don't deserve, and taking actions that honor how compassionate I want to be. It's not easy, and, as tends to happen, the opinions of those around me on what I should do fall on a vast spectrum between the two poles.
Life is weird. Life is hard. Life is beautiful. And though every day may be its own difficult battle, hindsight can show which direction the war is leaning. I pray I never forget that the wolf I feed will be the one to win.
If you see me feeding the wrong wolf, gently remind me. Some days I still need some help and support.
Love,
Megan
Fast forward a few months and I'm sitting in the living room of my wonderful house that I can pay rent for, watching classic films and sipping my favorite tea out of my "Will you be my beau-tea-ful bridesmaid?" mug. Not to mention I get to hang out with wonderful people at my job every day. I'm planning my life after undergrad, but before that I'm planning a hiking trip abroad, and a few conferences I want to attend. Soon I'll have to go buy hiking boots, get my passport, and get art supplies for the ceramics class I'm so glad I get to take. I also have to officially list Alicia as my vice president for my poetry organization...and plan my next performance (and our duo) which needs to happen soon. I miss being in front of a microphone.
Life is weird.
My friend Nick and I have started a pact to go to church every Sunday morning. We went last week and we'll hopefully go tomorrow. He even changed his work availability around so we could go consistently. Isn't that sweet? We both miss the routine of having something to do on Sunday mornings--and even if I don't identify as religious, I always did like setting aside some time to listen and think.
The sermon last week was on the parable of the wheat and the weeds. Anyways, the pastor told the story of a Native American elder talking with his grandson about the battle between two wolves in his heart. The one was dark and evil, made up of greed, malice, bitterness, and anger. The one was light and good, made up of charity, compassion, kindness, empathy, and humanity. The grandson asked his grandfather which wolf he thought would win the battle. The grandfather replied, "Whichever wolf I feed. I pray I will never forget that the wolf I feed will be the one to win."
My wolves are still fighting. It's a daily challenge to keep from feeding the dark wolf and giving attention to the little bitter nuggets that still exist in me. Every day I'm still trying to figure out how to find a balance between taking actions that honor and protect what I deserve--and reject what I don't deserve, and taking actions that honor how compassionate I want to be. It's not easy, and, as tends to happen, the opinions of those around me on what I should do fall on a vast spectrum between the two poles.
Life is weird. Life is hard. Life is beautiful. And though every day may be its own difficult battle, hindsight can show which direction the war is leaning. I pray I never forget that the wolf I feed will be the one to win.
If you see me feeding the wrong wolf, gently remind me. Some days I still need some help and support.
Love,
Megan
Sunday, June 29, 2014
The Experience
I read somewhere recently that you should spend money on experiences, not material goods. Well, today I tried.
See, a while back, I did what every poor college kid does, and bought the cheapest stuff I could find at the grocery store. I bought corn tortillas, which ended up being a baaad decision really. What can you do with corn tortillas? They're dry, flaky, and mostly flavorless. Anyways, after a few failed food attempts, I decided I would worry about them later and just focus on my crazy week. So the weekend rolls around, and my mind drifts back to those tortillas...
I started researching recipes, finally landing on taquitos. It felt like a perfect opportunity to cook for the house--and an opportunity to try out a new recipe after my brilliant success with Thai peanut sauce the other day. Because I'm cheap, I decided to go with the corn and black bean recipe and forego the chicken. I already had black beans, so voila! I was in business.
Well, I had to go grocery shopping to pick up some extra stuff: corn, cilantro, garlic, onion, cheese, and guacamole. I also bought a dessert because why not? Family dinner deserves a dessert. I splurged a bit. Anyways, my roommate Alicia and I started our marathon in the kitchen, chopping the onion, garlic, and cilantro. prepping the corn and beans, sweating the garlic and onion, etc. Well, we get to the step in which we had to roll the taquitos and my tortillas just are not cooperating. No matter how hard we tried, they wouldn't hydrate or would just pathetically split. I googled technique after technique and didn't have any luck. Laid out in the pan, they were kinda hideous. Here I had spent all this time and money to try to make a nice dinner and I thought it would be ruined by a bunch of stupid tortillas.
During the prep, I kind of taught Alicia how to dice onions and prep garlic for the first time. We had a lot of good laughs at being domestic. And when I started freaking out, Alicia simply told me that we still had dessert and that McDonald's was just down the street. She even insisted on setting the table, lighting a candle, and putting up the flowers that Katelyn brought home from work. It was a full blown family dinner.
So the taquitos come out of the oven, and while some of them looked a bit rough, they tasted pretty dang good. We also had salsa, sour cream, and guac which helped. After serving after serving of taquitos and a strawberry cheese danish, we agreed that it had all worked out. Not to mention the sheer hilarity of the things that are said when you sit us all down together at one table. Afterwards, Alicia and I cleaned up and did all the dishes, all while joking that perhaps we would not completely fail in being able to complete domestic tasks in our future.
Hell yeah I splurged. Hell yeah it was nerve wracking to think that dinner would fail. And hell yeah it was an awesome experience. To be entirely honest, tonight was one of the best days of my summer so far. Forget my frustrating morning at work, the exhaustion, the tough week ahead. Today I watched a lot of soccer, drank a lot of tea, and spent a lot of time over onions, a hot stove, and a hotter oven.
The experiences are what we want. It's not necessarily the food, but the people you share it with that make a perfect meal. It's not the movie, but the people you get to lean into during the scary parts. It's not the financial cost of taking a trip to Scotland, or moving to Seattle, it's the thrill, the sights, the sounds, the adrenaline, the feeling you get when you hold up that pair of hiking boots that took you 98 miles across the West Highland Way along Loch Lomond.
Spend money on the experiences? don't mind if I do.
Be well. Share your happiness. Live the epic life.
-Megan
See, a while back, I did what every poor college kid does, and bought the cheapest stuff I could find at the grocery store. I bought corn tortillas, which ended up being a baaad decision really. What can you do with corn tortillas? They're dry, flaky, and mostly flavorless. Anyways, after a few failed food attempts, I decided I would worry about them later and just focus on my crazy week. So the weekend rolls around, and my mind drifts back to those tortillas...
I started researching recipes, finally landing on taquitos. It felt like a perfect opportunity to cook for the house--and an opportunity to try out a new recipe after my brilliant success with Thai peanut sauce the other day. Because I'm cheap, I decided to go with the corn and black bean recipe and forego the chicken. I already had black beans, so voila! I was in business.
Well, I had to go grocery shopping to pick up some extra stuff: corn, cilantro, garlic, onion, cheese, and guacamole. I also bought a dessert because why not? Family dinner deserves a dessert. I splurged a bit. Anyways, my roommate Alicia and I started our marathon in the kitchen, chopping the onion, garlic, and cilantro. prepping the corn and beans, sweating the garlic and onion, etc. Well, we get to the step in which we had to roll the taquitos and my tortillas just are not cooperating. No matter how hard we tried, they wouldn't hydrate or would just pathetically split. I googled technique after technique and didn't have any luck. Laid out in the pan, they were kinda hideous. Here I had spent all this time and money to try to make a nice dinner and I thought it would be ruined by a bunch of stupid tortillas.
During the prep, I kind of taught Alicia how to dice onions and prep garlic for the first time. We had a lot of good laughs at being domestic. And when I started freaking out, Alicia simply told me that we still had dessert and that McDonald's was just down the street. She even insisted on setting the table, lighting a candle, and putting up the flowers that Katelyn brought home from work. It was a full blown family dinner.
So the taquitos come out of the oven, and while some of them looked a bit rough, they tasted pretty dang good. We also had salsa, sour cream, and guac which helped. After serving after serving of taquitos and a strawberry cheese danish, we agreed that it had all worked out. Not to mention the sheer hilarity of the things that are said when you sit us all down together at one table. Afterwards, Alicia and I cleaned up and did all the dishes, all while joking that perhaps we would not completely fail in being able to complete domestic tasks in our future.
Hell yeah I splurged. Hell yeah it was nerve wracking to think that dinner would fail. And hell yeah it was an awesome experience. To be entirely honest, tonight was one of the best days of my summer so far. Forget my frustrating morning at work, the exhaustion, the tough week ahead. Today I watched a lot of soccer, drank a lot of tea, and spent a lot of time over onions, a hot stove, and a hotter oven.
The experiences are what we want. It's not necessarily the food, but the people you share it with that make a perfect meal. It's not the movie, but the people you get to lean into during the scary parts. It's not the financial cost of taking a trip to Scotland, or moving to Seattle, it's the thrill, the sights, the sounds, the adrenaline, the feeling you get when you hold up that pair of hiking boots that took you 98 miles across the West Highland Way along Loch Lomond.
