By the way, that title comes from the song "Finding Me" by Vertical Horizon.
Reader, I just got done eating a plate full of Eggo chocolate chip waffles. It reminded me of childhood and also of those times when my mom would dig out the actual waffle maker and make them from scratch. That's been the entire week for me--throwbacks to childhood. I drank 7up and ate popsicles yesterday.
I've spent the last few days struggling about what to write for this post. Sure I could talk about what it feels like to be going back to campus in two days, but I won't. The only thing I'll say is this: If last year felt like a timid dipping in of the toes into college life, then this year feels like a running plunge, complete with student activism and new opportunities. Oh, and the water doesn't even feel cold. Instead, I'm going to talk about something else and something probably more broad.
Today marks the 3rd anniversary of the death of my aunt Mary, and I will always be thankful for her influence on my life, which shows itself now more than ever. That's true with all the aunts on my dad's side. I see distinct aspects of myself in each of them as I get older, but it comes not from intentional shaping on their part...
I don't exactly know how to phrase everything, but everyone needs the freedom to find their own way--that's not to undervalue good, strong guidance and influence, but that guidance should open doors to all sorts of life experiences instead of closing some off. Maybe I'm naive in thinking that if people are not forced down a certain path and instead are left to their own devices, they will naturally gravitate towards choices that lead to their own brand of a happy and fulfilling life.
I'm glad I feel like the latter is becoming more and more my reality. Certain influences are causing me to pursue happiness in my own way, not because they're consciously trying to, but because they're leading or have led by wonderful example and a sort of hands off approach. You don't have to tell someone who to be, you just have to be someone they admire to make a difference in their life.
All of it has reinforced the idea in me that I'm going to be just fine if I'm allowed to live at my own pace and make my own decisions.
Peace, be well, be epic, and I'll probably be back to campus the next time you hear from me.
-Megan
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
"Do you believe that time heals all wounds?"
Dear Reader, that title comes from one of my favorite songs by Skillet titled The Older I Get, and since it just popped into my head and this post will be mostly about time, I figured it was a good fit. So, I'm sipping a Sunkist pop while munching on cucumbers and ranch. My taste buds are happy and life is good. I can't remember the last time I had a Sunkist--I looked at the can and it says, "Celebrate 20 years of dreams" I smiled at how fitting it seemed since I'm still adjusting to that whole "being 20" thing, and to my knowledge, have had an awful lot of dreams in that time. Still do.
Now to that whole "time" thing. I guess I've never really met anyone who was fully content with the pace at which time changes things. Sure, hindsight is 20/20, and eventually we get to a point where we see distinct differences between who we are and who we were, but waiting to get there isn't always easy.
I used to hate the saying "Time heals all wounds." absolutely hate it. I was much more in the camp of "Time forms a scab capable of being ripped open at any moment. Then some pretty ugly scar tissue forms which is usually very painful in its own way." I guess healing took place with both but "time heals all wounds" seemed far too sugar coated and simplistic for the cynical little me. Now that I'm older, I can understand the reasoning behind the phrase a little more. It's just hard to wait for time to do its job, especially when no one will ever know how much time is necessary.
For the record, I still find the phrase a little too simplistic. I think "time" has to be seen as an umbrella term in this case which encompasses a heck of a lot more than just the ticking of a clock. Time needs a little bit of help sometimes, whether that's the right person showing up at the right time, a lucky break, an animal--anything. Time exposes you to agents of change and agents of healing, and even though there might be a lot of pain involved in waiting for that healing, it will come. And you'll be able to feel it when it finally does--even if it took a lot longer than you were hoping or expecting.
Be epic, be well, and enjoy the last few days of summer.
-Megan
Now to that whole "time" thing. I guess I've never really met anyone who was fully content with the pace at which time changes things. Sure, hindsight is 20/20, and eventually we get to a point where we see distinct differences between who we are and who we were, but waiting to get there isn't always easy.
I used to hate the saying "Time heals all wounds." absolutely hate it. I was much more in the camp of "Time forms a scab capable of being ripped open at any moment. Then some pretty ugly scar tissue forms which is usually very painful in its own way." I guess healing took place with both but "time heals all wounds" seemed far too sugar coated and simplistic for the cynical little me. Now that I'm older, I can understand the reasoning behind the phrase a little more. It's just hard to wait for time to do its job, especially when no one will ever know how much time is necessary.
For the record, I still find the phrase a little too simplistic. I think "time" has to be seen as an umbrella term in this case which encompasses a heck of a lot more than just the ticking of a clock. Time needs a little bit of help sometimes, whether that's the right person showing up at the right time, a lucky break, an animal--anything. Time exposes you to agents of change and agents of healing, and even though there might be a lot of pain involved in waiting for that healing, it will come. And you'll be able to feel it when it finally does--even if it took a lot longer than you were hoping or expecting.
Be epic, be well, and enjoy the last few days of summer.
-Megan
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Wanderlust
Good afternoon Reader, I hope you've had a nice Thursday so far. I've always liked Thursdays--I spent about two hours almost every Thursday for 8 years as a martial arts student and assistant instructor. I just think Thursdays are good in general.
I have worn the self-imposed mental label of malcontent for a very long time now. I am not so sure I was right when I gave myself the label, but so far, this summer has involved long stretches of discontented solitude punctuated by periods of absolutely lovely chaos. Ultmately, it will go down as the summer of travel and wanderlust. Wanderlust, by the way, is a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about. I've seen and understood the phenomenon in other people, but this is the first time I remember it being so tangible in myself.
I rarely travel. I've been lucky enough to travel all over Minnesota, but my extended family is so centralized here that we have little reason to travel out of state other than for traveling's sake alone--which we never do. (Oh, and I actually despise living out of a suitcase, but have discovered it's a non-issue if you're with the right people.) My recent adventures to Iowa for MBLGTACC '12 and all over the south for the National Youth Gathering coupled with the fact that I've been glued to the Olympics has sparked in me wanderlust like no other. Not to mention that the National Youth Gathering will be in Detroit in 2015--I hope to go if I am able, and MBLGTACC '13 is in Lansing, Michigan. I've been considering forming my second semester schedule in a way that makes it most convenient for me. :P
I leave in two days for another adventure, this time it's a week long semi-working vacation as I tag along to a camp in the northern part of North Dakota. I need to decide whether or not I want to work there next summer, and my parents have taken that as meaning I'd be moving out once and for all. A very rational conclusion, but intimidating all the same.
All this recent pounding of pavement has served to define my traveling likes and dislikes. I've decided I much prefer travel by road vs. air. Planes are fun, but it's far too Point A and Point B for me. It really negates that all-important line segment in the middle. It cuts down on the potential of the journey. Plus I like to drive. :P When I think about it, the superficial demarcation lines on a map serve as a mental barrier. To me, Louisiana felt worlds and worlds away, but as I was on the roads, I realized that while I was seeing landscapes and cultures shift, I was never seeing any sort of severing of a connection. There is no giant line in the sand separating us completely. The only real barrier I now feel between me and anywhere else, is time. I've heard it's a Midwestern thing to measure distance in time. I'm two and half hours from the Fargo-Moorhead area, The Twin Cities are about an hour away from where I live, etc. I feel like the means to go somewhere is rarely what holds us back--the real problem involves time. Give me enough time and I'll be able to get anywhere... And I guess from now on I'll be trying to listen to the part of me asking for that time.
Wanderlust or not, this influx of travel has been epic and I hope it continues.
Be well and be lovely,
Megan
I have worn the self-imposed mental label of malcontent for a very long time now. I am not so sure I was right when I gave myself the label, but so far, this summer has involved long stretches of discontented solitude punctuated by periods of absolutely lovely chaos. Ultmately, it will go down as the summer of travel and wanderlust. Wanderlust, by the way, is a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about. I've seen and understood the phenomenon in other people, but this is the first time I remember it being so tangible in myself.
I rarely travel. I've been lucky enough to travel all over Minnesota, but my extended family is so centralized here that we have little reason to travel out of state other than for traveling's sake alone--which we never do. (Oh, and I actually despise living out of a suitcase, but have discovered it's a non-issue if you're with the right people.) My recent adventures to Iowa for MBLGTACC '12 and all over the south for the National Youth Gathering coupled with the fact that I've been glued to the Olympics has sparked in me wanderlust like no other. Not to mention that the National Youth Gathering will be in Detroit in 2015--I hope to go if I am able, and MBLGTACC '13 is in Lansing, Michigan. I've been considering forming my second semester schedule in a way that makes it most convenient for me. :P
I leave in two days for another adventure, this time it's a week long semi-working vacation as I tag along to a camp in the northern part of North Dakota. I need to decide whether or not I want to work there next summer, and my parents have taken that as meaning I'd be moving out once and for all. A very rational conclusion, but intimidating all the same.
All this recent pounding of pavement has served to define my traveling likes and dislikes. I've decided I much prefer travel by road vs. air. Planes are fun, but it's far too Point A and Point B for me. It really negates that all-important line segment in the middle. It cuts down on the potential of the journey. Plus I like to drive. :P When I think about it, the superficial demarcation lines on a map serve as a mental barrier. To me, Louisiana felt worlds and worlds away, but as I was on the roads, I realized that while I was seeing landscapes and cultures shift, I was never seeing any sort of severing of a connection. There is no giant line in the sand separating us completely. The only real barrier I now feel between me and anywhere else, is time. I've heard it's a Midwestern thing to measure distance in time. I'm two and half hours from the Fargo-Moorhead area, The Twin Cities are about an hour away from where I live, etc. I feel like the means to go somewhere is rarely what holds us back--the real problem involves time. Give me enough time and I'll be able to get anywhere... And I guess from now on I'll be trying to listen to the part of me asking for that time.
Wanderlust or not, this influx of travel has been epic and I hope it continues.
Be well and be lovely,
Megan
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Touchy Subject Matter
Good morning Reader! I hope your last two weeks have been whatever you needed them to be. Mine were adventurous to say the least. Maybe I'll blog about it later, but if you want to know something, just ask me personally. It's difficult to find a place to start or pick out the most important parts and lay them out in a blog post--but know that I'm always open for questions of any kind.
Up until this point, My Epic Life has involved a lot of sugar-coated optimism, and sometimes that's what a blog needs to be. That's kind of where and why this particular blog originated. But, there are a lot more wondrous things out there that don't necessarily involve wide eyed smiles and a feeling of glee. I'll explain more later.
I equate change and its effects to swallowing pills. Sometimes it's too much at one time to be comfortable, sometimes it's barely noticeable, other times you fight it tooth and nail, and sometimes you're so eager for the effects that you take whatever you can get your hands on and go overboard. Change can be everything and nothing--that is it can be one of four things. 1. Your situations can change and you can stay the same. 2. Your situation can change and you can change along with it. 3. Your situation can stay the same and you choose to change anyways. 4. Nothing changes.
So if you knew me, really knew me, maybe you'd know what I was studying in school, some of the things I've been involved in, how I lean politically etc. If I brought up religion, and you were under the impression I was non-religious, I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest. My religious beliefs tend to stay in the personal realm. I don't broadcast anything, and if it does come up in anything other than an intellectually based conversation, it's in a very specific context like a poem or something like that.
If you prompted me to talk about religion, especially organized religion, you might see me cringe slightly. You might hear me talk about the crusades, Spanish Inquisition, canonical bible, or other historical facts and figures. You might hear me mention that people report feeling the presence of God during seizures originating in the temporal lobe. You might hear me talk about taking a class on the rationality of faith. With deeper probing, you might hear me talk about my experiences involving the abuses of religious authority in my own hometown or in my own church. I might tell you about how much pain and suffering I know religious teachings to have caused other people, some very close to me.
Even deeper probing might cause me to joke a little bit about how hearing Green Day for the first time was a religious experience. Or, I might get serious and tell you what I pray about, or I might mention situations involving things like coyotes, baby bunnies, tree frogs, songs on the radio, and a book by Brent Runyon, that I can't always easily explain. I might even tell you about my atheist, agnostic, or non-mainstream religious friends who have demonstrated more love and respect towards Christians than Christians have ever shown in return--or I might talk about how faith has let my grandmother continue to smile despite burying three children, her husband, and I don't know how many siblings.
Hopefully you kind of get a sense of how I go about religion. It's a live and let live situation where I don't bother you and you don't bother me on matters of personal belief. Given all of that, my adventure to the 2012 ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America) National Youth Gathering, held in New Orleans, might seem like a curve ball, and frankly, it was. However, if there exists some sort of mechanism that balances out the earth and individual experience, then my adventure contained traces of that mechanism. At the very least, it has initiated a slight shift in opinion, or at least a recognition that there exists people and organizations lying in direct contrast to my own previous experiences.
I could now tell you about being soaking wet and singing in the middle of a raging storm on the streets of NOLA with 38 of my adopted relatives. I could tell you about hearing heavily tattooed pastor, Nadia Bolz-Weber speak about the nature of God. I could tell you about hearing Nobel Peace Prize Laureate, Leymah Gbowee, speak about hope. I could tell you about hearing Shane Claiborne, who was arrested for feeding the homeless of Philadelphia, speak about radical love. I could tell you what it's like to ride through the 9th ward and lower 9th ward on a silent coach bus during the middle of a flash flood, and still see the vivid scars of Hurricane Katrina present on the landscape. As I have said before and will say again, I remain cautiously optimistic in regards to my experiences, but I could tell you all sorts of things now involving religion and religious belief that I don't think I could have told you before, nor would I have necessarily believed if I wasn't experiencing it firsthand--and that is a surprisingly sweet pill to swallow.
Peace. Be well.
-Megan
Up until this point, My Epic Life has involved a lot of sugar-coated optimism, and sometimes that's what a blog needs to be. That's kind of where and why this particular blog originated. But, there are a lot more wondrous things out there that don't necessarily involve wide eyed smiles and a feeling of glee. I'll explain more later.