Spend money on the experiences? don't mind if I do.
Be well. Share your happiness. Live the epic life.
-Megan
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Seeing the Big Picture
I woke up to the sound of rain. Soon after, Alicia, one of the housemates, made a pot of amazing coffee and I sat here sipping while watching Game of Thrones.
I talk to Alicia often about when I move away. I'm studying for the GRE every day, and soon I'll kick researching graduate programs into high gear. I've probably mentioned it many times before, but I'll be looking for a program in Seattle, Portland, Denver, or San Francisco. It feels so weird to be in such an amazing place where I am--living in an amazing house, being surrounded by so many loving and supportive people, and loving what I'm studying. This place is truly home, but I know I'll be ready to move on to the next adventure--and I hope that includes a coast, seafood, and good coffee.
See, there's so much more to life than this place and this moment. If there's one big thing that I've been trying to internalize over the last few months, even with everything horrible that's happened, it's that situations change. Sometimes they get worse, and sometimes they get better. My life is now on the upswing and all the pain and sadness I've experienced is only temporary. It's gently fading and giving way to better things. The big picture is that there's more to life than romantic relationships. The big picture is that I have the skills and tools and support to go make it somewhere else. If I keep my nose to the grindstone, meaning I do well on the GRE, do my research, and line all my grad school ducks in a row, there's no reason why I won't be completely fine in Seattle. The big picture is that I'm finally starting to reap the rewards of all the hard work and dedication I've put into the last 7 years of my life.
By nature, I'm a planner. I focus on the future. That's not to say that I'm never affected by the past. Seriously, if I could change the content of my dreams right now, I would say that my life is approaching perfect. But I can still wake up and understand that a dream is a dream and that my reality is perfectly fine. Focusing on the future isn't an excuse to ignore the now. Today I am sitting and enjoying where I'm at. I'm surrounded by people I love and by people who love me. I started to brainstorm people who I'd like to celebrate my birthday with and the list is HUGE. I love that, and I'm so very grateful. I have time and resources to pursue my dreams. That's a wonderful big picture to be living in. The smaller little details are that I'm sitting here, listening to a Yellowcard playlist, sipping coffee. Today I'm going to continue decorating and organizing my room, and I'll probably do laundry. What an amazingly epic feeling--to love the little details and the big picture.
Be well. Be patient. Be loving. Be kind.
-Megan
I talk to Alicia often about when I move away. I'm studying for the GRE every day, and soon I'll kick researching graduate programs into high gear. I've probably mentioned it many times before, but I'll be looking for a program in Seattle, Portland, Denver, or San Francisco. It feels so weird to be in such an amazing place where I am--living in an amazing house, being surrounded by so many loving and supportive people, and loving what I'm studying. This place is truly home, but I know I'll be ready to move on to the next adventure--and I hope that includes a coast, seafood, and good coffee.
See, there's so much more to life than this place and this moment. If there's one big thing that I've been trying to internalize over the last few months, even with everything horrible that's happened, it's that situations change. Sometimes they get worse, and sometimes they get better. My life is now on the upswing and all the pain and sadness I've experienced is only temporary. It's gently fading and giving way to better things. The big picture is that there's more to life than romantic relationships. The big picture is that I have the skills and tools and support to go make it somewhere else. If I keep my nose to the grindstone, meaning I do well on the GRE, do my research, and line all my grad school ducks in a row, there's no reason why I won't be completely fine in Seattle. The big picture is that I'm finally starting to reap the rewards of all the hard work and dedication I've put into the last 7 years of my life.
By nature, I'm a planner. I focus on the future. That's not to say that I'm never affected by the past. Seriously, if I could change the content of my dreams right now, I would say that my life is approaching perfect. But I can still wake up and understand that a dream is a dream and that my reality is perfectly fine. Focusing on the future isn't an excuse to ignore the now. Today I am sitting and enjoying where I'm at. I'm surrounded by people I love and by people who love me. I started to brainstorm people who I'd like to celebrate my birthday with and the list is HUGE. I love that, and I'm so very grateful. I have time and resources to pursue my dreams. That's a wonderful big picture to be living in. The smaller little details are that I'm sitting here, listening to a Yellowcard playlist, sipping coffee. Today I'm going to continue decorating and organizing my room, and I'll probably do laundry. What an amazingly epic feeling--to love the little details and the big picture.
Be well. Be patient. Be loving. Be kind.
-Megan
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Embracing Sunshine
Well friends, no anxious brain tonight, but certainly a racing heart. This week's combination of too little sleep, too much caffeine, and a few celebratory margaritas have all made it quite unhappy with me. No worries, it'll settle down once I get back into a routine.
So I'm sitting here, sipping peppermint tea and listening to I'd Run Away by The Jayhawks. The truth is though, there's no place I'd rather be than right here, right now. How funny to say that, since I would have given anything to not be me not long ago. Truth is, I feel like everything is falling into place.
My life is once again packed into boxes and over the course of the next week, I will move into The Burrow, our house for the next 12 months. Not only will I be living with three of the most energetic, genuine, and overall amazing people I've ever met, but I'll be surrounded by many incredible faces this summer. Many friends, including recent grads, are living close to me and plans for many happy ventures are already in place. If The Burrow is anything like my friend Rosina's house, it's going to be 12 months of crazy awesomeness. I'm looking forward to many nights in the backyard, blasting music, watching the sunset, and sipping more celebratory margaritas. My song of the summer is Ain't It Fun by Paramore. Look it up, but listen to it with the video--changes the connotation in my opinion.
Life has switched gears, but still feels 100% chaos and 100% relaxed contentment. It's officially summer, and the sun is making more and more of an appearance, even if the wind still keeps a chill. My finals are all done and forgotten and grades are trickling in. So far so good. I don't know what to say about this summer, other than I am overwhelmingly looking forward to all of it. I have so much time, but so many things to do. Soon I will start preparing for the GRE, hardcore researching graduate programs, and getting together with all those friends I mentioned. I also perfectly intend to curl up and watch some heavy amounts of Game of Thrones, Grey's Anatomy, House M.D., and Breaking Bad. Oh, and to convince you that I'm not just going to melt my brain on Netflix, I also plan to read exorbitant amounts of John Irving novels.
I am happy and content, but also cautious. Life has a terrible impermanence to it. This last week, I watched many friends graduate, which was all a bundle of sad, happy, nostalgic emotional everything. That will be me sooner than I think, but before then, I still have some crazy things to do. With luck, I'll go to Scotland (as I mentioned in the last post) but I'll also write and perform a lot of poetry, write a lot of non-fiction essays, play with rats, make some pottery, grade some psychology assignments, and go to a giant writing conference. If I get my ducks in a row, I'll also present at a conference in Illinois and work on more research-related things. After that, I'll graduate and move somewhere far away. Life is impermanent.
For now though, it's summer. And I am fully embracing the sun and the time... even though I might have to bring an umbrella to work today...
Peace and epicness,
-Megan
So I'm sitting here, sipping peppermint tea and listening to I'd Run Away by The Jayhawks. The truth is though, there's no place I'd rather be than right here, right now. How funny to say that, since I would have given anything to not be me not long ago. Truth is, I feel like everything is falling into place.
My life is once again packed into boxes and over the course of the next week, I will move into The Burrow, our house for the next 12 months. Not only will I be living with three of the most energetic, genuine, and overall amazing people I've ever met, but I'll be surrounded by many incredible faces this summer. Many friends, including recent grads, are living close to me and plans for many happy ventures are already in place. If The Burrow is anything like my friend Rosina's house, it's going to be 12 months of crazy awesomeness. I'm looking forward to many nights in the backyard, blasting music, watching the sunset, and sipping more celebratory margaritas. My song of the summer is Ain't It Fun by Paramore. Look it up, but listen to it with the video--changes the connotation in my opinion.
Life has switched gears, but still feels 100% chaos and 100% relaxed contentment. It's officially summer, and the sun is making more and more of an appearance, even if the wind still keeps a chill. My finals are all done and forgotten and grades are trickling in. So far so good. I don't know what to say about this summer, other than I am overwhelmingly looking forward to all of it. I have so much time, but so many things to do. Soon I will start preparing for the GRE, hardcore researching graduate programs, and getting together with all those friends I mentioned. I also perfectly intend to curl up and watch some heavy amounts of Game of Thrones, Grey's Anatomy, House M.D., and Breaking Bad. Oh, and to convince you that I'm not just going to melt my brain on Netflix, I also plan to read exorbitant amounts of John Irving novels.