I equate change and its effects to swallowing pills. Sometimes it's too much at one time to be comfortable, sometimes it's barely noticeable, other times you fight it tooth and nail, and sometimes you're so eager for the effects that you take whatever you can get your hands on and go overboard. Change can be everything and nothing--that is it can be one of four things. 1. Your situations can change and you can stay the same. 2. Your situation can change and you can change along with it. 3. Your situation can stay the same and you choose to change anyways. 4. Nothing changes.
So if you knew me, really knew me, maybe you'd know what I was studying in school, some of the things I've been involved in, how I lean politically etc. If I brought up religion, and you were under the impression I was non-religious, I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest. My religious beliefs tend to stay in the personal realm. I don't broadcast anything, and if it does come up in anything other than an intellectually based conversation, it's in a very specific context like a poem or something like that.
If you prompted me to talk about religion, especially organized religion, you might see me cringe slightly. You might hear me talk about the crusades, Spanish Inquisition, canonical bible, or other historical facts and figures. You might hear me mention that people report feeling the presence of God during seizures originating in the temporal lobe. You might hear me talk about taking a class on the rationality of faith. With deeper probing, you might hear me talk about my experiences involving the abuses of religious authority in my own hometown or in my own church. I might tell you about how much pain and suffering I know religious teachings to have caused other people, some very close to me.
Even deeper probing might cause me to joke a little bit about how hearing Green Day for the first time was a religious experience. Or, I might get serious and tell you what I pray about, or I might mention situations involving things like coyotes, baby bunnies, tree frogs, songs on the radio, and a book by Brent Runyon, that I can't always easily explain. I might even tell you about my atheist, agnostic, or non-mainstream religious friends who have demonstrated more love and respect towards Christians than Christians have ever shown in return--or I might talk about how faith has let my grandmother continue to smile despite burying three children, her husband, and I don't know how many siblings.
Hopefully you kind of get a sense of how I go about religion. It's a live and let live situation where I don't bother you and you don't bother me on matters of personal belief. Given all of that, my adventure to the 2012 ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America) National Youth Gathering, held in New Orleans, might seem like a curve ball, and frankly, it was. However, if there exists some sort of mechanism that balances out the earth and individual experience, then my adventure contained traces of that mechanism. At the very least, it has initiated a slight shift in opinion, or at least a recognition that there exists people and organizations lying in direct contrast to my own previous experiences.
I could now tell you about being soaking wet and singing in the middle of a raging storm on the streets of NOLA with 38 of my adopted relatives. I could tell you about hearing heavily tattooed pastor, Nadia Bolz-Weber speak about the nature of God. I could tell you about hearing Nobel Peace Prize Laureate, Leymah Gbowee, speak about hope. I could tell you about hearing Shane Claiborne, who was arrested for feeding the homeless of Philadelphia, speak about radical love. I could tell you what it's like to ride through the 9th ward and lower 9th ward on a silent coach bus during the middle of a flash flood, and still see the vivid scars of Hurricane Katrina present on the landscape. As I have said before and will say again, I remain cautiously optimistic in regards to my experiences, but I could tell you all sorts of things now involving religion and religious belief that I don't think I could have told you before, nor would I have necessarily believed if I wasn't experiencing it firsthand--and that is a surprisingly sweet pill to swallow.
Peace. Be well.
-Megan
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
How to be surprised!
This is a copy of my most recent post on Dorm Room 718.
1. Believe everything people tell you. There's no way they're not telling you the whole truth.
2. Underestimate your friends.
3. Underestimate your parents.
4. Refrain from texting people because you don't want to impose. It will give them time to drive to your town.
5. Tell everyone where you're going and the exact time you leave. It will give them time to call your parents.
In case you didn't hear--but you probably did--I had quite the birthday. First things first, birthdays are not a big thing in my family. You get a cake if you're lucky. We'll take you out to your favorite restaurant eventually, but they've never been super celebrated. For the record, it's not that we never celebrate, we just do it when it's convenient. I've always celebrated my birthday on July 3rd when my family gets together because the church and town throws a party. Three of us grandkids have birthdays in July so it's nice and convenient. Plus there's a fireworks show. Sometimes I'll have a bonfire in late July or early August if I'm feeling motivated.
I did not expect anything different this year. I really didn't. Every time Nicole would mention my birthday, I told her I wasn't planning anything. She would always get upset and the conversation would end with something like:
Nicole: You're so frustrating. You're driving me crazy.
Me: I'm sorry, I told you I might do something in August.
So the night before my birthday, I was feeling a little weird about turning 20. It's a scary number, especially when you feel like you should be taller or just feel older. I was talking to Nicole when Melissa asked me to come over and watch a movie. I asked Nicole if I should go and she told me I should. Mind you, this was 11:45 at night. I knew Nicole had something to do with it, I thought she put Melissa up to it. I decided to go to get my mind off things and when I walked downstairs, there was a figure in a hoodie just chilling on the couch. I thought it was Melissa's sister, until the figure started laughing. Helloooo Nicole. Surprise #1. At that point I thought that was the extent of the surprise. I had no reason to believe anything else. I was in complete and utter shock. For weeks I had heard her griping about how she was working that weekend. I smiled for the rest of the night--until I went to bed at 4 am.
Melissa and Nicole wanted to take me out for lunch the next day, but I declined, saying I had a grad party to go to. Nicole told me the grad party started at 2...at which point I knew this was a lot deeper than I thought and that my parents knew about this. Surprise #2. So they took me out to lunch the next day and we made plans to hook up with Melissa after she got off work at 9. Meanwhile, Nicole and I headed to that grad party. After that, we went to my place, rented a movie, and I started to wind down for what I thought would be a relaxing night. I decided to check the mail, at which point Nicole told me she told people to write letters to me. Surprise #3.
We took some time to chill before watching the film when all of a sudden my doorbell rang. Nicole ran to go get it and at THAT point, I knew I was in for much, much more. Surprise #4. My friends started showing up and I was treated to my first ever surprise party, which included having packing peanuts poured on me multiple times and one heck of a cake. My parents knew about everything. Everything.
I had no reason to suspect anything. No one made me suspect anything and even if there were hints, I never picked up on them. Nicole has never been dishonest and this has dealt a serious blow to my trust! :P Maybe this is what I get for befriending people with acting experience? After reluctantly kicking people out because we both had horribly early mornings, we went to bed. As I was practically in tears out of pure happiness and awe that someone had put in so much time and effort to throw me a party, Nicole said, "I told you, I just like birthdays." Go figure.
And that is how to let someone surprise you. Needless to say, Melissa and Nicole turned turning 20 into an event I won't soon forget. My life is truly epic.
With love and hugs,
Megan
1. Believe everything people tell you. There's no way they're not telling you the whole truth.
2. Underestimate your friends.
3. Underestimate your parents.
4. Refrain from texting people because you don't want to impose. It will give them time to drive to your town.
5. Tell everyone where you're going and the exact time you leave. It will give them time to call your parents.
In case you didn't hear--but you probably did--I had quite the birthday. First things first, birthdays are not a big thing in my family. You get a cake if you're lucky. We'll take you out to your favorite restaurant eventually, but they've never been super celebrated. For the record, it's not that we never celebrate, we just do it when it's convenient. I've always celebrated my birthday on July 3rd when my family gets together because the church and town throws a party. Three of us grandkids have birthdays in July so it's nice and convenient. Plus there's a fireworks show. Sometimes I'll have a bonfire in late July or early August if I'm feeling motivated.
I did not expect anything different this year. I really didn't. Every time Nicole would mention my birthday, I told her I wasn't planning anything. She would always get upset and the conversation would end with something like:
Nicole: You're so frustrating. You're driving me crazy.
Me: I'm sorry, I told you I might do something in August.
So the night before my birthday, I was feeling a little weird about turning 20. It's a scary number, especially when you feel like you should be taller or just feel older. I was talking to Nicole when Melissa asked me to come over and watch a movie. I asked Nicole if I should go and she told me I should. Mind you, this was 11:45 at night. I knew Nicole had something to do with it, I thought she put Melissa up to it. I decided to go to get my mind off things and when I walked downstairs, there was a figure in a hoodie just chilling on the couch. I thought it was Melissa's sister, until the figure started laughing. Helloooo Nicole. Surprise #1. At that point I thought that was the extent of the surprise. I had no reason to believe anything else. I was in complete and utter shock. For weeks I had heard her griping about how she was working that weekend. I smiled for the rest of the night--until I went to bed at 4 am.
Melissa and Nicole wanted to take me out for lunch the next day, but I declined, saying I had a grad party to go to. Nicole told me the grad party started at 2...at which point I knew this was a lot deeper than I thought and that my parents knew about this. Surprise #2. So they took me out to lunch the next day and we made plans to hook up with Melissa after she got off work at 9. Meanwhile, Nicole and I headed to that grad party. After that, we went to my place, rented a movie, and I started to wind down for what I thought would be a relaxing night. I decided to check the mail, at which point Nicole told me she told people to write letters to me. Surprise #3.
We took some time to chill before watching the film when all of a sudden my doorbell rang. Nicole ran to go get it and at THAT point, I knew I was in for much, much more. Surprise #4. My friends started showing up and I was treated to my first ever surprise party, which included having packing peanuts poured on me multiple times and one heck of a cake. My parents knew about everything. Everything.
I had no reason to suspect anything. No one made me suspect anything and even if there were hints, I never picked up on them. Nicole has never been dishonest and this has dealt a serious blow to my trust! :P Maybe this is what I get for befriending people with acting experience? After reluctantly kicking people out because we both had horribly early mornings, we went to bed. As I was practically in tears out of pure happiness and awe that someone had put in so much time and effort to throw me a party, Nicole said, "I told you, I just like birthdays." Go figure.
And that is how to let someone surprise you. Needless to say, Melissa and Nicole turned turning 20 into an event I won't soon forget. My life is truly epic.
With love and hugs,
Megan
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Grad Parties
I sincerely hope your summer is eventful and you're staying cool in the heat wave. I hear it's supposed to last all week. Oh well, it's a taste of what the New Orleans trip might be like. ;) Two weeks! I can't contain myself much longer.
Summertime for us freshman coming back home and for the graduating high school seniors means one thing: Grad parties. In my area, they last well into July if not all summer. I hear that's a little bit strange but it's how we do. Last weekend I went to parties for my friends Sabrina, and Taylor. This weekend I went to the party for my friend Kendra (who is a future Cobber!) and next week I'll go to a party for my cousin,William.
Grad parties are epic for several reasons. You've got the food, everything from taco bars to pulled pork sandwiches, all sorts of salads, and ice cream! Oh, and anyone with a chocolate fountain gets some major points from me. Grad parties have been a wonderful opportunity for me to see friends who weren't in my graduating class, and to talk a bit about college and answer any questions. It's been lovely, but coming back and going to all these grad parties has made one thing painfully evident... how much of a difference a year makes.
We, meaning my graduating class and I, are in a completely and totally different phase of life than just a year ago. I don't necessarily believe it's an issue of drifting apart, but everyone is off doing their own thing, living their own lives. I expected to see certain people, and I didn't. In some ways the grad party ushers in this phase of consciously removing yourself from a group state of mind and basing your decisions on yourself and what you need.
I always say that leaving my hometown for college was one of the best decisions I ever made. I will always stand by that statement, because I didn't compromise my happiness for ease. To their credit, I believe all my graduating friends have understood the importance of doing what's right for them and have acted accordingly. I'm proud of all of them. I think the summer before you leave for college is the best and worst possible. You do whatever you can to have as much fun as possible, but the impending separation is too tangible to ignore.
It may be painful, but it can also be exciting and wonderful at the same time. I guess a lot of changes in life are like that...
Be well, stay cool.
All my love,
Megan
Summertime for us freshman coming back home and for the graduating high school seniors means one thing: Grad parties. In my area, they last well into July if not all summer. I hear that's a little bit strange but it's how we do. Last weekend I went to parties for my friends Sabrina, and Taylor. This weekend I went to the party for my friend Kendra (who is a future Cobber!) and next week I'll go to a party for my cousin,William.
Grad parties are epic for several reasons. You've got the food, everything from taco bars to pulled pork sandwiches, all sorts of salads, and ice cream! Oh, and anyone with a chocolate fountain gets some major points from me. Grad parties have been a wonderful opportunity for me to see friends who weren't in my graduating class, and to talk a bit about college and answer any questions. It's been lovely, but coming back and going to all these grad parties has made one thing painfully evident... how much of a difference a year makes.
We, meaning my graduating class and I, are in a completely and totally different phase of life than just a year ago. I don't necessarily believe it's an issue of drifting apart, but everyone is off doing their own thing, living their own lives. I expected to see certain people, and I didn't. In some ways the grad party ushers in this phase of consciously removing yourself from a group state of mind and basing your decisions on yourself and what you need.
I always say that leaving my hometown for college was one of the best decisions I ever made. I will always stand by that statement, because I didn't compromise my happiness for ease. To their credit, I believe all my graduating friends have understood the importance of doing what's right for them and have acted accordingly. I'm proud of all of them. I think the summer before you leave for college is the best and worst possible. You do whatever you can to have as much fun as possible, but the impending separation is too tangible to ignore.
It may be painful, but it can also be exciting and wonderful at the same time. I guess a lot of changes in life are like that...
Be well, stay cool.
All my love,
Megan
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
When Life Gives You Lemons...
Woah Readers, woah. I know I haven't blogged since the last days of college, and I know it's been FOREVER, (literally it has been over a month) but I needed some time to relax and not blog and the time has also let the epicness accumulate so there's more excitement for you to come back to when I finally decided enough was enough. Here we are, June 12th, and My Epic Life is officially off hiatus.
You know the saying, "When life gives you lemons make lemonade" right? Who doesn't know that saying? Long story short, I take it to mean something like, "When life gives you an opportunity, take it and do something good with it." Well, about three weeks ago, life gave me lemons. Here's the story:
So I had been going to church with Nicole (the mastermind behind Dorm Room 718) almost every Sunday ever since the beginning of the school year. I think the first time I went was in October? Anyways, I got to know people there and soon I had a church family. I didn't really see that coming, but I figured I would just go with whatever happened.