I am happy and content, but also cautious. Life has a terrible impermanence to it. This last week, I watched many friends graduate, which was all a bundle of sad, happy, nostalgic emotional everything. That will be me sooner than I think, but before then, I still have some crazy things to do. With luck, I'll go to Scotland (as I mentioned in the last post) but I'll also write and perform a lot of poetry, write a lot of non-fiction essays, play with rats, make some pottery, grade some psychology assignments, and go to a giant writing conference. If I get my ducks in a row, I'll also present at a conference in Illinois and work on more research-related things. After that, I'll graduate and move somewhere far away. Life is impermanent.
For now though, it's summer. And I am fully embracing the sun and the time... even though I might have to bring an umbrella to work today...
Peace and epicness,
-Megan
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Embracing Rain
It's been a while since I've blogged. But tonight I have an anxious brain, so maybe this will help. And maybe I'll entertain someone who's also up later than they intended to be.
I hate rain. Lately though, my life feels like it has contained a lot of it--both literally and figuratively--and it might continue to do so. It feels like the last two months have been some of the worst and best of my life. I'm still healing. I would be being dishonest if I said I still wasn't experiencing a lot of hurt and sadness over my breakup with Nicole. I've always been someone who feels and loves intensely. I've had to learn a lot of things throughout this entire experience, some that I never wanted to, or never thought I would have to. There's a pretty sharp learning curve to suddenly going from being 1/2 of what you thought and hoped was a strong duo, to being single. It's been hard, but as a friend told me, the most important life lessons are both the hardest and easiest to learn.
There are definite silver linings, and some of that learning is easy and wonderful and new. There's something beautiful and redeeming in being so open and so vulnerable. I won't say there's beauty in being shattered. I was never shattered, even though I thought I was for a short time. I was just a bit bruised up. But even so, I am so happy and glad that I allowed my heart to be open, and if anything, it feels even more so now. I have never, ever regretted it. An open heart leaves you vulnerable to the worst that life can throw at you, but it also lets in the most amazing things--people, music, anything and everything incredible to experience. Lately I want to experience everything and connect with everyone. I want to form every thought and opinion straight from my own experiences. And, I want to jump into said experiences with openness. So far it has allowed me to connect with incredible people in ways I didn't let myself before. There's a weight and a great deal of meaning that comes with knowing that you are completely responsible and in control of your own life, and for me, that also comes with the incredible desire to be happy, content, and proud of who I am as a person and of how I connect with other people. Sticking with the honesty of this post, I do feel that way--more than ever before.
Back to the rain idea. There's a lot of built up desire and momentum in me, and there are a lot of dreams I not only want to chase, but want to actually catch. I feel drawn to Seattle for my grad work, even though I hate rain. I dunno, I just really want someplace big, and liberal, and full of amazing coffee and seafood. Oh, and an ocean. That sounds awfully nice as well. If Seattle doesn't happen, other possibilities include Portland, San Francisco, and Denver. I just need an adventure I think. I need hard work and late nights and city lights and to feel small and large at the same time.
More immediately, I am dead set on doing everything I can to go to Scotland in October. It's pretty much walking across Scotland for a week and sleeping at B&Bs. I just want that really long walk! I want to reach the end and be proud of that mental and physical accomplishment. I was told I would need a good pair of hiking boots and a high quality rain coat. Once again, I hate rain...or... hated rain. There are other things too--I kind of really want to take piano lessons on an impulse. I want to be on stage and act again, even if it's for a 10 minute scene. I want to have a psychology honors thesis next Spring. I want to hit the gym this summer. I want to present at MBLGTACC in Normal, Illinois in February. I want to say screw it and actually sing at a karaoke bar. And, maybe I want to drink a little too much one night while watching Golden Girls with incredible friends.
I want to live in a way that allows me to feel everything, but I don't want that to be a temporary desire I'm just feeling now as I'm 21 (soon to be 22). I want to live that way forever. I want to be open, accepting, and vulnerable to every heartache, every perfect song on the radio, every anxiety attack, and every moment of pure loving kindness.
I want to be able to embrace every single raindrop.
Live an epic life. I'm trying to.
-Megan
I hate rain. Lately though, my life feels like it has contained a lot of it--both literally and figuratively--and it might continue to do so. It feels like the last two months have been some of the worst and best of my life. I'm still healing. I would be being dishonest if I said I still wasn't experiencing a lot of hurt and sadness over my breakup with Nicole. I've always been someone who feels and loves intensely. I've had to learn a lot of things throughout this entire experience, some that I never wanted to, or never thought I would have to. There's a pretty sharp learning curve to suddenly going from being 1/2 of what you thought and hoped was a strong duo, to being single. It's been hard, but as a friend told me, the most important life lessons are both the hardest and easiest to learn.
There are definite silver linings, and some of that learning is easy and wonderful and new. There's something beautiful and redeeming in being so open and so vulnerable. I won't say there's beauty in being shattered. I was never shattered, even though I thought I was for a short time. I was just a bit bruised up. But even so, I am so happy and glad that I allowed my heart to be open, and if anything, it feels even more so now. I have never, ever regretted it. An open heart leaves you vulnerable to the worst that life can throw at you, but it also lets in the most amazing things--people, music, anything and everything incredible to experience. Lately I want to experience everything and connect with everyone. I want to form every thought and opinion straight from my own experiences. And, I want to jump into said experiences with openness. So far it has allowed me to connect with incredible people in ways I didn't let myself before. There's a weight and a great deal of meaning that comes with knowing that you are completely responsible and in control of your own life, and for me, that also comes with the incredible desire to be happy, content, and proud of who I am as a person and of how I connect with other people. Sticking with the honesty of this post, I do feel that way--more than ever before.
Back to the rain idea. There's a lot of built up desire and momentum in me, and there are a lot of dreams I not only want to chase, but want to actually catch. I feel drawn to Seattle for my grad work, even though I hate rain. I dunno, I just really want someplace big, and liberal, and full of amazing coffee and seafood. Oh, and an ocean. That sounds awfully nice as well. If Seattle doesn't happen, other possibilities include Portland, San Francisco, and Denver. I just need an adventure I think. I need hard work and late nights and city lights and to feel small and large at the same time.
More immediately, I am dead set on doing everything I can to go to Scotland in October. It's pretty much walking across Scotland for a week and sleeping at B&Bs. I just want that really long walk! I want to reach the end and be proud of that mental and physical accomplishment. I was told I would need a good pair of hiking boots and a high quality rain coat. Once again, I hate rain...or... hated rain. There are other things too--I kind of really want to take piano lessons on an impulse. I want to be on stage and act again, even if it's for a 10 minute scene. I want to have a psychology honors thesis next Spring. I want to hit the gym this summer. I want to present at MBLGTACC in Normal, Illinois in February. I want to say screw it and actually sing at a karaoke bar. And, maybe I want to drink a little too much one night while watching Golden Girls with incredible friends.
I want to live in a way that allows me to feel everything, but I don't want that to be a temporary desire I'm just feeling now as I'm 21 (soon to be 22). I want to live that way forever. I want to be open, accepting, and vulnerable to every heartache, every perfect song on the radio, every anxiety attack, and every moment of pure loving kindness.
I want to be able to embrace every single raindrop.
Live an epic life. I'm trying to.
-Megan
Thursday, August 23, 2012
"I'm just fine here finding me."
By the way, that title comes from the song "Finding Me" by Vertical Horizon.
Reader, I just got done eating a plate full of Eggo chocolate chip waffles. It reminded me of childhood and also of those times when my mom would dig out the actual waffle maker and make them from scratch. That's been the entire week for me--throwbacks to childhood. I drank 7up and ate popsicles yesterday.
I've spent the last few days struggling about what to write for this post. Sure I could talk about what it feels like to be going back to campus in two days, but I won't. The only thing I'll say is this: If last year felt like a timid dipping in of the toes into college life, then this year feels like a running plunge, complete with student activism and new opportunities. Oh, and the water doesn't even feel cold. Instead, I'm going to talk about something else and something probably more broad.
Today marks the 3rd anniversary of the death of my aunt Mary, and I will always be thankful for her influence on my life, which shows itself now more than ever. That's true with all the aunts on my dad's side. I see distinct aspects of myself in each of them as I get older, but it comes not from intentional shaping on their part...
I don't exactly know how to phrase everything, but everyone needs the freedom to find their own way--that's not to undervalue good, strong guidance and influence, but that guidance should open doors to all sorts of life experiences instead of closing some off. Maybe I'm naive in thinking that if people are not forced down a certain path and instead are left to their own devices, they will naturally gravitate towards choices that lead to their own brand of a happy and fulfilling life.