Throughout the entire year I kept hearing about this July trip to New Orleans for the ELCA National Youth Gathering and thought, "Hey cool, I can't wait to hear about it in the fall when I see people again." Now here's where the lemons come in. On May 23rd, Nicole told me they had someone drop out and people wanted to know if I would consider filling the slot as an adult leader. *CUE FREAKOUT*
After losing WAY too much sleep over it, I said yes on June 5th and here I am, trying to mentally and physically prepare for an intense 11 day trip in July. It all feels a bit surreal, like I never imagined I would be doing something like this or taking such an opportunity despite the financial strain. At the expense of my dignity, I will use the acronym YOLO just this one time.
I'm feeling overwhelmed... this is like, SO MANY BUCKET LIST ITEMS BEING CROSSED OFF AT ONCE! Here are some of the things I'm excited for:
1. I get to lead amazing kids and hopefully be the most epic leader with the most epic discussions ever. If I remove my playful side for a second, it means I get to do my best to help them learn from each other, learn from themselves, and learn from me. As an added bonus, I get to learn from them as well.
2. I might get to see my old roommate who lives in Omaha, NE
3. Seeing Switchfoot in concert and all the events at the Superdome in NO.
4. Getting to see the cities of St. Louis, Memphis, New Orleans, and Kansas City, and see states new to me which include the following: Nebraska, Kansas (if we drive through it), Missouri, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, and Arkansas.
4. Just plain traveling and all the shenanigans that'll be happening. Oh, and did I mention I get to go to the Civil Rights Museum, French Quarter, Beale Steet, and go on a swamp tour? EPIC!!!
As you can see, my life has taken a turn for the even more epic. I'm sure more blog entries about NOLA are to follow. I'm so excited, and suuuper nervous at the same time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go pinch myself repeatedly.
I send ALL the love! Be epic and be well.
-Megan
You know the saying, "When life gives you lemons make lemonade" right? Who doesn't know that saying? Long story short, I take it to mean something like, "When life gives you an opportunity, take it and do something good with it." Well, about three weeks ago, life gave me lemons. Here's the story:
So I had been going to church with Nicole (the mastermind behind Dorm Room 718) almost every Sunday ever since the beginning of the school year. I think the first time I went was in October? Anyways, I got to know people there and soon I had a church family. I didn't really see that coming, but I figured I would just go with whatever happened.
Throughout the entire year I kept hearing about this July trip to New Orleans for the ELCA National Youth Gathering and thought, "Hey cool, I can't wait to hear about it in the fall when I see people again." Now here's where the lemons come in. On May 23rd, Nicole told me they had someone drop out and people wanted to know if I would consider filling the slot as an adult leader. *CUE FREAKOUT*
After losing WAY too much sleep over it, I said yes on June 5th and here I am, trying to mentally and physically prepare for an intense 11 day trip in July. It all feels a bit surreal, like I never imagined I would be doing something like this or taking such an opportunity despite the financial strain. At the expense of my dignity, I will use the acronym YOLO just this one time.
I'm feeling overwhelmed... this is like, SO MANY BUCKET LIST ITEMS BEING CROSSED OFF AT ONCE! Here are some of the things I'm excited for:
1. I get to lead amazing kids and hopefully be the most epic leader with the most epic discussions ever. If I remove my playful side for a second, it means I get to do my best to help them learn from each other, learn from themselves, and learn from me. As an added bonus, I get to learn from them as well.
2. I might get to see my old roommate who lives in Omaha, NE
3. Seeing Switchfoot in concert and all the events at the Superdome in NO.
4. Getting to see the cities of St. Louis, Memphis, New Orleans, and Kansas City, and see states new to me which include the following: Nebraska, Kansas (if we drive through it), Missouri, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, and Arkansas.
4. Just plain traveling and all the shenanigans that'll be happening. Oh, and did I mention I get to go to the Civil Rights Museum, French Quarter, Beale Steet, and go on a swamp tour? EPIC!!!
As you can see, my life has taken a turn for the even more epic. I'm sure more blog entries about NOLA are to follow. I'm so excited, and suuuper nervous at the same time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go pinch myself repeatedly.
I send ALL the love! Be epic and be well.
-Megan
Monday, April 30, 2012
A Good Kind of Pain
Reader, I'm procrastinating on a philosophy take-home final that I've discovered will take me forever. Not joking. 6 hardcore essay questions worth 50 points each. It counts for 25% of my class grade. I wish that was all I had to worry about, but unfortunately I have a Sociology exam and Cognitive Psych final to worry about before I make my journey home on Saturday.
I've been dealing with a bit of pain all day. I slept fine, and didn't get too bruised up from taking down my loft and putting the bunk back up--no this isn't anything like that. This is heartache, complete and utter heartache. With how busy we've been over the last three weeks, there's been no time to simply let the facts sink in. This is all coming to a sudden and abrupt end whether we feel ready for it or not, and believe me, I don't feel ready for it. At all. Crap... here come the teary eyes.
As much as this hurts, I'm so glad it does. I sometimes disagree with the old cliché "No pain, no gain" but this is a good pain, such a good pain. My heart is aching in the most wonderful way because it means I don't want to leave, that I have found a home here. It means that all of this, and I mean ALL of this feels right. I ache because of memories, because I won't laugh until I cry nearly as often. Usually, pain means something is wrong, and in this case it means that something right is coming to an end. It's perhaps, the absence of what is right.
There are horror stories out there where individuals experience maladaptive pain reception/response and their lives are a constant struggle of self-awareness to figure out if anything is wrong. Parents of these individuals often say they'd give anything for their child to feel pain. Like I said, this pain means something good is changing, and that's not to say summer will be bad, but here has become home and leaving home is always so bittersweet...
It's like, do you ever feel like the pieces are starting to fall into place, even if you can't quite tell what the end result will be? That's how I feel. I'm practically giddy with the feeling that we're hurling towards something good. I just don't know what it'll be yet. All I know is that I get that feeling here. I've never laughed so hard for so long, nor have I felt such a sense of solidarity and belonging like I do in certain situations being here has allowed me to experience.
As I type this, there's a rabbit sitting 3 feet outside my window... it's munching on the most tender dandelions, but it's chewing well over a mile a minute and often freezes. I just want it to relax. I want it to slow down and take a look around and appreciate this moment, to know that it's all going to be okay. The trees on campus are in full bloom and the scent is breathtaking, literal in more ways than one, but the allergies are totally worth the beauty.
Even though it is finals week and I'm procrastinating on the philosophy final, life is good. This pain is good. Ripping apart the web that has formed here is good, because like muscles, these connections only grow stronger by being shredded and allowed to repair. Time will ease the pain to be sure, but I can't wait for next year.
Good things come to an end. Luckily for us this isn't the end, just a long, long rest.
This song feels like an accurate summary of my life in this very moment, both the joy of returning home to see my one family, both blood related and otherwise, as well as the pain of leaving my family here. I'll miss them, and you can bet I'll be playing this song in the weeks before school starts up again. It's also the first song on Concordia's Beat, a CD that features student performers. Personally the version on the CD is better. :P
Love life, be brave, understand that pain is not forever, nor is it always a bad thing.
-Megan
I've been dealing with a bit of pain all day. I slept fine, and didn't get too bruised up from taking down my loft and putting the bunk back up--no this isn't anything like that. This is heartache, complete and utter heartache. With how busy we've been over the last three weeks, there's been no time to simply let the facts sink in. This is all coming to a sudden and abrupt end whether we feel ready for it or not, and believe me, I don't feel ready for it. At all. Crap... here come the teary eyes.
As much as this hurts, I'm so glad it does. I sometimes disagree with the old cliché "No pain, no gain" but this is a good pain, such a good pain. My heart is aching in the most wonderful way because it means I don't want to leave, that I have found a home here. It means that all of this, and I mean ALL of this feels right. I ache because of memories, because I won't laugh until I cry nearly as often. Usually, pain means something is wrong, and in this case it means that something right is coming to an end. It's perhaps, the absence of what is right.
There are horror stories out there where individuals experience maladaptive pain reception/response and their lives are a constant struggle of self-awareness to figure out if anything is wrong. Parents of these individuals often say they'd give anything for their child to feel pain. Like I said, this pain means something good is changing, and that's not to say summer will be bad, but here has become home and leaving home is always so bittersweet...
It's like, do you ever feel like the pieces are starting to fall into place, even if you can't quite tell what the end result will be? That's how I feel. I'm practically giddy with the feeling that we're hurling towards something good. I just don't know what it'll be yet. All I know is that I get that feeling here. I've never laughed so hard for so long, nor have I felt such a sense of solidarity and belonging like I do in certain situations being here has allowed me to experience.
As I type this, there's a rabbit sitting 3 feet outside my window... it's munching on the most tender dandelions, but it's chewing well over a mile a minute and often freezes. I just want it to relax. I want it to slow down and take a look around and appreciate this moment, to know that it's all going to be okay. The trees on campus are in full bloom and the scent is breathtaking, literal in more ways than one, but the allergies are totally worth the beauty.
Even though it is finals week and I'm procrastinating on the philosophy final, life is good. This pain is good. Ripping apart the web that has formed here is good, because like muscles, these connections only grow stronger by being shredded and allowed to repair. Time will ease the pain to be sure, but I can't wait for next year.
Good things come to an end. Luckily for us this isn't the end, just a long, long rest.
This song feels like an accurate summary of my life in this very moment, both the joy of returning home to see my one family, both blood related and otherwise, as well as the pain of leaving my family here. I'll miss them, and you can bet I'll be playing this song in the weeks before school starts up again. It's also the first song on Concordia's Beat, a CD that features student performers. Personally the version on the CD is better. :P
Love life, be brave, understand that pain is not forever, nor is it always a bad thing.
-Megan
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Mini Heart Attack
Hiya Reader,
I hope you're well, I'm crashing a college lounge before my sociology class. Love the professor but not a huge fan of some of the subject matter as of late.
So when someone mentions an epic life, what comes to mind is typically a lot of really big, really intense events, like skydiving or going on a safari, or having a celebrity friend or something. I would challenge that an epic life is really just a bunch of nice little occurrences that build up over time or remain somewhat constant. They're just those little life moments that make you realize you can catch a break once in a while.
Case in point, those little mini heart attacks that turn out to be false alarms. You all know what I'm talking about, that instant rush of adrenaline when you're heart speeds out of control after you miss a step, after someone says "Can I ask you something?" and perhaps the most devastating of all the mini heart attacks, the misreading of the alarm clock.
See, I rarely sleep through the night, so when I wake up I always check the clock to see how much time I have left. I wake up anytime between 2 and 7 usually and have my alarm set for 7:30, though rarely do I roll out of bed until 7:45 if not later. Last night I woke up at precisely 5:59, and I'm not quite sure what I was seeing, but I saw 9:59, and my first class starts at 10:30. Cue mini heart attack. Eventually I got my sight back and breathed a sigh of relief before going back to bed for another two hours. You would have thought the fact that my room was still fairly pitch black would have been a good clue...
My point is that sometimes you catch breaks, and that mini heart attack was really just an overreaction or misinterpretation. Heck, sometimes you even get two more hours to lay back and relax.
Be well, be epic, and have a wonderful week.
-Megan
I hope you're well, I'm crashing a college lounge before my sociology class. Love the professor but not a huge fan of some of the subject matter as of late.
So when someone mentions an epic life, what comes to mind is typically a lot of really big, really intense events, like skydiving or going on a safari, or having a celebrity friend or something. I would challenge that an epic life is really just a bunch of nice little occurrences that build up over time or remain somewhat constant. They're just those little life moments that make you realize you can catch a break once in a while.
Case in point, those little mini heart attacks that turn out to be false alarms. You all know what I'm talking about, that instant rush of adrenaline when you're heart speeds out of control after you miss a step, after someone says "Can I ask you something?" and perhaps the most devastating of all the mini heart attacks, the misreading of the alarm clock.
See, I rarely sleep through the night, so when I wake up I always check the clock to see how much time I have left. I wake up anytime between 2 and 7 usually and have my alarm set for 7:30, though rarely do I roll out of bed until 7:45 if not later. Last night I woke up at precisely 5:59, and I'm not quite sure what I was seeing, but I saw 9:59, and my first class starts at 10:30. Cue mini heart attack. Eventually I got my sight back and breathed a sigh of relief before going back to bed for another two hours. You would have thought the fact that my room was still fairly pitch black would have been a good clue...
My point is that sometimes you catch breaks, and that mini heart attack was really just an overreaction or misinterpretation. Heck, sometimes you even get two more hours to lay back and relax.
Be well, be epic, and have a wonderful week.
-Megan
Sunday, April 15, 2012
End of the Road
Hello Reader,
May your Sunday be lazy, but not rainy as mine seems to be. I can hear the constant dripping of water outside my window and perhaps needless to say... I'm keeping the curtain closed.
My college is wrapping up their presentation of Camino Real by Tennessee Williams with their final performance today. Camino Real means "end of the road" and that's precisely where we, mostly I, find myself today.
The academic year is almost over. I'll have to commence a furious search for full-time employment within the next couple weeks. I'll have to pack up my life and leave my new home to go back to a place that now feels less like home and more like a vacation destination. Lovely to be at, and comfortable to be sure, but no where I really want to live...
One can approach this end of the road with celebration, fear, cautious optimism, melancholic moping--the kind that makes you lapse into thunderous applause and numerous pats on the back when you realize you had the guts to drag your sorry butt out of bed--or they can approach it with all of those reactions previously listed, as I seem to have been doing in a vicious cycle over the last week or so.
The fact remains... this is it. This is the curtain call on this particular play, this particular year in my (mostly epic) life, but good thing there is ample evidence of its existence. Good thing our year has been documented, both digitally, and with not so carefully written letters, almost too numerous to count. There's the facebook statuses, the tweets, the tumblr posts, the BLOGS--100 posts now on Dorm Room 718, and of course, our memories that we shouldn't necessarily discount. Oh, and the folded ticket stubs carefully tucked away in my wallet. This roller coaster has left its mark quite visibly on a number of mediums, including human hearts.