I'm glad I feel like the latter is becoming more and more my reality. Certain influences are causing me to pursue happiness in my own way, not because they're consciously trying to, but because they're leading or have led by wonderful example and a sort of hands off approach. You don't have to tell someone who to be, you just have to be someone they admire to make a difference in their life.
All of it has reinforced the idea in me that I'm going to be just fine if I'm allowed to live at my own pace and make my own decisions.
Peace, be well, be epic, and I'll probably be back to campus the next time you hear from me.
-Megan
Reader, I just got done eating a plate full of Eggo chocolate chip waffles. It reminded me of childhood and also of those times when my mom would dig out the actual waffle maker and make them from scratch. That's been the entire week for me--throwbacks to childhood. I drank 7up and ate popsicles yesterday.
I've spent the last few days struggling about what to write for this post. Sure I could talk about what it feels like to be going back to campus in two days, but I won't. The only thing I'll say is this: If last year felt like a timid dipping in of the toes into college life, then this year feels like a running plunge, complete with student activism and new opportunities. Oh, and the water doesn't even feel cold. Instead, I'm going to talk about something else and something probably more broad.
Today marks the 3rd anniversary of the death of my aunt Mary, and I will always be thankful for her influence on my life, which shows itself now more than ever. That's true with all the aunts on my dad's side. I see distinct aspects of myself in each of them as I get older, but it comes not from intentional shaping on their part...
I don't exactly know how to phrase everything, but everyone needs the freedom to find their own way--that's not to undervalue good, strong guidance and influence, but that guidance should open doors to all sorts of life experiences instead of closing some off. Maybe I'm naive in thinking that if people are not forced down a certain path and instead are left to their own devices, they will naturally gravitate towards choices that lead to their own brand of a happy and fulfilling life.
I'm glad I feel like the latter is becoming more and more my reality. Certain influences are causing me to pursue happiness in my own way, not because they're consciously trying to, but because they're leading or have led by wonderful example and a sort of hands off approach. You don't have to tell someone who to be, you just have to be someone they admire to make a difference in their life.
All of it has reinforced the idea in me that I'm going to be just fine if I'm allowed to live at my own pace and make my own decisions.
Peace, be well, be epic, and I'll probably be back to campus the next time you hear from me.
-Megan
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
When Life Gives You Lemons...
Woah Readers, woah. I know I haven't blogged since the last days of college, and I know it's been FOREVER, (literally it has been over a month) but I needed some time to relax and not blog and the time has also let the epicness accumulate so there's more excitement for you to come back to when I finally decided enough was enough. Here we are, June 12th, and My Epic Life is officially off hiatus.
You know the saying, "When life gives you lemons make lemonade" right? Who doesn't know that saying? Long story short, I take it to mean something like, "When life gives you an opportunity, take it and do something good with it." Well, about three weeks ago, life gave me lemons. Here's the story:
So I had been going to church with Nicole (the mastermind behind Dorm Room 718) almost every Sunday ever since the beginning of the school year. I think the first time I went was in October? Anyways, I got to know people there and soon I had a church family. I didn't really see that coming, but I figured I would just go with whatever happened.
Throughout the entire year I kept hearing about this July trip to New Orleans for the ELCA National Youth Gathering and thought, "Hey cool, I can't wait to hear about it in the fall when I see people again." Now here's where the lemons come in. On May 23rd, Nicole told me they had someone drop out and people wanted to know if I would consider filling the slot as an adult leader. *CUE FREAKOUT*
After losing WAY too much sleep over it, I said yes on June 5th and here I am, trying to mentally and physically prepare for an intense 11 day trip in July. It all feels a bit surreal, like I never imagined I would be doing something like this or taking such an opportunity despite the financial strain. At the expense of my dignity, I will use the acronym YOLO just this one time.
I'm feeling overwhelmed... this is like, SO MANY BUCKET LIST ITEMS BEING CROSSED OFF AT ONCE! Here are some of the things I'm excited for:
1. I get to lead amazing kids and hopefully be the most epic leader with the most epic discussions ever. If I remove my playful side for a second, it means I get to do my best to help them learn from each other, learn from themselves, and learn from me. As an added bonus, I get to learn from them as well.
2. I might get to see my old roommate who lives in Omaha, NE
3. Seeing Switchfoot in concert and all the events at the Superdome in NO.
4. Getting to see the cities of St. Louis, Memphis, New Orleans, and Kansas City, and see states new to me which include the following: Nebraska, Kansas (if we drive through it), Missouri, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, and Arkansas.
4. Just plain traveling and all the shenanigans that'll be happening. Oh, and did I mention I get to go to the Civil Rights Museum, French Quarter, Beale Steet, and go on a swamp tour? EPIC!!!
As you can see, my life has taken a turn for the even more epic. I'm sure more blog entries about NOLA are to follow. I'm so excited, and suuuper nervous at the same time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go pinch myself repeatedly.
I send ALL the love! Be epic and be well.
-Megan
You know the saying, "When life gives you lemons make lemonade" right? Who doesn't know that saying? Long story short, I take it to mean something like, "When life gives you an opportunity, take it and do something good with it." Well, about three weeks ago, life gave me lemons. Here's the story:
So I had been going to church with Nicole (the mastermind behind Dorm Room 718) almost every Sunday ever since the beginning of the school year. I think the first time I went was in October? Anyways, I got to know people there and soon I had a church family. I didn't really see that coming, but I figured I would just go with whatever happened.
Throughout the entire year I kept hearing about this July trip to New Orleans for the ELCA National Youth Gathering and thought, "Hey cool, I can't wait to hear about it in the fall when I see people again." Now here's where the lemons come in. On May 23rd, Nicole told me they had someone drop out and people wanted to know if I would consider filling the slot as an adult leader. *CUE FREAKOUT*
After losing WAY too much sleep over it, I said yes on June 5th and here I am, trying to mentally and physically prepare for an intense 11 day trip in July. It all feels a bit surreal, like I never imagined I would be doing something like this or taking such an opportunity despite the financial strain. At the expense of my dignity, I will use the acronym YOLO just this one time.
I'm feeling overwhelmed... this is like, SO MANY BUCKET LIST ITEMS BEING CROSSED OFF AT ONCE! Here are some of the things I'm excited for:
1. I get to lead amazing kids and hopefully be the most epic leader with the most epic discussions ever. If I remove my playful side for a second, it means I get to do my best to help them learn from each other, learn from themselves, and learn from me. As an added bonus, I get to learn from them as well.
2. I might get to see my old roommate who lives in Omaha, NE
3. Seeing Switchfoot in concert and all the events at the Superdome in NO.
4. Getting to see the cities of St. Louis, Memphis, New Orleans, and Kansas City, and see states new to me which include the following: Nebraska, Kansas (if we drive through it), Missouri, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, and Arkansas.
4. Just plain traveling and all the shenanigans that'll be happening. Oh, and did I mention I get to go to the Civil Rights Museum, French Quarter, Beale Steet, and go on a swamp tour? EPIC!!!
As you can see, my life has taken a turn for the even more epic. I'm sure more blog entries about NOLA are to follow. I'm so excited, and suuuper nervous at the same time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go pinch myself repeatedly.
I send ALL the love! Be epic and be well.
-Megan
Monday, April 30, 2012
A Good Kind of Pain
Reader, I'm procrastinating on a philosophy take-home final that I've discovered will take me forever. Not joking. 6 hardcore essay questions worth 50 points each. It counts for 25% of my class grade. I wish that was all I had to worry about, but unfortunately I have a Sociology exam and Cognitive Psych final to worry about before I make my journey home on Saturday.
I've been dealing with a bit of pain all day. I slept fine, and didn't get too bruised up from taking down my loft and putting the bunk back up--no this isn't anything like that. This is heartache, complete and utter heartache. With how busy we've been over the last three weeks, there's been no time to simply let the facts sink in. This is all coming to a sudden and abrupt end whether we feel ready for it or not, and believe me, I don't feel ready for it. At all. Crap... here come the teary eyes.
As much as this hurts, I'm so glad it does. I sometimes disagree with the old cliché "No pain, no gain" but this is a good pain, such a good pain. My heart is aching in the most wonderful way because it means I don't want to leave, that I have found a home here. It means that all of this, and I mean ALL of this feels right. I ache because of memories, because I won't laugh until I cry nearly as often. Usually, pain means something is wrong, and in this case it means that something right is coming to an end. It's perhaps, the absence of what is right.
There are horror stories out there where individuals experience maladaptive pain reception/response and their lives are a constant struggle of self-awareness to figure out if anything is wrong. Parents of these individuals often say they'd give anything for their child to feel pain. Like I said, this pain means something good is changing, and that's not to say summer will be bad, but here has become home and leaving home is always so bittersweet...
It's like, do you ever feel like the pieces are starting to fall into place, even if you can't quite tell what the end result will be? That's how I feel. I'm practically giddy with the feeling that we're hurling towards something good. I just don't know what it'll be yet. All I know is that I get that feeling here. I've never laughed so hard for so long, nor have I felt such a sense of solidarity and belonging like I do in certain situations being here has allowed me to experience.
As I type this, there's a rabbit sitting 3 feet outside my window... it's munching on the most tender dandelions, but it's chewing well over a mile a minute and often freezes. I just want it to relax. I want it to slow down and take a look around and appreciate this moment, to know that it's all going to be okay. The trees on campus are in full bloom and the scent is breathtaking, literal in more ways than one, but the allergies are totally worth the beauty.
Even though it is finals week and I'm procrastinating on the philosophy final, life is good. This pain is good. Ripping apart the web that has formed here is good, because like muscles, these connections only grow stronger by being shredded and allowed to repair. Time will ease the pain to be sure, but I can't wait for next year.
Good things come to an end. Luckily for us this isn't the end, just a long, long rest.
This song feels like an accurate summary of my life in this very moment, both the joy of returning home to see my one family, both blood related and otherwise, as well as the pain of leaving my family here. I'll miss them, and you can bet I'll be playing this song in the weeks before school starts up again. It's also the first song on Concordia's Beat, a CD that features student performers. Personally the version on the CD is better. :P
Love life, be brave, understand that pain is not forever, nor is it always a bad thing.
-Megan
I've been dealing with a bit of pain all day. I slept fine, and didn't get too bruised up from taking down my loft and putting the bunk back up--no this isn't anything like that. This is heartache, complete and utter heartache. With how busy we've been over the last three weeks, there's been no time to simply let the facts sink in. This is all coming to a sudden and abrupt end whether we feel ready for it or not, and believe me, I don't feel ready for it. At all. Crap... here come the teary eyes.
As much as this hurts, I'm so glad it does. I sometimes disagree with the old cliché "No pain, no gain" but this is a good pain, such a good pain. My heart is aching in the most wonderful way because it means I don't want to leave, that I have found a home here. It means that all of this, and I mean ALL of this feels right. I ache because of memories, because I won't laugh until I cry nearly as often. Usually, pain means something is wrong, and in this case it means that something right is coming to an end. It's perhaps, the absence of what is right.
There are horror stories out there where individuals experience maladaptive pain reception/response and their lives are a constant struggle of self-awareness to figure out if anything is wrong. Parents of these individuals often say they'd give anything for their child to feel pain. Like I said, this pain means something good is changing, and that's not to say summer will be bad, but here has become home and leaving home is always so bittersweet...
It's like, do you ever feel like the pieces are starting to fall into place, even if you can't quite tell what the end result will be? That's how I feel. I'm practically giddy with the feeling that we're hurling towards something good. I just don't know what it'll be yet. All I know is that I get that feeling here. I've never laughed so hard for so long, nor have I felt such a sense of solidarity and belonging like I do in certain situations being here has allowed me to experience.
As I type this, there's a rabbit sitting 3 feet outside my window... it's munching on the most tender dandelions, but it's chewing well over a mile a minute and often freezes. I just want it to relax. I want it to slow down and take a look around and appreciate this moment, to know that it's all going to be okay. The trees on campus are in full bloom and the scent is breathtaking, literal in more ways than one, but the allergies are totally worth the beauty.
Even though it is finals week and I'm procrastinating on the philosophy final, life is good. This pain is good. Ripping apart the web that has formed here is good, because like muscles, these connections only grow stronger by being shredded and allowed to repair. Time will ease the pain to be sure, but I can't wait for next year.
Good things come to an end. Luckily for us this isn't the end, just a long, long rest.
This song feels like an accurate summary of my life in this very moment, both the joy of returning home to see my one family, both blood related and otherwise, as well as the pain of leaving my family here. I'll miss them, and you can bet I'll be playing this song in the weeks before school starts up again. It's also the first song on Concordia's Beat, a CD that features student performers. Personally the version on the CD is better. :P
Love life, be brave, understand that pain is not forever, nor is it always a bad thing.
-Megan
Sunday, April 15, 2012
End of the Road
Hello Reader,
May your Sunday be lazy, but not rainy as mine seems to be. I can hear the constant dripping of water outside my window and perhaps needless to say... I'm keeping the curtain closed.
My college is wrapping up their presentation of Camino Real by Tennessee Williams with their final performance today. Camino Real means "end of the road" and that's precisely where we, mostly I, find myself today.
The academic year is almost over. I'll have to commence a furious search for full-time employment within the next couple weeks. I'll have to pack up my life and leave my new home to go back to a place that now feels less like home and more like a vacation destination. Lovely to be at, and comfortable to be sure, but no where I really want to live...
One can approach this end of the road with celebration, fear, cautious optimism, melancholic moping--the kind that makes you lapse into thunderous applause and numerous pats on the back when you realize you had the guts to drag your sorry butt out of bed--or they can approach it with all of those reactions previously listed, as I seem to have been doing in a vicious cycle over the last week or so.
The fact remains... this is it. This is the curtain call on this particular play, this particular year in my (mostly epic) life, but good thing there is ample evidence of its existence. Good thing our year has been documented, both digitally, and with not so carefully written letters, almost too numerous to count. There's the facebook statuses, the tweets, the tumblr posts, the BLOGS--100 posts now on Dorm Room 718, and of course, our memories that we shouldn't necessarily discount. Oh, and the folded ticket stubs carefully tucked away in my wallet. This roller coaster has left its mark quite visibly on a number of mediums, including human hearts.
Was it good? Bad? Horrible? EPIC?! Hindsight will be 20/20, but it's been all of it.
Now this isn't the last post of the school year by any means, but know that it's winding down, speeding up, and doing everything in between.
Let's resolve to let the epicness continue.
-Megan
May your Sunday be lazy, but not rainy as mine seems to be. I can hear the constant dripping of water outside my window and perhaps needless to say... I'm keeping the curtain closed.
My college is wrapping up their presentation of Camino Real by Tennessee Williams with their final performance today. Camino Real means "end of the road" and that's precisely where we, mostly I, find myself today.
The academic year is almost over. I'll have to commence a furious search for full-time employment within the next couple weeks. I'll have to pack up my life and leave my new home to go back to a place that now feels less like home and more like a vacation destination. Lovely to be at, and comfortable to be sure, but no where I really want to live...
One can approach this end of the road with celebration, fear, cautious optimism, melancholic moping--the kind that makes you lapse into thunderous applause and numerous pats on the back when you realize you had the guts to drag your sorry butt out of bed--or they can approach it with all of those reactions previously listed, as I seem to have been doing in a vicious cycle over the last week or so.
The fact remains... this is it. This is the curtain call on this particular play, this particular year in my (mostly epic) life, but good thing there is ample evidence of its existence. Good thing our year has been documented, both digitally, and with not so carefully written letters, almost too numerous to count. There's the facebook statuses, the tweets, the tumblr posts, the BLOGS--100 posts now on Dorm Room 718, and of course, our memories that we shouldn't necessarily discount. Oh, and the folded ticket stubs carefully tucked away in my wallet. This roller coaster has left its mark quite visibly on a number of mediums, including human hearts.
Was it good? Bad? Horrible? EPIC?! Hindsight will be 20/20, but it's been all of it.
Now this isn't the last post of the school year by any means, but know that it's winding down, speeding up, and doing everything in between.
Let's resolve to let the epicness continue.
-Megan
Sunday, March 25, 2012
I'll be back soon!
Sorry Reader,
I know I've been a little bit AWOL lately--computer issues. But I'll be back online soon enough.
Between guest writing on Dorm Room 718 and this blog, I focus a lot on appreciating the small things, almost to the point of overkill. I'm sure you get it--small things and simple pleasures are important. The thing is, when you're far away in college, it's pretty much all you have. You don't have a permanent home, you're disconnected from your old friends and family, you don't have a fully stocked fridge to just grab a snack from--heck if you're like me you don't even have carpet. Little things get you through the days, weeks, and months.
Sometimes those little things turn into big things. Right now I'm chilling in a lounge and listening to the same song on repeat over and over and over again. Funny how a song can affect your mood. I listen to music when I want to be sad, be happy, or right now when I just want to maintain whatever mood this is. It's just nice to have that ability to listen to a song on repeat.
I'll tell you something else I didn't expect to come out of my college experience. I didn't expect to find a church family. I didn't expect to attend any church. Heck I'm not even that religious, but I've been lucky enough to fall into the company of people who put me into awkward situations which lead to such things as having the routine of attending a worship service. There, I've met some truly lovely people who've made me feel completely and utterly welcome. It is honestly the last thing I expected to find while in college and I know it's something I'll never find at home.