Was it good? Bad? Horrible? EPIC?! Hindsight will be 20/20, but it's been all of it.
Now this isn't the last post of the school year by any means, but know that it's winding down, speeding up, and doing everything in between.
Let's resolve to let the epicness continue.
-Megan
May your Sunday be lazy, but not rainy as mine seems to be. I can hear the constant dripping of water outside my window and perhaps needless to say... I'm keeping the curtain closed.
My college is wrapping up their presentation of Camino Real by Tennessee Williams with their final performance today. Camino Real means "end of the road" and that's precisely where we, mostly I, find myself today.
The academic year is almost over. I'll have to commence a furious search for full-time employment within the next couple weeks. I'll have to pack up my life and leave my new home to go back to a place that now feels less like home and more like a vacation destination. Lovely to be at, and comfortable to be sure, but no where I really want to live...
One can approach this end of the road with celebration, fear, cautious optimism, melancholic moping--the kind that makes you lapse into thunderous applause and numerous pats on the back when you realize you had the guts to drag your sorry butt out of bed--or they can approach it with all of those reactions previously listed, as I seem to have been doing in a vicious cycle over the last week or so.
The fact remains... this is it. This is the curtain call on this particular play, this particular year in my (mostly epic) life, but good thing there is ample evidence of its existence. Good thing our year has been documented, both digitally, and with not so carefully written letters, almost too numerous to count. There's the facebook statuses, the tweets, the tumblr posts, the BLOGS--100 posts now on Dorm Room 718, and of course, our memories that we shouldn't necessarily discount. Oh, and the folded ticket stubs carefully tucked away in my wallet. This roller coaster has left its mark quite visibly on a number of mediums, including human hearts.
Was it good? Bad? Horrible? EPIC?! Hindsight will be 20/20, but it's been all of it.
Now this isn't the last post of the school year by any means, but know that it's winding down, speeding up, and doing everything in between.
Let's resolve to let the epicness continue.
-Megan
Monday, April 9, 2012
Personal Experiment Completed!
Hi Reader,
I hope you had a wonderful Easter holiday!
A few weeks ago, in this post--> Personal Experiment I started my own personal experiment to see whether or not I could go the entire duration of Lent without eating meat. Essentially, I became a not-so-strict vegetarian. I am proud to say that I made it! I think I frustrated a few people with such an abrupt decision, but everyone complied even if they didn't know my logic or reasoning. I declared the experiment officially over and celebrated with ham yesterday. :P
The real goal of that decision wasn't really fueled by any desire to become a vegetarian. It was more like a personal challenge and a fun experiment that was spurned by a particularly long period of boredom and what felt like personal stagnation. Being vegetarian is really quite easy these days, especially on our college campus where everything is labeled as such. I do not envy younger or older vegetarians by any means, but that being said, I thought it would be more difficult. I really think mine was facilitated by the company I keep. It's, not surprisingly, easy to be vegetarian in the company of vegetarians. Do I see myself becoming full-fledged and long term in the future? Honestly, yes, I do. I just don't know if that's going to happen right now. Right now I just want some bacon.
So what did I learn? I learned that I really am capable of making life changes if I have the right type of motivation. I think I caught the experimental bug. I like to challenge myself and I'm beginning to realize that I'll learn the most and perhaps experience the most growth from challenges I impose on myself. So what should my next challenge be? Well, I definitely hope to do something over summer, whether that's write every day (not on the blog) or something else, but at least now I have some evidence that I can maintain a change.
I am so happy I did this.
Be epic, be well, and go experiment with your life.
-Megan
I hope you had a wonderful Easter holiday!
A few weeks ago, in this post--> Personal Experiment I started my own personal experiment to see whether or not I could go the entire duration of Lent without eating meat. Essentially, I became a not-so-strict vegetarian. I am proud to say that I made it! I think I frustrated a few people with such an abrupt decision, but everyone complied even if they didn't know my logic or reasoning. I declared the experiment officially over and celebrated with ham yesterday. :P
The real goal of that decision wasn't really fueled by any desire to become a vegetarian. It was more like a personal challenge and a fun experiment that was spurned by a particularly long period of boredom and what felt like personal stagnation. Being vegetarian is really quite easy these days, especially on our college campus where everything is labeled as such. I do not envy younger or older vegetarians by any means, but that being said, I thought it would be more difficult. I really think mine was facilitated by the company I keep. It's, not surprisingly, easy to be vegetarian in the company of vegetarians. Do I see myself becoming full-fledged and long term in the future? Honestly, yes, I do. I just don't know if that's going to happen right now. Right now I just want some bacon.
So what did I learn? I learned that I really am capable of making life changes if I have the right type of motivation. I think I caught the experimental bug. I like to challenge myself and I'm beginning to realize that I'll learn the most and perhaps experience the most growth from challenges I impose on myself. So what should my next challenge be? Well, I definitely hope to do something over summer, whether that's write every day (not on the blog) or something else, but at least now I have some evidence that I can maintain a change.
I am so happy I did this.
Be epic, be well, and go experiment with your life.
-Megan
Friday, March 30, 2012
It's Getting Better
Hey Reader, my laptop is currently in St. Paul! I should have it back on Monday which is super epic in itself.
So let me tell you about this morning. This morning was gross, dreary, and a little cold. I wore a jacket to breakfast. We've had a long string of rainy, cold, gloomy days so I wasn't expecting anything different, but by the time it was my first class, the sun came out and it wasn't so bad--even a little bit warm. I didn't wear my jacket the rest of the day, and I even made it a point to be outside. Heck, I looked around and campus is looking GREEN again. So the bad morning turned into a good day.
Change happens. Shifts happen. Unfortunately things shift in both directions, but have faith that they will shift back. Take time to notice the good changes going on around you. I am floored by how difficult and how easy life can feel at times. I can honestly say this has been the most challenging, most stressful year I've ever had. I can list off 8 or more major events right off the top of my head that have happened this year, less than half of which are positive, but right now, things have smoothed out a little. I finally feel like I'm having more good days than bad days, and I cannot say for certain that they'll last, but I am enjoying them while they're here. I'm slowly working on changing my patterns and behaviors and even my inner monologue has shifted to a more positive focus.
Life isn't all about you, do you realize this? We are all connected in various networks, webs, and social circles and whenever something changes, everyone's affected in some way. Whenever I ask someone else for help I always feel guilty because I try not to be that person, I always try to be independent because somewhere along the way, I got it into my head that I'm supposed to support people and not the other way around. Still, I am beginning to realize that you cannot help someone else until you find yourself in a good place. You need stable ground beneath your own feet before you can support someone else and I think I'm getting there. I know I'm getting there.
Life shifts, for better and for worse. Sometimes it will come naturally, and sometimes you have to bring it about yourself, but it will shift. My friend, Melissa, gave me a sticker for the Human Rights Campaign earlier in the year which I put it on my laptop, but removed shortly before I sent my computer in for repairs. On a whim, I decided to buy some more from the HRC website in case I couldn't save the one I had. They came in the mail today, and as I was walking back to my dorm, I was thinking about the campaign and the marriage equality and GSM (Gender and Sexual Minority, a new term I picked up at MBLGTACC) movements. I realized that even though things can feel difficult and rough on a personal level, progress is still being made. We have made so much progress in such a short time and it will continue to get better. My private, religious college even filmed their "It Gets Better" video this week and we're getting some final shots in on Wednesday. Life is shifting, and life will shift. It's getting better in a lot of ways and for a lot of different reasons--take the time to look around and notice. If you feel like it isn't, then do something about it.
Be well,
-Megan
So let me tell you about this morning. This morning was gross, dreary, and a little cold. I wore a jacket to breakfast. We've had a long string of rainy, cold, gloomy days so I wasn't expecting anything different, but by the time it was my first class, the sun came out and it wasn't so bad--even a little bit warm. I didn't wear my jacket the rest of the day, and I even made it a point to be outside. Heck, I looked around and campus is looking GREEN again. So the bad morning turned into a good day.
Change happens. Shifts happen. Unfortunately things shift in both directions, but have faith that they will shift back. Take time to notice the good changes going on around you. I am floored by how difficult and how easy life can feel at times. I can honestly say this has been the most challenging, most stressful year I've ever had. I can list off 8 or more major events right off the top of my head that have happened this year, less than half of which are positive, but right now, things have smoothed out a little. I finally feel like I'm having more good days than bad days, and I cannot say for certain that they'll last, but I am enjoying them while they're here. I'm slowly working on changing my patterns and behaviors and even my inner monologue has shifted to a more positive focus.
Life isn't all about you, do you realize this? We are all connected in various networks, webs, and social circles and whenever something changes, everyone's affected in some way. Whenever I ask someone else for help I always feel guilty because I try not to be that person, I always try to be independent because somewhere along the way, I got it into my head that I'm supposed to support people and not the other way around. Still, I am beginning to realize that you cannot help someone else until you find yourself in a good place. You need stable ground beneath your own feet before you can support someone else and I think I'm getting there. I know I'm getting there.
Life shifts, for better and for worse. Sometimes it will come naturally, and sometimes you have to bring it about yourself, but it will shift. My friend, Melissa, gave me a sticker for the Human Rights Campaign earlier in the year which I put it on my laptop, but removed shortly before I sent my computer in for repairs. On a whim, I decided to buy some more from the HRC website in case I couldn't save the one I had. They came in the mail today, and as I was walking back to my dorm, I was thinking about the campaign and the marriage equality and GSM (Gender and Sexual Minority, a new term I picked up at MBLGTACC) movements. I realized that even though things can feel difficult and rough on a personal level, progress is still being made. We have made so much progress in such a short time and it will continue to get better. My private, religious college even filmed their "It Gets Better" video this week and we're getting some final shots in on Wednesday. Life is shifting, and life will shift. It's getting better in a lot of ways and for a lot of different reasons--take the time to look around and notice. If you feel like it isn't, then do something about it.
Be well,
-Megan
Sunday, March 25, 2012
I'll be back soon!
Sorry Reader,
I know I've been a little bit AWOL lately--computer issues. But I'll be back online soon enough.
Between guest writing on Dorm Room 718 and this blog, I focus a lot on appreciating the small things, almost to the point of overkill. I'm sure you get it--small things and simple pleasures are important. The thing is, when you're far away in college, it's pretty much all you have. You don't have a permanent home, you're disconnected from your old friends and family, you don't have a fully stocked fridge to just grab a snack from--heck if you're like me you don't even have carpet. Little things get you through the days, weeks, and months.
Sometimes those little things turn into big things. Right now I'm chilling in a lounge and listening to the same song on repeat over and over and over again. Funny how a song can affect your mood. I listen to music when I want to be sad, be happy, or right now when I just want to maintain whatever mood this is. It's just nice to have that ability to listen to a song on repeat.
I'll tell you something else I didn't expect to come out of my college experience. I didn't expect to find a church family. I didn't expect to attend any church. Heck I'm not even that religious, but I've been lucky enough to fall into the company of people who put me into awkward situations which lead to such things as having the routine of attending a worship service. There, I've met some truly lovely people who've made me feel completely and utterly welcome. It is honestly the last thing I expected to find while in college and I know it's something I'll never find at home.
It's just funny to think about how important having a routine on Sunday has been for me. So Reader? appreciate the little things, especially when you notice they're becoming big things. That's how you can tell life is shifting--especially in better directions.
Be cool, be epic, love the sunshine.
-Megan
I know I've been a little bit AWOL lately--computer issues. But I'll be back online soon enough.
Between guest writing on Dorm Room 718 and this blog, I focus a lot on appreciating the small things, almost to the point of overkill. I'm sure you get it--small things and simple pleasures are important. The thing is, when you're far away in college, it's pretty much all you have. You don't have a permanent home, you're disconnected from your old friends and family, you don't have a fully stocked fridge to just grab a snack from--heck if you're like me you don't even have carpet. Little things get you through the days, weeks, and months.
Sometimes those little things turn into big things. Right now I'm chilling in a lounge and listening to the same song on repeat over and over and over again. Funny how a song can affect your mood. I listen to music when I want to be sad, be happy, or right now when I just want to maintain whatever mood this is. It's just nice to have that ability to listen to a song on repeat.
I'll tell you something else I didn't expect to come out of my college experience. I didn't expect to find a church family. I didn't expect to attend any church. Heck I'm not even that religious, but I've been lucky enough to fall into the company of people who put me into awkward situations which lead to such things as having the routine of attending a worship service. There, I've met some truly lovely people who've made me feel completely and utterly welcome. It is honestly the last thing I expected to find while in college and I know it's something I'll never find at home.
It's just funny to think about how important having a routine on Sunday has been for me. So Reader? appreciate the little things, especially when you notice they're becoming big things. That's how you can tell life is shifting--especially in better directions.
Be cool, be epic, love the sunshine.
-Megan
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
A Few Simple Words
Hello lovely Reader. Tis Nicole again. I've been quite busy with theatre and everything else, which is why I haven't appeared here for quite some time.
My life is insane right now... simply insane. I know, I talk about my crazy busy life a lot on my blog, but honestly it is my biggest concern right now. Most days I go from 8 to 10 in the morning, a short break for lunch and homework, then class/work until 4 or 5. Dinner at 6, then practice from 7-10, then homework and such. Often, I am drained of energy. The only thing that has kept me going today is caffeine and the knowledge I have to get work done before I can rest. It's been a stressful day, considering I had a few more things in my schedule. Right about now, all I can do is think in short, simple phrases.
Although people make fun of me for it and I can't help but laugh at myself, I rather enjoy the short simple phrases that come out of my mouth. My mantra today seems to be, "I'm tired." A few simple words that can mean so much - tired of the body, mind, soul, everything. Simple words can carry so much meaning. SMITH magazine created a thing called Six Word Memoirs. I did a few my freshman year of high school and they are full of memories and emotions.
I change every day. It sucks.
I am the great copy cat.
Too young to remember what happened.
Each has a memory and a powerful emotion for me - and it's just six words.
Think about an even shorter phrase - "I love you". It has so much depth if you think about. I mean really think about it. "I" can mean my desires or my passion or my soul or my mind, or even my entire self. "You" can mean an inanimate object, like food or a computer. It can also mean the person opposite to me - their soul, mind, dedication, or entire self. And "love". How deep the meaning goes. It seems to be the core of what life is. And a simple four letter word carries so much weight.
Here's what's epic: words. My theatre director in high school always taught me that silence speaks mounts where words fail. It seemed to me that the less words - and the more powerful they were - accompanied with silence can be the most powerful moment in the whole performance. Words carry weight, and sometimes you don't need to say much...sometimes you just need to say something.
Peace!
-Nicole
My life is insane right now... simply insane. I know, I talk about my crazy busy life a lot on my blog, but honestly it is my biggest concern right now. Most days I go from 8 to 10 in the morning, a short break for lunch and homework, then class/work until 4 or 5. Dinner at 6, then practice from 7-10, then homework and such. Often, I am drained of energy. The only thing that has kept me going today is caffeine and the knowledge I have to get work done before I can rest. It's been a stressful day, considering I had a few more things in my schedule. Right about now, all I can do is think in short, simple phrases.
Although people make fun of me for it and I can't help but laugh at myself, I rather enjoy the short simple phrases that come out of my mouth. My mantra today seems to be, "I'm tired." A few simple words that can mean so much - tired of the body, mind, soul, everything. Simple words can carry so much meaning. SMITH magazine created a thing called Six Word Memoirs. I did a few my freshman year of high school and they are full of memories and emotions.
I change every day. It sucks.
I am the great copy cat.
Too young to remember what happened.
Each has a memory and a powerful emotion for me - and it's just six words.
Think about an even shorter phrase - "I love you". It has so much depth if you think about. I mean really think about it. "I" can mean my desires or my passion or my soul or my mind, or even my entire self. "You" can mean an inanimate object, like food or a computer. It can also mean the person opposite to me - their soul, mind, dedication, or entire self. And "love". How deep the meaning goes. It seems to be the core of what life is. And a simple four letter word carries so much weight.
Here's what's epic: words. My theatre director in high school always taught me that silence speaks mounts where words fail. It seemed to me that the less words - and the more powerful they were - accompanied with silence can be the most powerful moment in the whole performance. Words carry weight, and sometimes you don't need to say much...sometimes you just need to say something.
Peace!
-Nicole
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Give and Take
Hi Reader! I am so incredibly tired today, and I don't know if it's lack of sleep or if I'm just slightly burned out. But, it will get better eventually I think.
There's no doubt that college changes you as a person. It changes aspects of your personality, your philosophy on life, your habits, everything. It's one of those formative experiences that will hopefully leave you better than when you started. It's strange though, because while some things seem to get better, others seem to get worse. I guess it's a paradox, yet balance always seems to be maintained somewhere.
These are some changes I'm noticing in myself since I've started school:
1. I'm worse at sleeping through the night, but I'm better at sleeping in louder, more lit conditions.
2. My public speaking anxiety seems to be worse, but my one on one eye contact is getting better.
3. I'm worse at time management as far as writing papers go, but I'm better at cranking out said papers.
4. I'm worse at coping with things on my own, but I'm better at taking the initiative to figure out how someone else is doing.
5. I'm worse at making big decisions, but I'm better at letting my spontaneous side come through.
6. I'm getting worse at letting myself show negative emotions, but I'm getting better at crying from laughter.
7. I'm getting worse at worrying about my future, but I'm also getting better at enjoying the time I have.
8. I'm getting worse at knowing the right thing to say, but I'm getting better at saying how I feel.
9. Finally, I'm getting worse at resisting the urge to ask strangers if they want a hug, but I'm getting better at hugs!
So, there you go. College changes you and parts of you shift around a little bit. I guess I'm just hoping the net benefits of this experience outweigh the costs of it. So far they have been.
Be well, be epic, and notice the changes in yourself--especially the positive ones.
-Megan
There's no doubt that college changes you as a person. It changes aspects of your personality, your philosophy on life, your habits, everything. It's one of those formative experiences that will hopefully leave you better than when you started. It's strange though, because while some things seem to get better, others seem to get worse. I guess it's a paradox, yet balance always seems to be maintained somewhere.
These are some changes I'm noticing in myself since I've started school:
1. I'm worse at sleeping through the night, but I'm better at sleeping in louder, more lit conditions.
2. My public speaking anxiety seems to be worse, but my one on one eye contact is getting better.
3. I'm worse at time management as far as writing papers go, but I'm better at cranking out said papers.
4. I'm worse at coping with things on my own, but I'm better at taking the initiative to figure out how someone else is doing.
5. I'm worse at making big decisions, but I'm better at letting my spontaneous side come through.
6. I'm getting worse at letting myself show negative emotions, but I'm getting better at crying from laughter.
7. I'm getting worse at worrying about my future, but I'm also getting better at enjoying the time I have.
8. I'm getting worse at knowing the right thing to say, but I'm getting better at saying how I feel.
9. Finally, I'm getting worse at resisting the urge to ask strangers if they want a hug, but I'm getting better at hugs!
So, there you go. College changes you and parts of you shift around a little bit. I guess I'm just hoping the net benefits of this experience outweigh the costs of it. So far they have been.
Be well, be epic, and notice the changes in yourself--especially the positive ones.
-Megan
Monday, March 12, 2012
Sunny Days
Hello there Reader? How's your day.
"Sunny Days" makes me think of Sesame Street which I've always disliked. I have no idea why I disliked it so much, but yeah. That's my train of thought at the moment.
Okay, let me preface this by saying I accidentally stumbled into playing the two songs Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye and Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepson at the same time. Crazy awesome songs to play on top of each other with their opposite moods and meanings. So that was my little happy discovery of the morning.
The weather yesterday was amazing! It was way too warm and sunny for a day in March, but I don't even care. I walked back to my dorm late last night in jeans and a sweatshirt... I love sweatshirt weather where there's enough chill in the air to feel refreshing but not enough to make you shiver. I love it. It was epic and nearly impossible to be in a bad mood.
Still, this whole March thing is making me crave green. I just can't wait to be able to see green again. I've never really liked St. Patrick's Day at all, but right now I am totally wishing I was Irish. Someone once told me Megan was an Irish name... 5 points to anyone who can verify this for me. I don't really think I'm craving summer at the moment, nah, just content for spring. Plus I really miss the squirrels! I just need a nice patch of grass, some warm weather, and maybe a nice dock and fishing rod. OooOOOoo, I wouldn't mind a hammock in a shady spot... *happy sigh*
While yesterday was sunny and warm, today is rainy as all get out. You should see the puddles! It's still warm, and I'm not even minding the rain as much as I usually would. It's kind of weird, you know when your internal mood coincides with the external weather? You know what I'm talking about right? That's not the case today. I feel super sunny despite the rain and today it isn't as if my mood and the weather are canceling each other out. Nah. It's like my mood is attributing different characteristics to the rain. I'm actually enjoying it overall. I wish I could say the same for my hair... it kind of doesn't like that whole moisture thing.
Let's all take one collective breath. I have a feeling it's going to be a good week, even if I do have that 8 page psychology paper to crank out... Oh well.
Be well, be epic.
-Megan
"Sunny Days" makes me think of Sesame Street which I've always disliked. I have no idea why I disliked it so much, but yeah. That's my train of thought at the moment.
Okay, let me preface this by saying I accidentally stumbled into playing the two songs Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye and Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepson at the same time. Crazy awesome songs to play on top of each other with their opposite moods and meanings. So that was my little happy discovery of the morning.
The weather yesterday was amazing! It was way too warm and sunny for a day in March, but I don't even care. I walked back to my dorm late last night in jeans and a sweatshirt... I love sweatshirt weather where there's enough chill in the air to feel refreshing but not enough to make you shiver. I love it. It was epic and nearly impossible to be in a bad mood.
Still, this whole March thing is making me crave green. I just can't wait to be able to see green again. I've never really liked St. Patrick's Day at all, but right now I am totally wishing I was Irish. Someone once told me Megan was an Irish name... 5 points to anyone who can verify this for me. I don't really think I'm craving summer at the moment, nah, just content for spring. Plus I really miss the squirrels! I just need a nice patch of grass, some warm weather, and maybe a nice dock and fishing rod. OooOOOoo, I wouldn't mind a hammock in a shady spot... *happy sigh*
While yesterday was sunny and warm, today is rainy as all get out. You should see the puddles! It's still warm, and I'm not even minding the rain as much as I usually would. It's kind of weird, you know when your internal mood coincides with the external weather? You know what I'm talking about right? That's not the case today. I feel super sunny despite the rain and today it isn't as if my mood and the weather are canceling each other out. Nah. It's like my mood is attributing different characteristics to the rain. I'm actually enjoying it overall. I wish I could say the same for my hair... it kind of doesn't like that whole moisture thing.
Let's all take one collective breath. I have a feeling it's going to be a good week, even if I do have that 8 page psychology paper to crank out... Oh well.
Be well, be epic.
-Megan
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Control Freak
Hey Reader, how's it going?
Okay, I'm going to say this straight up. From the mind of a control freak... Don't be a control freak! There, I said it. Don't be a control freak.
I know so many people and am one of those people who will try to control whatever I can, however I can, and for as long as I can, but I'm learning to knock that off and just sit back and let life happen. We like to convince ourselves that we control our lives. We don't. Sometimes we convince ourselves that our lives control us. It doesn't. The relationship between you and life just isn't that simple.
It's easy and comforting to lay down hard and fast rules for life. See, I think people have this idea that somehow they know what's best for them and that anything that deviates from that will result in ultimate unhappiness. Not true! Don't judge situations, people, anything by its cover. You have no idea whether or not they could enrich your life in some way, shape, or form. That guy with the mohawk and lip ring? Yeah he could be your political and musical soulmate, plus he's great with kids. Have standards by all means! Do not lower your standards, but don't make them impossibly high either. Just allow for exceptions to your own life rules. Life is unpredictable and will never follow a set of rules, that's what makes it epic! Anything could happen! Don't set your life in stone, but rather something a little more malleable so when life proves you wrong and slams the book down, you're not going to shatter and fall apart, but bend a little bit.
Here are some examples of rules I've not regretted bending or breaking:
1. I will never let anyone coerce me into going on a roller coaster.
2. I will never wear a strapless dress.
3. I will never consider dating anyone who _________. (insert a number of adjectives or verbs)
4. I will never WANT to speak in public.
5. I will never doubt my career choice.
6. I will not stay in bed until 6:30 pm.
7. I will not let someone coerce me into dyeing my hair.
8. I will not let someone influence when I get a tattoo.
9. I will not write a 12 page paper in one day.
10. I will not act like an idiot in front of George Watsky.
11. I will NEVER take a dance class. (We're doing the Electric Slide today. Gotta cover those Elementary school dance basics!)
So there. Bend your own rules. You never know where life will take you, but at some point you have to let it take you there.
May your life be all things epic and wonderful,
-Megan
Okay, I'm going to say this straight up. From the mind of a control freak... Don't be a control freak! There, I said it. Don't be a control freak.
I know so many people and am one of those people who will try to control whatever I can, however I can, and for as long as I can, but I'm learning to knock that off and just sit back and let life happen. We like to convince ourselves that we control our lives. We don't. Sometimes we convince ourselves that our lives control us. It doesn't. The relationship between you and life just isn't that simple.
It's easy and comforting to lay down hard and fast rules for life. See, I think people have this idea that somehow they know what's best for them and that anything that deviates from that will result in ultimate unhappiness. Not true! Don't judge situations, people, anything by its cover. You have no idea whether or not they could enrich your life in some way, shape, or form. That guy with the mohawk and lip ring? Yeah he could be your political and musical soulmate, plus he's great with kids. Have standards by all means! Do not lower your standards, but don't make them impossibly high either. Just allow for exceptions to your own life rules. Life is unpredictable and will never follow a set of rules, that's what makes it epic! Anything could happen! Don't set your life in stone, but rather something a little more malleable so when life proves you wrong and slams the book down, you're not going to shatter and fall apart, but bend a little bit.
Here are some examples of rules I've not regretted bending or breaking:
1. I will never let anyone coerce me into going on a roller coaster.
2. I will never wear a strapless dress.
3. I will never consider dating anyone who _________. (insert a number of adjectives or verbs)
4. I will never WANT to speak in public.
5. I will never doubt my career choice.
6. I will not stay in bed until 6:30 pm.
7. I will not let someone coerce me into dyeing my hair.
8. I will not let someone influence when I get a tattoo.
9. I will not write a 12 page paper in one day.
10. I will not act like an idiot in front of George Watsky.
11. I will NEVER take a dance class. (We're doing the Electric Slide today. Gotta cover those Elementary school dance basics!)
So there. Bend your own rules. You never know where life will take you, but at some point you have to let it take you there.
May your life be all things epic and wonderful,
-Megan
Thursday, March 1, 2012
*sip* *breathe* *sip* *sigh*
Helloooo Reader!
There's no doubt about it. I've been living the good life since I've been home. I am currently watching Rachael Ray's talk show while sipping some of my favorite tea (Good Earth Sweet and Spicy) which I've been chugging all week. You know? I don't mind her but I much prefer Ellen. I mean honestly Rachael, who really has a truffle shaver? I've also been sleeping WAY more than usual and enjoying every single minute of it. Yep, life it good. Oh, and I just threw on my favorite sweatshirt and a Rent playlist. Seasons of Love just gets me every time now that we're approaching the end of the school year. Can you tell I'm a little bit hyper?
Ever have one of those days where you sleep in super late, feel pretty good when you get up, and want to tackle anything and everything. No literally. Like if you saw someone you'd tackle them? Yep. I'm there. I'm sitting and staring at four classes worth of homework but I'm dead set on getting at least two subjects out of the way tonight so I can take my Sunday night back on campus nice and easy. I need a movie night or something... but I probably also need to clean my dorm. Hmm...