It's just funny to think about how important having a routine on Sunday has been for me. So Reader? appreciate the little things, especially when you notice they're becoming big things. That's how you can tell life is shifting--especially in better directions.
Be cool, be epic, love the sunshine.
-Megan
I know I've been a little bit AWOL lately--computer issues. But I'll be back online soon enough.
Between guest writing on Dorm Room 718 and this blog, I focus a lot on appreciating the small things, almost to the point of overkill. I'm sure you get it--small things and simple pleasures are important. The thing is, when you're far away in college, it's pretty much all you have. You don't have a permanent home, you're disconnected from your old friends and family, you don't have a fully stocked fridge to just grab a snack from--heck if you're like me you don't even have carpet. Little things get you through the days, weeks, and months.
Sometimes those little things turn into big things. Right now I'm chilling in a lounge and listening to the same song on repeat over and over and over again. Funny how a song can affect your mood. I listen to music when I want to be sad, be happy, or right now when I just want to maintain whatever mood this is. It's just nice to have that ability to listen to a song on repeat.
I'll tell you something else I didn't expect to come out of my college experience. I didn't expect to find a church family. I didn't expect to attend any church. Heck I'm not even that religious, but I've been lucky enough to fall into the company of people who put me into awkward situations which lead to such things as having the routine of attending a worship service. There, I've met some truly lovely people who've made me feel completely and utterly welcome. It is honestly the last thing I expected to find while in college and I know it's something I'll never find at home.
It's just funny to think about how important having a routine on Sunday has been for me. So Reader? appreciate the little things, especially when you notice they're becoming big things. That's how you can tell life is shifting--especially in better directions.
Be cool, be epic, love the sunshine.
-Megan
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Control Freak
Hey Reader, how's it going?
Okay, I'm going to say this straight up. From the mind of a control freak... Don't be a control freak! There, I said it. Don't be a control freak.
I know so many people and am one of those people who will try to control whatever I can, however I can, and for as long as I can, but I'm learning to knock that off and just sit back and let life happen. We like to convince ourselves that we control our lives. We don't. Sometimes we convince ourselves that our lives control us. It doesn't. The relationship between you and life just isn't that simple.
It's easy and comforting to lay down hard and fast rules for life. See, I think people have this idea that somehow they know what's best for them and that anything that deviates from that will result in ultimate unhappiness. Not true! Don't judge situations, people, anything by its cover. You have no idea whether or not they could enrich your life in some way, shape, or form. That guy with the mohawk and lip ring? Yeah he could be your political and musical soulmate, plus he's great with kids. Have standards by all means! Do not lower your standards, but don't make them impossibly high either. Just allow for exceptions to your own life rules. Life is unpredictable and will never follow a set of rules, that's what makes it epic! Anything could happen! Don't set your life in stone, but rather something a little more malleable so when life proves you wrong and slams the book down, you're not going to shatter and fall apart, but bend a little bit.
Here are some examples of rules I've not regretted bending or breaking:
1. I will never let anyone coerce me into going on a roller coaster.
2. I will never wear a strapless dress.
3. I will never consider dating anyone who _________. (insert a number of adjectives or verbs)
4. I will never WANT to speak in public.
5. I will never doubt my career choice.
6. I will not stay in bed until 6:30 pm.
7. I will not let someone coerce me into dyeing my hair.
8. I will not let someone influence when I get a tattoo.
9. I will not write a 12 page paper in one day.
10. I will not act like an idiot in front of George Watsky.
11. I will NEVER take a dance class. (We're doing the Electric Slide today. Gotta cover those Elementary school dance basics!)
So there. Bend your own rules. You never know where life will take you, but at some point you have to let it take you there.
May your life be all things epic and wonderful,
-Megan
Okay, I'm going to say this straight up. From the mind of a control freak... Don't be a control freak! There, I said it. Don't be a control freak.
I know so many people and am one of those people who will try to control whatever I can, however I can, and for as long as I can, but I'm learning to knock that off and just sit back and let life happen. We like to convince ourselves that we control our lives. We don't. Sometimes we convince ourselves that our lives control us. It doesn't. The relationship between you and life just isn't that simple.
It's easy and comforting to lay down hard and fast rules for life. See, I think people have this idea that somehow they know what's best for them and that anything that deviates from that will result in ultimate unhappiness. Not true! Don't judge situations, people, anything by its cover. You have no idea whether or not they could enrich your life in some way, shape, or form. That guy with the mohawk and lip ring? Yeah he could be your political and musical soulmate, plus he's great with kids. Have standards by all means! Do not lower your standards, but don't make them impossibly high either. Just allow for exceptions to your own life rules. Life is unpredictable and will never follow a set of rules, that's what makes it epic! Anything could happen! Don't set your life in stone, but rather something a little more malleable so when life proves you wrong and slams the book down, you're not going to shatter and fall apart, but bend a little bit.
Here are some examples of rules I've not regretted bending or breaking:
1. I will never let anyone coerce me into going on a roller coaster.
2. I will never wear a strapless dress.
3. I will never consider dating anyone who _________. (insert a number of adjectives or verbs)
4. I will never WANT to speak in public.
5. I will never doubt my career choice.
6. I will not stay in bed until 6:30 pm.
7. I will not let someone coerce me into dyeing my hair.
8. I will not let someone influence when I get a tattoo.
9. I will not write a 12 page paper in one day.
10. I will not act like an idiot in front of George Watsky.
11. I will NEVER take a dance class. (We're doing the Electric Slide today. Gotta cover those Elementary school dance basics!)
So there. Bend your own rules. You never know where life will take you, but at some point you have to let it take you there.
May your life be all things epic and wonderful,
-Megan
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Spectra
Heyo Reader! How're you?
I have about ten minutes before I head off to my philosophy class... what better to do with ten minutes than write a blog post right? Yes. So after class I am going to try to crank out an essay, breeze through the rest of my homework, maybe eat something, and then head off to see an acoustic show around 10. Good day? I think so, but that doesn't mean I don't need a weekend... right now preferably.
Seriously, since when did we make everything so black and white? You know those color pallets with maybe 10 colors on them? Then have you seen those full color spectra like the customize section of the Microsoft Paint program? Life is a spectrum, not a dichotomy. We dichotomize everything! Why? Well, it's easier to organize in our heads, but life offers so much more variety when we understand that almost every experience is taken from a spectrum of experiences. Think about all the false dichotomies we encounter in life. These are, but are not limited to: gender, sexuality, leadership, even race. I mean really, how much more colorful can life be if we accept the entire spectrum as reality instead of just a limited pallet of color? False dichotomy is a logical fallacy for a reason.
I was thinking about how I've changed from more of a leader to more of a follower the other day. Then I smacked myself in the head and told myself to stop being so ridiculous about the whole thing. My leadership roles have shifted, turned a few degrees to the right or left maybe, but they have not completely reversed. I am simply more comfortable taking control in different situations than I have been in the past, and I'm much more content to be led.
We can't just live life pigeon-holing ourselves into one set role, position, or anything else. We are humans and we change. Everything about ourselves, be it personality, preferences, interests, whatever you can think of, has the capacity to shift and shift fairly often. It's okay to recognize in yourself the fact that you are a dynamic human being. Just accept it and go with it. Enjoy the dynamic ride. Who we are, and what we are is just a flexible point on a spectrum. Spectra are epic--take rainbows for example. Nothing is better than a good rainbow... except a double rainbow...
Have the most excellent of days.
-Megan
I have about ten minutes before I head off to my philosophy class... what better to do with ten minutes than write a blog post right? Yes. So after class I am going to try to crank out an essay, breeze through the rest of my homework, maybe eat something, and then head off to see an acoustic show around 10. Good day? I think so, but that doesn't mean I don't need a weekend... right now preferably.
Seriously, since when did we make everything so black and white? You know those color pallets with maybe 10 colors on them? Then have you seen those full color spectra like the customize section of the Microsoft Paint program? Life is a spectrum, not a dichotomy. We dichotomize everything! Why? Well, it's easier to organize in our heads, but life offers so much more variety when we understand that almost every experience is taken from a spectrum of experiences. Think about all the false dichotomies we encounter in life. These are, but are not limited to: gender, sexuality, leadership, even race. I mean really, how much more colorful can life be if we accept the entire spectrum as reality instead of just a limited pallet of color? False dichotomy is a logical fallacy for a reason.