I'm beginning to think that the ever elusive idea of contentment is not and never will be a grand state of being that overshadows everything else, but rather a series of short moments present in situations like this. The trick might be to find a ton of little moments of contentment then in order to equal up to that grand state of being. Let me stress that this isn't new. This isn't some ground-breaking idea, but I'm only human and sometimes I forget to let happiness find me instead of me out looking for it.
So what am I going to do with this little moment of contentment? Well I'm going to watch a little bit of C-Span, listen to my Rent, play some solitaire, and overall enjoy the moment. Then I'll tackle some Sociology and Psychology. And then I'll get a work out in tonight before I probably stay up way too late, working on something literary before going to bed at 2 or 3 am to do it all over again in the morning. It's not an elaborate or exciting life at the moment, but it's still good, and I'm enjoying it. Epic.
I hope your day is filled with sunshine, hugs, and smiles. Not necessarily in that order.
-Megan
There's no doubt about it. I've been living the good life since I've been home. I am currently watching Rachael Ray's talk show while sipping some of my favorite tea (Good Earth Sweet and Spicy) which I've been chugging all week. You know? I don't mind her but I much prefer Ellen. I mean honestly Rachael, who really has a truffle shaver? I've also been sleeping WAY more than usual and enjoying every single minute of it. Yep, life it good. Oh, and I just threw on my favorite sweatshirt and a Rent playlist. Seasons of Love just gets me every time now that we're approaching the end of the school year. Can you tell I'm a little bit hyper?
Ever have one of those days where you sleep in super late, feel pretty good when you get up, and want to tackle anything and everything. No literally. Like if you saw someone you'd tackle them? Yep. I'm there. I'm sitting and staring at four classes worth of homework but I'm dead set on getting at least two subjects out of the way tonight so I can take my Sunday night back on campus nice and easy. I need a movie night or something... but I probably also need to clean my dorm. Hmm...
I'm beginning to think that the ever elusive idea of contentment is not and never will be a grand state of being that overshadows everything else, but rather a series of short moments present in situations like this. The trick might be to find a ton of little moments of contentment then in order to equal up to that grand state of being. Let me stress that this isn't new. This isn't some ground-breaking idea, but I'm only human and sometimes I forget to let happiness find me instead of me out looking for it.
So what am I going to do with this little moment of contentment? Well I'm going to watch a little bit of C-Span, listen to my Rent, play some solitaire, and overall enjoy the moment. Then I'll tackle some Sociology and Psychology. And then I'll get a work out in tonight before I probably stay up way too late, working on something literary before going to bed at 2 or 3 am to do it all over again in the morning. It's not an elaborate or exciting life at the moment, but it's still good, and I'm enjoying it. Epic.
I hope your day is filled with sunshine, hugs, and smiles. Not necessarily in that order.
-Megan
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Relaaaaax
Hello Reader!
I got back home last night around 8, riding in style with a very dear friend of mine who was driving a 2011 Malibu. Talk about luxury!
I'm so glad to be on break, it was definitely needed even though I wasn't under a lot of stress or deadlines towards the end. Still, simply being in such close proximity to so many people causes stress. I feel like I can breathe a little bit now.
I was just excited to spend a night in my nice warm bed, but things got a little hairy. I was restless all night and pretty much thrashed for a few hours before finally getting up, grabbing a container of frosting, and heading downstairs to fall asleep on the couch. I was definitely stuck in my head and so desperate to get the night over with that I turned on Jersey Shore in an effort to numb my brain. Jersey Shore for Pete's sake! Hey, if I have one good thing to say about that show, it makes me feel better about myself. I knew I would feel better in the morning, but I just had to get there.
I finally fell asleep, woke up, went shopping with my mom, and am now sitting on my bed listening to music and drinking some cranberry apple tea. I can feel myself getting progressively more stressed simply by being home, which is unfortunate since I'm really quite glad to be here. It's just full of different stressors to which I haven't be exposed or really needed to adapt to.
It's a bummer, but the good thing is that it will get better eventually. I think there's this weird paradox in human thought where we think negative things will last forever and positive things are fleeting. I remember times of feeling so good and then having the thought of "This isn't going to last." How unfortunate to think that I never remember having that thought when things hit the fan. The truth is that things do and will get better, even because of simple little things like the sunrise, and how wonderfully comforting to know that the sun WILL rise.
So I'm going to continue trying to relax and be calm, and maybe I'll watch a movie that will make me cry (since I feel ridiculously emotional now for no reason whatsoever) and later tonight I'll probably work on penning some things.
Oh but I'm listening to a Ryan Farish playlist at the moment. He's absolutely wonderful and you must check him out. His music makes me feel better about humanity. Have a great evening, and smile!
-Megan
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Personal Experiment
Hi Reader!
Okay, so today is Ash Wednesday and I grew up Catholic so I'm familiar with the significance and usual events that go along with Lent and things like that and while I am not really religious, I think now would be a good time to carry out a personal experiment. You know how sometimes you just have to go crazy and change things up a bit? This is one of those times. My existence has been way too boring as of late so I am going to do something a little bit crazy.
For the season of Lent, I am going to attempt to go vegetarian. Woah, crazy right? Not so much. I mean, I've been toying around with that concept and idea since I was 8 years old and so I'm supportive of the lifestyle, I have many many vegetarian friends and even two vegetarian professors at the moment. It's a more common thing on a college campus and I feel like it really is not that difficult or uncommon as it used to be. It's still a big thing and I don't want to downplay the lifestyle by any means. It feels like a big thing to me at least. Idk, I'm also slightly hyper at the moment...
So, this experiment is really a personal test, just to see what I can and cannot do. If I stick it out for 40 days then I will have a fantastic experience and story to tell. If I don't, well then that will be lame, but I also feel no religious obligation and thus hopefully won't feel as guilty, though I really do want to do this for the personal gain. If it sticks longer than the 40 days, well then, I will go from there, and if it stops after 40 days, I still think I will gain something valuable from the experience.
I believe the most challenging part of this will be the conscious effort of changing my lifestyle. I am no carnivore by any means, but I am still comfortable in my omnivorous ways. I need motivation other than just an experiment which I have both through friends and personal experiences with relatives working in agriculture as well as classes I'm taking, one focused heavily on food insecurity and poverty. So, I'm counting on you veggies out there to hold me to my promise. Am I crazy? Quite possibly. But I find epic growth comes out of epically crazy ideas
Be well, be epic!
Okay, so today is Ash Wednesday and I grew up Catholic so I'm familiar with the significance and usual events that go along with Lent and things like that and while I am not really religious, I think now would be a good time to carry out a personal experiment. You know how sometimes you just have to go crazy and change things up a bit? This is one of those times. My existence has been way too boring as of late so I am going to do something a little bit crazy.
For the season of Lent, I am going to attempt to go vegetarian. Woah, crazy right? Not so much. I mean, I've been toying around with that concept and idea since I was 8 years old and so I'm supportive of the lifestyle, I have many many vegetarian friends and even two vegetarian professors at the moment. It's a more common thing on a college campus and I feel like it really is not that difficult or uncommon as it used to be. It's still a big thing and I don't want to downplay the lifestyle by any means. It feels like a big thing to me at least. Idk, I'm also slightly hyper at the moment...
So, this experiment is really a personal test, just to see what I can and cannot do. If I stick it out for 40 days then I will have a fantastic experience and story to tell. If I don't, well then that will be lame, but I also feel no religious obligation and thus hopefully won't feel as guilty, though I really do want to do this for the personal gain. If it sticks longer than the 40 days, well then, I will go from there, and if it stops after 40 days, I still think I will gain something valuable from the experience.
I believe the most challenging part of this will be the conscious effort of changing my lifestyle. I am no carnivore by any means, but I am still comfortable in my omnivorous ways. I need motivation other than just an experiment which I have both through friends and personal experiences with relatives working in agriculture as well as classes I'm taking, one focused heavily on food insecurity and poverty. So, I'm counting on you veggies out there to hold me to my promise. Am I crazy? Quite possibly. But I find epic growth comes out of epically crazy ideas
Be well, be epic!
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Circle of Life
Woah Reader,
I'm so sorry for my unexpected and unintentional hiatus. Life got away from me for a little while, but I'm back.
As mentioned almost ad nauseum on the other blog, Dorm Room 718, we had a blast at MBLGTACC 2012. That stands for Midwest Bisexual Lesbian Gay Transgender Ally College Conference. It was absolutely incredible... but we left for Iowa incredibly early. The sunrise was absolutely breathtaking--it was one of those mornings where the entire sky is cloudy and so the sun reflects off of them in the most brilliant reds, pinks, and purples. We watched it while listening to the broadway version of The Circle of Life from the Lion King which was epic in itself, but let's get to the big picture.
What's really epic is the sheer fact that I had the opportunity and means to go. I mean, I had the ability to travel, to be comfortable, to speak and listen to people that I genuinely have come to respect and care about. We had an epic time and learned a lot. When we got back, I went home to be with my family which was also epic in its own little way. Sometimes you have it set in your mind how something is going to be and so you dread an event and unnecessarily stress yourself out about it. I knew that I was going home under less than ideal circumstances, and I think my friends ultimately had a better handle on the situation as a whole than I did. They encouraged me to go despite my initial reservations, and it turned out better than I expected it to. It still sucked based on the circumstances, but there's something to be said about facing something as a family.
It's difficult to admit when you're wrong, but my friends were completely right on this one. Everything turned out okay and I would have really regretted it had I not gone home. I'm taking a writing class at the moment and one of the things I'm learning to deal with is the fact that I cannot spot certain flaws within my writing until someone points them out to me. It's difficult to look at your own writing and your own life objectively, and so having people around you who aren't necessarily as influenced by the emotional nature of a situation is almost crucial to making the right decision sometimes. My friends were right and I was wrong--this time.
I am blessed to be where I am, to be doing what I'm doing, feeling what I'm feeling, learning what I'm learning, and seeing what I'm seeing. In spite of anything unfortunate, I am leading an epic life filled with epic people who can sometimes point out my epically flawed personal logic.
Recognize how valuable the people around you are. Whether either of you see it or not, they're giving you a perspective that's difficult to see by yourself. Be epic and be well. Until we meet again,
-Megan
I'm so sorry for my unexpected and unintentional hiatus. Life got away from me for a little while, but I'm back.
As mentioned almost ad nauseum on the other blog, Dorm Room 718, we had a blast at MBLGTACC 2012. That stands for Midwest Bisexual Lesbian Gay Transgender Ally College Conference. It was absolutely incredible... but we left for Iowa incredibly early. The sunrise was absolutely breathtaking--it was one of those mornings where the entire sky is cloudy and so the sun reflects off of them in the most brilliant reds, pinks, and purples. We watched it while listening to the broadway version of The Circle of Life from the Lion King which was epic in itself, but let's get to the big picture.
What's really epic is the sheer fact that I had the opportunity and means to go. I mean, I had the ability to travel, to be comfortable, to speak and listen to people that I genuinely have come to respect and care about. We had an epic time and learned a lot. When we got back, I went home to be with my family which was also epic in its own little way. Sometimes you have it set in your mind how something is going to be and so you dread an event and unnecessarily stress yourself out about it. I knew that I was going home under less than ideal circumstances, and I think my friends ultimately had a better handle on the situation as a whole than I did. They encouraged me to go despite my initial reservations, and it turned out better than I expected it to. It still sucked based on the circumstances, but there's something to be said about facing something as a family.
It's difficult to admit when you're wrong, but my friends were completely right on this one. Everything turned out okay and I would have really regretted it had I not gone home. I'm taking a writing class at the moment and one of the things I'm learning to deal with is the fact that I cannot spot certain flaws within my writing until someone points them out to me. It's difficult to look at your own writing and your own life objectively, and so having people around you who aren't necessarily as influenced by the emotional nature of a situation is almost crucial to making the right decision sometimes. My friends were right and I was wrong--this time.
I am blessed to be where I am, to be doing what I'm doing, feeling what I'm feeling, learning what I'm learning, and seeing what I'm seeing. In spite of anything unfortunate, I am leading an epic life filled with epic people who can sometimes point out my epically flawed personal logic.
Recognize how valuable the people around you are. Whether either of you see it or not, they're giving you a perspective that's difficult to see by yourself. Be epic and be well. Until we meet again,
-Megan
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Laughter
Hello lovely Reader! It's Nicole here.
Let me just say, yesterday was rough.
I couldn't stop laughing.
I mean, I really couldn't stop laughing. I don't know what came over me, but when Megan came over to my dorm after class, I just started to giggle. Then Megan couldn't stop laughing because I couldn't. It lasted solidly for an hour, then sporadically for the rest of the night. Nothing was particularly funny, but apparently I found it to be all hilarious.
To be honest, yesterday was rough. I had class at 8:30, volunteering the costume studio in the theatre from 10-11, then class from 11:50 to 1, and then homework until dinner at 6, then I had to write a speech and practice a monologue for class today. It was just long and I didn't have a lot of time relax. I took a half hour nap, but it was accidental. So let's just say my giggle fit was quite needed in my life.
A few months ago, Megan figured out I was very ticklish. When she discovered this, she said my 'tickle-giggle' was adorable...I didn't even know I had a 'tickle-giggle'. The more I thought about having different kinds of laughter, the more sense it made. Think of different situations when you laugh: with friends, at a movie, looking at photos or videos online, etc. There are ton of different types of laughter:
1. The tickle-giggle.
2. The "you-don't-get-the-joke-so-you-laugh-anyways" laugh.
3. The "you-just-fell-and-it's funny" laugh.
4. Trying to relieve tension.
5. The bursting laugh.
6. The inconspicuous laugh.
7. The pity laugh.
And so many more...
Here's what epic: laughter comes in so many different forms and in so many different situations. Someones all you need a good laughing fit after a long day or a little humor in a dark time. Life get's a bit down sometimes, but even science proves that if you smile, you feel a bit happier. I even heard that if you spend a few minutes just laughing every morning, your happiness will increase. So enjoy laughter because it's pretty epic.
Be epic and keep on being lovely.
Let me just say, yesterday was rough.
I couldn't stop laughing.
I mean, I really couldn't stop laughing. I don't know what came over me, but when Megan came over to my dorm after class, I just started to giggle. Then Megan couldn't stop laughing because I couldn't. It lasted solidly for an hour, then sporadically for the rest of the night. Nothing was particularly funny, but apparently I found it to be all hilarious.
To be honest, yesterday was rough. I had class at 8:30, volunteering the costume studio in the theatre from 10-11, then class from 11:50 to 1, and then homework until dinner at 6, then I had to write a speech and practice a monologue for class today. It was just long and I didn't have a lot of time relax. I took a half hour nap, but it was accidental. So let's just say my giggle fit was quite needed in my life.
A few months ago, Megan figured out I was very ticklish. When she discovered this, she said my 'tickle-giggle' was adorable...I didn't even know I had a 'tickle-giggle'. The more I thought about having different kinds of laughter, the more sense it made. Think of different situations when you laugh: with friends, at a movie, looking at photos or videos online, etc. There are ton of different types of laughter:
1. The tickle-giggle.
2. The "you-don't-get-the-joke-so-you-laugh-anyways" laugh.
3. The "you-just-fell-and-it's funny" laugh.
4. Trying to relieve tension.
5. The bursting laugh.
6. The inconspicuous laugh.
7. The pity laugh.
And so many more...
Here's what epic: laughter comes in so many different forms and in so many different situations. Someones all you need a good laughing fit after a long day or a little humor in a dark time. Life get's a bit down sometimes, but even science proves that if you smile, you feel a bit happier. I even heard that if you spend a few minutes just laughing every morning, your happiness will increase. So enjoy laughter because it's pretty epic.
Be epic and keep on being lovely.
-Nicole
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Walking on Diamonds
'Ello Reader,
Sorry for the long delay--it's been kind of a crazy week. I'm actually sitting here redoing my hair since it's looking a little minty green. It's supposed to be purple... it turns out blue. Don't ask. So I'm sitting here, a bit bored, I haven't blogged in about a week, and it's a good way to procrastinate on my homework. OH! I'm going to a conference from Friday to Sunday and I am super excited about it! So yep, that's what is new with me.
Hmm, so let me talk about thought and the mind for a bit. Our minds are incredibly powerful and incredibly mysterious. I mean, why else would a branch of psychology (cognitive) be dedicated to the mind and how it works? We can slip into altered states of consciousness through things like meditation or hypnosis, which are really solely due to the mind. Our minds can also cause physiological symptoms, especially those associated with pain or anxiety. There's a whole slew of psychosomatic disorders out there, and I don't know about you, but stress and worry wreak havoc on my body. I especially carry stress in my shoulders and as someone put it quite eloquently to me, "You have knots on your knots!" So yeah, it's a little crazy to think something so intangible can manifest thought and worry into physiological symptoms.
What I think is a little bit cooler though, is the concept of attention. If we don't pay attention to something, especially something visual, it's as if it doesn't exist! I find it both interesting and a bit freaky to think about the extent of what we miss on a daily basis, simply because we're not paying attention. The other night, I was walking back to my dorm sometime around midnight. The temperature had just dipped below freezing and the very thin layer of moisture left on the street and sidewalk was beginning to freeze. I wasn't really paying attention, but when I looked down everything seemed to sparkle. It was as if I was walking on diamonds. It was the most beautiful thing I had seen in quite a while, though I must admit it was rivaled by the hoar frost we've had on the trees for the last two days. Stunning. Here's a photo my friend took of that by the way. I feel so lucky to be living in such a beautiful place.
I think I was lost in thought before I noticed the sidewalks and roads. I love just sitting around and thinking. It's why I kind of like blogging--it forces me to organize and summarize my thoughts. I think a lot of people enjoy thinking, and especially having the time to think, but what gives thought it's value? It is valuable because we enjoy it? or do we enjoy it because it's valuable? Also, does the value of thinking come from the sheer fact that we do it and enjoy it, or from our explicit application into our daily lives? I'll leave that last one up to you. Whatever answer you come up with, I'm sure it will be epic.
So, go enjoy a few minutes of that epic thinking, but don't forget to look down--you never know when you'll find a diamond.
Please be well and be excellent! Have a good week!
-Megan
Sorry for the long delay--it's been kind of a crazy week. I'm actually sitting here redoing my hair since it's looking a little minty green. It's supposed to be purple... it turns out blue. Don't ask. So I'm sitting here, a bit bored, I haven't blogged in about a week, and it's a good way to procrastinate on my homework. OH! I'm going to a conference from Friday to Sunday and I am super excited about it! So yep, that's what is new with me.
Hmm, so let me talk about thought and the mind for a bit. Our minds are incredibly powerful and incredibly mysterious. I mean, why else would a branch of psychology (cognitive) be dedicated to the mind and how it works? We can slip into altered states of consciousness through things like meditation or hypnosis, which are really solely due to the mind. Our minds can also cause physiological symptoms, especially those associated with pain or anxiety. There's a whole slew of psychosomatic disorders out there, and I don't know about you, but stress and worry wreak havoc on my body. I especially carry stress in my shoulders and as someone put it quite eloquently to me, "You have knots on your knots!" So yeah, it's a little crazy to think something so intangible can manifest thought and worry into physiological symptoms.
What I think is a little bit cooler though, is the concept of attention. If we don't pay attention to something, especially something visual, it's as if it doesn't exist! I find it both interesting and a bit freaky to think about the extent of what we miss on a daily basis, simply because we're not paying attention. The other night, I was walking back to my dorm sometime around midnight. The temperature had just dipped below freezing and the very thin layer of moisture left on the street and sidewalk was beginning to freeze. I wasn't really paying attention, but when I looked down everything seemed to sparkle. It was as if I was walking on diamonds. It was the most beautiful thing I had seen in quite a while, though I must admit it was rivaled by the hoar frost we've had on the trees for the last two days. Stunning. Here's a photo my friend took of that by the way. I feel so lucky to be living in such a beautiful place.
I think I was lost in thought before I noticed the sidewalks and roads. I love just sitting around and thinking. It's why I kind of like blogging--it forces me to organize and summarize my thoughts. I think a lot of people enjoy thinking, and especially having the time to think, but what gives thought it's value? It is valuable because we enjoy it? or do we enjoy it because it's valuable? Also, does the value of thinking come from the sheer fact that we do it and enjoy it, or from our explicit application into our daily lives? I'll leave that last one up to you. Whatever answer you come up with, I'm sure it will be epic.
So, go enjoy a few minutes of that epic thinking, but don't forget to look down--you never know when you'll find a diamond.
Please be well and be excellent! Have a good week!
-Megan
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Waves
Hey Reader,
How's it going? I am once again procrastinating slightly, but I swear I will be productive tonight, then I get to hang out with little kids tomorrow morning. I'm excited. So, it is 6:02 and I'm kinda just waiting for people before dinner and then there's an event going on tonight. It's work time after that, I swear.
Life is filled with all sorts of little epic coincidences. Lately I've noticed that life seems to be composed of two separate waves, like sound waves kinda--there's the internal wave which consists of things like emotions, thoughts, personal goals etc. It's pretty much everything internalized, and given the name, is subject to very frequent ups and downs, even within the span of a day. Then there's the second wave consisting of everything external like events, weather, luck, etc. It's everything external to ourselves and can get a little out of hand sometimes, though we can control it in little ways, such as putting ourselves in specific situations or controlling how we react. As with the internal wave, this wave also has ups and downs. Duh, it's a wave.
Now, what I find interesting is how the waves interact with each other. I mean think of it. If an external wave crest matches up with an internal wave trough, they cancel out, and vice versa. This can be way cool if you're having a bad day and then something amazing happens--like seeing an incredible performance. *cough* *cough* Preston Pugmire. (Look him up, he's great to watch.) I mean, even if you're having a bad day and something good coincides, yet the waves don't exactly match up, the roughness is eased and life just becomes better.
Sure, these waves can cancel each other out and essentially, mellow you out, but they can also build each other up or rip each other down further. Take the sun for example, say you are feeling great and then you walk outside and it's a beautiful day--you see an incredible sun reflecting off all the surfaces and BAM, your good mood is now amplified by the great weather. Unfortunately this can also work in reverse. Say you're feeling rotten and then you find out you bombed a test or something like that. The bad mood is now amplified as well.
For the sake of optimism, let's focus on when internal positivity and general happiness coincides with external positivity and possibly good luck. We cannot isolate the two waves to examine them separately, but I highly doubt our lives would be as intense--yes it can sometimes be intensely painful, but it can also be intensely wonderful, and those times when the wave crests coincide is when epicness occurs.
So, live for the epic times when the crests coincide, they'll get you through the times when the troughs do. However, also be aware that the frequency is by no means static. Don't think that life has a set pattern for you, chances are it doesn't. Just enjoy the spontaneity of it all.
Be well, be excellent, be bloody brilliant!
-Megan
How's it going? I am once again procrastinating slightly, but I swear I will be productive tonight, then I get to hang out with little kids tomorrow morning. I'm excited. So, it is 6:02 and I'm kinda just waiting for people before dinner and then there's an event going on tonight. It's work time after that, I swear.
Life is filled with all sorts of little epic coincidences. Lately I've noticed that life seems to be composed of two separate waves, like sound waves kinda--there's the internal wave which consists of things like emotions, thoughts, personal goals etc. It's pretty much everything internalized, and given the name, is subject to very frequent ups and downs, even within the span of a day. Then there's the second wave consisting of everything external like events, weather, luck, etc. It's everything external to ourselves and can get a little out of hand sometimes, though we can control it in little ways, such as putting ourselves in specific situations or controlling how we react. As with the internal wave, this wave also has ups and downs. Duh, it's a wave.
Now, what I find interesting is how the waves interact with each other. I mean think of it. If an external wave crest matches up with an internal wave trough, they cancel out, and vice versa. This can be way cool if you're having a bad day and then something amazing happens--like seeing an incredible performance. *cough* *cough* Preston Pugmire. (Look him up, he's great to watch.) I mean, even if you're having a bad day and something good coincides, yet the waves don't exactly match up, the roughness is eased and life just becomes better.
Sure, these waves can cancel each other out and essentially, mellow you out, but they can also build each other up or rip each other down further. Take the sun for example, say you are feeling great and then you walk outside and it's a beautiful day--you see an incredible sun reflecting off all the surfaces and BAM, your good mood is now amplified by the great weather. Unfortunately this can also work in reverse. Say you're feeling rotten and then you find out you bombed a test or something like that. The bad mood is now amplified as well.
For the sake of optimism, let's focus on when internal positivity and general happiness coincides with external positivity and possibly good luck. We cannot isolate the two waves to examine them separately, but I highly doubt our lives would be as intense--yes it can sometimes be intensely painful, but it can also be intensely wonderful, and those times when the wave crests coincide is when epicness occurs.
So, live for the epic times when the crests coincide, they'll get you through the times when the troughs do. However, also be aware that the frequency is by no means static. Don't think that life has a set pattern for you, chances are it doesn't. Just enjoy the spontaneity of it all.
Be well, be excellent, be bloody brilliant!
-Megan
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Spectra
Heyo Reader! How're you?
I have about ten minutes before I head off to my philosophy class... what better to do with ten minutes than write a blog post right? Yes. So after class I am going to try to crank out an essay, breeze through the rest of my homework, maybe eat something, and then head off to see an acoustic show around 10. Good day? I think so, but that doesn't mean I don't need a weekend... right now preferably.
Seriously, since when did we make everything so black and white? You know those color pallets with maybe 10 colors on them? Then have you seen those full color spectra like the customize section of the Microsoft Paint program? Life is a spectrum, not a dichotomy. We dichotomize everything! Why? Well, it's easier to organize in our heads, but life offers so much more variety when we understand that almost every experience is taken from a spectrum of experiences. Think about all the false dichotomies we encounter in life. These are, but are not limited to: gender, sexuality, leadership, even race. I mean really, how much more colorful can life be if we accept the entire spectrum as reality instead of just a limited pallet of color? False dichotomy is a logical fallacy for a reason.
I was thinking about how I've changed from more of a leader to more of a follower the other day. Then I smacked myself in the head and told myself to stop being so ridiculous about the whole thing. My leadership roles have shifted, turned a few degrees to the right or left maybe, but they have not completely reversed. I am simply more comfortable taking control in different situations than I have been in the past, and I'm much more content to be led.
We can't just live life pigeon-holing ourselves into one set role, position, or anything else. We are humans and we change. Everything about ourselves, be it personality, preferences, interests, whatever you can think of, has the capacity to shift and shift fairly often. It's okay to recognize in yourself the fact that you are a dynamic human being. Just accept it and go with it. Enjoy the dynamic ride. Who we are, and what we are is just a flexible point on a spectrum. Spectra are epic--take rainbows for example. Nothing is better than a good rainbow... except a double rainbow...
Have the most excellent of days.
-Megan
I have about ten minutes before I head off to my philosophy class... what better to do with ten minutes than write a blog post right? Yes. So after class I am going to try to crank out an essay, breeze through the rest of my homework, maybe eat something, and then head off to see an acoustic show around 10. Good day? I think so, but that doesn't mean I don't need a weekend... right now preferably.
Seriously, since when did we make everything so black and white? You know those color pallets with maybe 10 colors on them? Then have you seen those full color spectra like the customize section of the Microsoft Paint program? Life is a spectrum, not a dichotomy. We dichotomize everything! Why? Well, it's easier to organize in our heads, but life offers so much more variety when we understand that almost every experience is taken from a spectrum of experiences. Think about all the false dichotomies we encounter in life. These are, but are not limited to: gender, sexuality, leadership, even race. I mean really, how much more colorful can life be if we accept the entire spectrum as reality instead of just a limited pallet of color? False dichotomy is a logical fallacy for a reason.
I was thinking about how I've changed from more of a leader to more of a follower the other day. Then I smacked myself in the head and told myself to stop being so ridiculous about the whole thing. My leadership roles have shifted, turned a few degrees to the right or left maybe, but they have not completely reversed. I am simply more comfortable taking control in different situations than I have been in the past, and I'm much more content to be led.