I was thinking about how I've changed from more of a leader to more of a follower the other day. Then I smacked myself in the head and told myself to stop being so ridiculous about the whole thing. My leadership roles have shifted, turned a few degrees to the right or left maybe, but they have not completely reversed. I am simply more comfortable taking control in different situations than I have been in the past, and I'm much more content to be led.
We can't just live life pigeon-holing ourselves into one set role, position, or anything else. We are humans and we change. Everything about ourselves, be it personality, preferences, interests, whatever you can think of, has the capacity to shift and shift fairly often. It's okay to recognize in yourself the fact that you are a dynamic human being. Just accept it and go with it. Enjoy the dynamic ride. Who we are, and what we are is just a flexible point on a spectrum. Spectra are epic--take rainbows for example. Nothing is better than a good rainbow... except a double rainbow...
Have the most excellent of days.
-Megan
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Fragile
Okay Reader,
Since when do I procrastinate this much, huh? Seriously, I need to stop letting myself put off so much work for so long. You know what? It will get done, and it will be good. I'm sitting in my dorm at 12:30 am, just writing this. T'was a very low key day, and I even got a nap in. It's a shame I have to put off naps until the weekend... a cryin' shame. Anyways, this is what I've been thinking about lately:
I'm not super religious or anything, but I do have a spiritual side, and for lack of a better word, we are miracles. There. I said it. The human race and the human experience is incredibly and profoundly miraculous. Why? Because we survive as individuals, as groups, as cultures, as a race. Not only do we survive, but given the right conditions, we downright thrive!--all while inhabiting very fragile bodies in a very dangerous world. Life is extremely fragile, do you know this?
We have five incredible senses and an even more powerful mind. Now, the reason I say that life is fragile is because everything we are, our personality, our soul, ourselves, are stored in our brains, and if anything happens to that brain, we lose whatever processes and systems happened to be on that part of a very fragile cortical layer of gray matter. Every sensation you experience, every smell, every sound, every taste, every image, and every touch, only exists because some part of your brain tells you you're experiencing it. If this is damaged... you simply don't experience that particular sensation. Fragile.
We live a miraculous existence because our lives are filled with rich, but raw sensations that our mind weaves together to form the tapestry that is the world we know. Simple wavelengths come together in the systems of the eye to produce the beautiful image of a sunset, pressure waves are transformed into electrical signals that are interpreted to be the sounds of a friend playing guitar... and the subtle changes in pressure on our skin cause sensory neurons to fire more rapidly, resulting in us detecting the comforting squeeze of a friend's hand in a moment of distress.
We lead dangerous, perilous, fragile lives, and yet it's a beautiful existence made stable by our interactions with the places and people we choose to be and be with. We live lives rich with experiences, even if that's just waking up to the smell of vanilla. Life is a miracle because somehow, all this randomness and chaos makes sense once filtered through biological systems in our brain. The science behind our senses allows us the wonder of the human experience--to experience humanity. I think that's pretty epic, don't you?
So, Reader. I want you to use your senses. Breathe deep. Look around. Savor that meal. Listen to that music. Feel something. Don't take your senses for granted--just take a moment to soak it all up like the sensory sponge you are.
That's it for now. I hope for you the courage to be brave, be bold, and be beautiful.
-Megan
Since when do I procrastinate this much, huh? Seriously, I need to stop letting myself put off so much work for so long. You know what? It will get done, and it will be good. I'm sitting in my dorm at 12:30 am, just writing this. T'was a very low key day, and I even got a nap in. It's a shame I have to put off naps until the weekend... a cryin' shame. Anyways, this is what I've been thinking about lately:
I'm not super religious or anything, but I do have a spiritual side, and for lack of a better word, we are miracles. There. I said it. The human race and the human experience is incredibly and profoundly miraculous. Why? Because we survive as individuals, as groups, as cultures, as a race. Not only do we survive, but given the right conditions, we downright thrive!--all while inhabiting very fragile bodies in a very dangerous world. Life is extremely fragile, do you know this?
We have five incredible senses and an even more powerful mind. Now, the reason I say that life is fragile is because everything we are, our personality, our soul, ourselves, are stored in our brains, and if anything happens to that brain, we lose whatever processes and systems happened to be on that part of a very fragile cortical layer of gray matter. Every sensation you experience, every smell, every sound, every taste, every image, and every touch, only exists because some part of your brain tells you you're experiencing it. If this is damaged... you simply don't experience that particular sensation. Fragile.
We live a miraculous existence because our lives are filled with rich, but raw sensations that our mind weaves together to form the tapestry that is the world we know. Simple wavelengths come together in the systems of the eye to produce the beautiful image of a sunset, pressure waves are transformed into electrical signals that are interpreted to be the sounds of a friend playing guitar... and the subtle changes in pressure on our skin cause sensory neurons to fire more rapidly, resulting in us detecting the comforting squeeze of a friend's hand in a moment of distress.
We lead dangerous, perilous, fragile lives, and yet it's a beautiful existence made stable by our interactions with the places and people we choose to be and be with. We live lives rich with experiences, even if that's just waking up to the smell of vanilla. Life is a miracle because somehow, all this randomness and chaos makes sense once filtered through biological systems in our brain. The science behind our senses allows us the wonder of the human experience--to experience humanity. I think that's pretty epic, don't you?
So, Reader. I want you to use your senses. Breathe deep. Look around. Savor that meal. Listen to that music. Feel something. Don't take your senses for granted--just take a moment to soak it all up like the sensory sponge you are.
That's it for now. I hope for you the courage to be brave, be bold, and be beautiful.
-Megan
Friday, January 13, 2012
BIG Decisions
Well Reader,
I am currently creating the illusion of being productive by doing this to kill some time before I have my psych class. Ugh. But, today has been better than expected. I am sitting in my peaceful dorm room, possibly making myself a cup of tea, and contemplating how the rest of this Friday the 13th will play out. Rest assured I have tons and tons of work to get done over the weekend... but it's Friday, and we are going to have a good time dang it!
So, today's topic is this: Life changing decisions. In my Sociology class today, we touched on the topic of reciprocity between the individual and their context, in other words, how an individual is incredibly impacted by their society and environment, but also how society and environment can be incredibly influenced by an individual.
Applying this to my own life, I realize that I am in the presence of some people making incredibly epic life changing decisions. I am talking BIG decisions here. These decisions not only affect those making them, but those in contact with them. I mean, life decisions can have both positive and negative outcomes, and sometimes we can't avoid the negative, but we can always choose to see the bright side in adverse circumstances, and there will always always always be a bright side. Have you ever been in close contact with a lot of pessimists? a lot of optimists? Their energy may be annoying at times, but it also spreads. As humans, we tend to assimilate into groups even without trying, and so my point is this:
Optimists tend to have more positive life outcomes, and while they cannot control whether every life changing decision has a positive outcome, they'll probably handle the ones that don't just a little bit better, and so if you surround yourself with optimists, or at the very least, actively see the bright side of things, the ripple effects of other people's decisions will affect you in more positive, or less negative ways respectively.
I am in contact with incredibly epic people making incredibly epic decisions, and we always hear things like "You can't control the cards you're dealt, but you can control how you play them." Well, the people I know are dealt some weird, difficult hands, and yet they are playing them out beautifully. They are taking control and refusing to let society dictate how life ought to be lived, but instead opting to change and influence the circumstances of their own existence. My current existence is pretty standard, but I am in the company of greatness, and I can honestly say I am inspired to take the reigns of my own destiny, even if that's as trivial as deciding what time to set my alarm for.
That's all I got folks. Be excellent. Be epic.
-Megan
I am currently creating the illusion of being productive by doing this to kill some time before I have my psych class. Ugh. But, today has been better than expected. I am sitting in my peaceful dorm room, possibly making myself a cup of tea, and contemplating how the rest of this Friday the 13th will play out. Rest assured I have tons and tons of work to get done over the weekend... but it's Friday, and we are going to have a good time dang it!
So, today's topic is this: Life changing decisions. In my Sociology class today, we touched on the topic of reciprocity between the individual and their context, in other words, how an individual is incredibly impacted by their society and environment, but also how society and environment can be incredibly influenced by an individual.
Applying this to my own life, I realize that I am in the presence of some people making incredibly epic life changing decisions. I am talking BIG decisions here. These decisions not only affect those making them, but those in contact with them. I mean, life decisions can have both positive and negative outcomes, and sometimes we can't avoid the negative, but we can always choose to see the bright side in adverse circumstances, and there will always always always be a bright side. Have you ever been in close contact with a lot of pessimists? a lot of optimists? Their energy may be annoying at times, but it also spreads. As humans, we tend to assimilate into groups even without trying, and so my point is this:
Optimists tend to have more positive life outcomes, and while they cannot control whether every life changing decision has a positive outcome, they'll probably handle the ones that don't just a little bit better, and so if you surround yourself with optimists, or at the very least, actively see the bright side of things, the ripple effects of other people's decisions will affect you in more positive, or less negative ways respectively.
I am in contact with incredibly epic people making incredibly epic decisions, and we always hear things like "You can't control the cards you're dealt, but you can control how you play them." Well, the people I know are dealt some weird, difficult hands, and yet they are playing them out beautifully. They are taking control and refusing to let society dictate how life ought to be lived, but instead opting to change and influence the circumstances of their own existence. My current existence is pretty standard, but I am in the company of greatness, and I can honestly say I am inspired to take the reigns of my own destiny, even if that's as trivial as deciding what time to set my alarm for.
That's all I got folks. Be excellent. Be epic.
-Megan
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Rain, Thought, and Country Music
Reader, I am sitting in my room now at 8:33 am, getting ready to head off to breakfast, and eventually, my sociology class at 10:30. I am surprised I was able to wake up so easily this morning--the excitement of the first day of class perhaps. My goodness is it nice to have routine again!
I don't like country music. I just don't. I don't know if it's the overwhelming twanginess or the fact that it's too idealistic, but it's not my thing. However, for all the flaws I attribute to country music, I gotta say I appreciate its general optimism and acceptance of emotion. You rarely hear a country song in which the singer tries to manipulate their own emotion into something else. The impression I've gotten is that emotions are generally accepted as being what they are and that's it.
Ever notice how thought wrecks everything? Overthinking keeps us awake at night, turns molehills into mountains, and freaks us out in general. Never underestimate the power of the mind. Fortunately, thinking can also bring us out of the chaos it leads us into. What a double-edged sword thought is.
So, you know what's epic? When something you don't generally like goes and does something wonderful. Like thought, tons of things are double-edged swords, but with certain things, it seems as though the sharper side is always prominent. Take rain for example, I'm not a huge fan of rain, but I absolutely LOVE it when it's beautiful, like night time in a city when everything turns into a mirror and every light source is amplified a thousand times over, and the world feels glassy... stunning. It's not just rain, but water (It's snowing right now for your information) but have you ever gone outside right after an ice storm? It's beauty mixed with pain mixed with peace. Poetic in a way.
Sure ice sucks to drive on, but we're the ones who put ourselves in positions to drive. It's not ice's fault it's slippery. My point was, sometimes things you don't like end up surprising you with wonderful little epic moments. I can practically hear the Overture of 1812 being played above the sounds of traffic.
Be well, be excellent, and be epic!
-Megan
I don't like country music. I just don't. I don't know if it's the overwhelming twanginess or the fact that it's too idealistic, but it's not my thing. However, for all the flaws I attribute to country music, I gotta say I appreciate its general optimism and acceptance of emotion. You rarely hear a country song in which the singer tries to manipulate their own emotion into something else. The impression I've gotten is that emotions are generally accepted as being what they are and that's it.
Ever notice how thought wrecks everything? Overthinking keeps us awake at night, turns molehills into mountains, and freaks us out in general. Never underestimate the power of the mind. Fortunately, thinking can also bring us out of the chaos it leads us into. What a double-edged sword thought is.
So, you know what's epic? When something you don't generally like goes and does something wonderful. Like thought, tons of things are double-edged swords, but with certain things, it seems as though the sharper side is always prominent. Take rain for example, I'm not a huge fan of rain, but I absolutely LOVE it when it's beautiful, like night time in a city when everything turns into a mirror and every light source is amplified a thousand times over, and the world feels glassy... stunning. It's not just rain, but water (It's snowing right now for your information) but have you ever gone outside right after an ice storm? It's beauty mixed with pain mixed with peace. Poetic in a way.
Sure ice sucks to drive on, but we're the ones who put ourselves in positions to drive. It's not ice's fault it's slippery. My point was, sometimes things you don't like end up surprising you with wonderful little epic moments. I can practically hear the Overture of 1812 being played above the sounds of traffic.
Be well, be excellent, and be epic!
-Megan
Monday, January 9, 2012
The Art of Communication
Dear Reader,
I am sitting here in my dorm room, sipping a cup of English Breakfast tea that I have now reheated for the third time. I woke up at approximately 5:30, unable to sleep any longer, took a delightful shower, and am now feeling human enough to challenge the day, and what a good one it will be. You see, I just got back to school yesterday and am settling back in, possibly to live a life solitary. I miss my roommate, but alas, life has called her elsewhere.
Let's be honest, we're all communications majors. If not majoring in it, we're minoring in it. I don't care if your transcript says you're pre-med, or Biology, or Engineering, or Psychology, or even Enigmatology, the study of puzzles. (I was recently told that Will Shortz, creator of the New York Times crossword puzzle, majored in this. According to Wikipedia, it's true.) No matter what your declared major, communication is and will be an important part of your life.
Now, let's be honest. As humans, we sometimes suck at communication. Things get misinterpreted or lost in translation, or sometimes we just refuse to put effort into it or ignore the fact that a problem stems from our poor, lacking communication skills. BUT, we still have this incredible ability to transpose feeling into thought and spin thought into written and verbal language. We can write volumes in a photograph, and speak not only sentences, but recite entire epics using only our eyes. We communicate through words, body language, touch, sound, we do all of this communicating, and why? Well, 1. It allows us to survive and 2. We crave it.
When you get down to the nuts, bolts, statistics, and logistics of living in society, it is based on the ability to communicate, to be able to proclaim our existence to others and have them recognize and interpret the implications of that existence.
Now, let's jump back to the present. Us as communication majors. We're all studying and learning the art of communication, be it at age 9 or 90. We learn, we laugh, we love, and we somehow figure out what is okay to say and do around certain people. I have learned to not make lawyer jokes to my cousin who will soon graduate law school. YAY learning! As we go through life learning to better present thoughts, opinions, and facts, we are also learning how to better interpret those same items. In this information age, we are becoming able to more quickly comprehend information as well as with more accuracy. Good thing too, because these days we're dealing with loads of information on a daily basis.
So, what are you waiting for? Go communicate! By itself, communication is not good nor bad, it is only the vehicle with which information is transferred. But, if you can better transfer that information, I can almost guarantee you'll see some positive results, even if that's just time saved from not having to dance around a subject. I'm just thankful we're able to connect with each other on so many levels.
Go be epic and excellent!
-Megan
I am sitting here in my dorm room, sipping a cup of English Breakfast tea that I have now reheated for the third time. I woke up at approximately 5:30, unable to sleep any longer, took a delightful shower, and am now feeling human enough to challenge the day, and what a good one it will be. You see, I just got back to school yesterday and am settling back in, possibly to live a life solitary. I miss my roommate, but alas, life has called her elsewhere.
Let's be honest, we're all communications majors. If not majoring in it, we're minoring in it. I don't care if your transcript says you're pre-med, or Biology, or Engineering, or Psychology, or even Enigmatology, the study of puzzles. (I was recently told that Will Shortz, creator of the New York Times crossword puzzle, majored in this. According to Wikipedia, it's true.) No matter what your declared major, communication is and will be an important part of your life.
Now, let's be honest. As humans, we sometimes suck at communication. Things get misinterpreted or lost in translation, or sometimes we just refuse to put effort into it or ignore the fact that a problem stems from our poor, lacking communication skills. BUT, we still have this incredible ability to transpose feeling into thought and spin thought into written and verbal language. We can write volumes in a photograph, and speak not only sentences, but recite entire epics using only our eyes. We communicate through words, body language, touch, sound, we do all of this communicating, and why? Well, 1. It allows us to survive and 2. We crave it.
When you get down to the nuts, bolts, statistics, and logistics of living in society, it is based on the ability to communicate, to be able to proclaim our existence to others and have them recognize and interpret the implications of that existence.
Now, let's jump back to the present. Us as communication majors. We're all studying and learning the art of communication, be it at age 9 or 90. We learn, we laugh, we love, and we somehow figure out what is okay to say and do around certain people. I have learned to not make lawyer jokes to my cousin who will soon graduate law school. YAY learning! As we go through life learning to better present thoughts, opinions, and facts, we are also learning how to better interpret those same items. In this information age, we are becoming able to more quickly comprehend information as well as with more accuracy. Good thing too, because these days we're dealing with loads of information on a daily basis.
So, what are you waiting for? Go communicate! By itself, communication is not good nor bad, it is only the vehicle with which information is transferred. But, if you can better transfer that information, I can almost guarantee you'll see some positive results, even if that's just time saved from not having to dance around a subject. I'm just thankful we're able to connect with each other on so many levels.
Go be epic and excellent!
-Megan
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