We can't just live life pigeon-holing ourselves into one set role, position, or anything else. We are humans and we change. Everything about ourselves, be it personality, preferences, interests, whatever you can think of, has the capacity to shift and shift fairly often. It's okay to recognize in yourself the fact that you are a dynamic human being. Just accept it and go with it. Enjoy the dynamic ride. Who we are, and what we are is just a flexible point on a spectrum. Spectra are epic--take rainbows for example. Nothing is better than a good rainbow... except a double rainbow...
Have the most excellent of days.
-Megan
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Fragile
Okay Reader,
Since when do I procrastinate this much, huh? Seriously, I need to stop letting myself put off so much work for so long. You know what? It will get done, and it will be good. I'm sitting in my dorm at 12:30 am, just writing this. T'was a very low key day, and I even got a nap in. It's a shame I have to put off naps until the weekend... a cryin' shame. Anyways, this is what I've been thinking about lately:
I'm not super religious or anything, but I do have a spiritual side, and for lack of a better word, we are miracles. There. I said it. The human race and the human experience is incredibly and profoundly miraculous. Why? Because we survive as individuals, as groups, as cultures, as a race. Not only do we survive, but given the right conditions, we downright thrive!--all while inhabiting very fragile bodies in a very dangerous world. Life is extremely fragile, do you know this?
We have five incredible senses and an even more powerful mind. Now, the reason I say that life is fragile is because everything we are, our personality, our soul, ourselves, are stored in our brains, and if anything happens to that brain, we lose whatever processes and systems happened to be on that part of a very fragile cortical layer of gray matter. Every sensation you experience, every smell, every sound, every taste, every image, and every touch, only exists because some part of your brain tells you you're experiencing it. If this is damaged... you simply don't experience that particular sensation. Fragile.
We live a miraculous existence because our lives are filled with rich, but raw sensations that our mind weaves together to form the tapestry that is the world we know. Simple wavelengths come together in the systems of the eye to produce the beautiful image of a sunset, pressure waves are transformed into electrical signals that are interpreted to be the sounds of a friend playing guitar... and the subtle changes in pressure on our skin cause sensory neurons to fire more rapidly, resulting in us detecting the comforting squeeze of a friend's hand in a moment of distress.
We lead dangerous, perilous, fragile lives, and yet it's a beautiful existence made stable by our interactions with the places and people we choose to be and be with. We live lives rich with experiences, even if that's just waking up to the smell of vanilla. Life is a miracle because somehow, all this randomness and chaos makes sense once filtered through biological systems in our brain. The science behind our senses allows us the wonder of the human experience--to experience humanity. I think that's pretty epic, don't you?
So, Reader. I want you to use your senses. Breathe deep. Look around. Savor that meal. Listen to that music. Feel something. Don't take your senses for granted--just take a moment to soak it all up like the sensory sponge you are.
That's it for now. I hope for you the courage to be brave, be bold, and be beautiful.
-Megan
Since when do I procrastinate this much, huh? Seriously, I need to stop letting myself put off so much work for so long. You know what? It will get done, and it will be good. I'm sitting in my dorm at 12:30 am, just writing this. T'was a very low key day, and I even got a nap in. It's a shame I have to put off naps until the weekend... a cryin' shame. Anyways, this is what I've been thinking about lately:
I'm not super religious or anything, but I do have a spiritual side, and for lack of a better word, we are miracles. There. I said it. The human race and the human experience is incredibly and profoundly miraculous. Why? Because we survive as individuals, as groups, as cultures, as a race. Not only do we survive, but given the right conditions, we downright thrive!--all while inhabiting very fragile bodies in a very dangerous world. Life is extremely fragile, do you know this?
We have five incredible senses and an even more powerful mind. Now, the reason I say that life is fragile is because everything we are, our personality, our soul, ourselves, are stored in our brains, and if anything happens to that brain, we lose whatever processes and systems happened to be on that part of a very fragile cortical layer of gray matter. Every sensation you experience, every smell, every sound, every taste, every image, and every touch, only exists because some part of your brain tells you you're experiencing it. If this is damaged... you simply don't experience that particular sensation. Fragile.
We live a miraculous existence because our lives are filled with rich, but raw sensations that our mind weaves together to form the tapestry that is the world we know. Simple wavelengths come together in the systems of the eye to produce the beautiful image of a sunset, pressure waves are transformed into electrical signals that are interpreted to be the sounds of a friend playing guitar... and the subtle changes in pressure on our skin cause sensory neurons to fire more rapidly, resulting in us detecting the comforting squeeze of a friend's hand in a moment of distress.
We lead dangerous, perilous, fragile lives, and yet it's a beautiful existence made stable by our interactions with the places and people we choose to be and be with. We live lives rich with experiences, even if that's just waking up to the smell of vanilla. Life is a miracle because somehow, all this randomness and chaos makes sense once filtered through biological systems in our brain. The science behind our senses allows us the wonder of the human experience--to experience humanity. I think that's pretty epic, don't you?
So, Reader. I want you to use your senses. Breathe deep. Look around. Savor that meal. Listen to that music. Feel something. Don't take your senses for granted--just take a moment to soak it all up like the sensory sponge you are.
That's it for now. I hope for you the courage to be brave, be bold, and be beautiful.
-Megan
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Winter, Soup, and Quiet
Hello lovely Reader!
I am Nicole, one of Megan's friends at college. She writes on my blog every Wednesday and in turn, she asked me to write on her blog every once in a while. So here goes nothing.
The weather right now is -3 degrees, but with windchill it feels like -20. Heck, there is even an extreme cold warning in effect until noon (which is about right now). I had a doctor appointment at about nine this morning and my car barely started. After my appointment, I headed back to campus and had to run around, dropping off applications, scholarship money, and letters. I am now chilling in my room, about to eat a hot bowl of soup. I still can't really feel my feet and I'm sure my face still has some redness to it.
I love summer - the warmth, the time off, the being able to be barefoot, the whole nine-yards. Typically I hate winter. It's fun for about two days then it just becomes annoying. But something about this winter is different; maybe it's because the snow didn't come until after January 1st but whatever it is, I am enjoying it more.
When I was running around campus this morning, it was quiet. No one was out and even if someone was walking, it was too cold to talk. Sometimes life gets too busy and too loud. Even though I adore summer, I also enjoy the quietness of winter.
As I come to the bottom of my bowl of soup, I am quite sad. Although winter is bitter and cold, it also gives you a perfect reason to eat a hot bowl of soup, drink a cup of cocoa, curl up with a heated blanket, and cuddle up next to someone and just enjoy the quietness of the season. And I think that's pretty epic.
Enjoy the quietness of the weather and the warmth that will come after the cold. If you need a moment to relax and be quiet, check this website out.
Be epic and keep on being lovely.
-Nicole
I am Nicole, one of Megan's friends at college. She writes on my blog every Wednesday and in turn, she asked me to write on her blog every once in a while. So here goes nothing.
The weather right now is -3 degrees, but with windchill it feels like -20. Heck, there is even an extreme cold warning in effect until noon (which is about right now). I had a doctor appointment at about nine this morning and my car barely started. After my appointment, I headed back to campus and had to run around, dropping off applications, scholarship money, and letters. I am now chilling in my room, about to eat a hot bowl of soup. I still can't really feel my feet and I'm sure my face still has some redness to it.
I love summer - the warmth, the time off, the being able to be barefoot, the whole nine-yards. Typically I hate winter. It's fun for about two days then it just becomes annoying. But something about this winter is different; maybe it's because the snow didn't come until after January 1st but whatever it is, I am enjoying it more.
When I was running around campus this morning, it was quiet. No one was out and even if someone was walking, it was too cold to talk. Sometimes life gets too busy and too loud. Even though I adore summer, I also enjoy the quietness of winter.
As I come to the bottom of my bowl of soup, I am quite sad. Although winter is bitter and cold, it also gives you a perfect reason to eat a hot bowl of soup, drink a cup of cocoa, curl up with a heated blanket, and cuddle up next to someone and just enjoy the quietness of the season. And I think that's pretty epic.
Enjoy the quietness of the weather and the warmth that will come after the cold. If you need a moment to relax and be quiet, check this website out.
Be epic and keep on being lovely.
-Nicole
Monday, January 16, 2012
Talents, Awe, and Art.
Heyo Reader,
How you doin'? I'm sitting around, procrastinating on a few papers due Wednesday. No worries though, I have all my work done for tomorrow. I'm actually just sitting on my bed, listening to Yellowcard. Life is good right? Or... at least it will be until those papers kick in. The good news is I have my philosophy class tomorrow, which I adore. Tomorrow's looking to be a good day--busy, but good.
Okay, so you know what's really great? Having friends who are willing to share their talents with you. I guess I'm thinking of artistic things, be they musical, literary, or visual. It's any kind of talent really, but the arts just seem to be on my mind lately. I cannot even begin to describe how blessed I am to know all sorts of incredible people with talents I only wish I myself possessed. I know painters, artists, writers, dancers, guitarists, drummers, pianists, poets, orators, philosophers, actors, potters, photographers, singers, and a number of other incredible things that escape my immediate consciousness.
Everyone you know has talents that you might not know about or might not have been allowed to see, and that's incredible when you stop to think about it. One of my friends is an incredible sketch artist and I remember her just sitting down for a couple minutes, getting into a weird zone, and cranking out incredible drawings. I don't even think I could draw a decent straight line in the time she would work. The art of your peers will enrich your life, just as it should.
The beautiful art and general talents of your peers are the kinds of things that make life bearable when it seems unbearable. They are capable of bringing to light the beautiful, and sometimes painful realities of life, and they are also capable of letting you casually slip into the softest, most comforting daydreams.
Appreciate your friends and talents, and encourage them to pursue whatever those may be. Sometimes we take the skills of others for granted, barely glancing at a friend's painting or missing someone's dance recital. I'm no artist by any means but it feels excellent to hear genuine compliments and praise from friends for anything artistic I do, and I can only assume they feel the same. It just feels good to be noticed.
Art makes life epic. It's a fact... 'cause I said so.
Be well Reader, and be excellent.
-Megan
How you doin'? I'm sitting around, procrastinating on a few papers due Wednesday. No worries though, I have all my work done for tomorrow. I'm actually just sitting on my bed, listening to Yellowcard. Life is good right? Or... at least it will be until those papers kick in. The good news is I have my philosophy class tomorrow, which I adore. Tomorrow's looking to be a good day--busy, but good.
Okay, so you know what's really great? Having friends who are willing to share their talents with you. I guess I'm thinking of artistic things, be they musical, literary, or visual. It's any kind of talent really, but the arts just seem to be on my mind lately. I cannot even begin to describe how blessed I am to know all sorts of incredible people with talents I only wish I myself possessed. I know painters, artists, writers, dancers, guitarists, drummers, pianists, poets, orators, philosophers, actors, potters, photographers, singers, and a number of other incredible things that escape my immediate consciousness.
Everyone you know has talents that you might not know about or might not have been allowed to see, and that's incredible when you stop to think about it. One of my friends is an incredible sketch artist and I remember her just sitting down for a couple minutes, getting into a weird zone, and cranking out incredible drawings. I don't even think I could draw a decent straight line in the time she would work. The art of your peers will enrich your life, just as it should.
The beautiful art and general talents of your peers are the kinds of things that make life bearable when it seems unbearable. They are capable of bringing to light the beautiful, and sometimes painful realities of life, and they are also capable of letting you casually slip into the softest, most comforting daydreams.
Appreciate your friends and talents, and encourage them to pursue whatever those may be. Sometimes we take the skills of others for granted, barely glancing at a friend's painting or missing someone's dance recital. I'm no artist by any means but it feels excellent to hear genuine compliments and praise from friends for anything artistic I do, and I can only assume they feel the same. It just feels good to be noticed.
Art makes life epic. It's a fact... 'cause I said so.
Be well Reader, and be excellent.
-Megan
Friday, January 13, 2012
BIG Decisions
Well Reader,
I am currently creating the illusion of being productive by doing this to kill some time before I have my psych class. Ugh. But, today has been better than expected. I am sitting in my peaceful dorm room, possibly making myself a cup of tea, and contemplating how the rest of this Friday the 13th will play out. Rest assured I have tons and tons of work to get done over the weekend... but it's Friday, and we are going to have a good time dang it!
So, today's topic is this: Life changing decisions. In my Sociology class today, we touched on the topic of reciprocity between the individual and their context, in other words, how an individual is incredibly impacted by their society and environment, but also how society and environment can be incredibly influenced by an individual.
Applying this to my own life, I realize that I am in the presence of some people making incredibly epic life changing decisions. I am talking BIG decisions here. These decisions not only affect those making them, but those in contact with them. I mean, life decisions can have both positive and negative outcomes, and sometimes we can't avoid the negative, but we can always choose to see the bright side in adverse circumstances, and there will always always always be a bright side. Have you ever been in close contact with a lot of pessimists? a lot of optimists? Their energy may be annoying at times, but it also spreads. As humans, we tend to assimilate into groups even without trying, and so my point is this:
Optimists tend to have more positive life outcomes, and while they cannot control whether every life changing decision has a positive outcome, they'll probably handle the ones that don't just a little bit better, and so if you surround yourself with optimists, or at the very least, actively see the bright side of things, the ripple effects of other people's decisions will affect you in more positive, or less negative ways respectively.
I am in contact with incredibly epic people making incredibly epic decisions, and we always hear things like "You can't control the cards you're dealt, but you can control how you play them." Well, the people I know are dealt some weird, difficult hands, and yet they are playing them out beautifully. They are taking control and refusing to let society dictate how life ought to be lived, but instead opting to change and influence the circumstances of their own existence. My current existence is pretty standard, but I am in the company of greatness, and I can honestly say I am inspired to take the reigns of my own destiny, even if that's as trivial as deciding what time to set my alarm for.
That's all I got folks. Be excellent. Be epic.
-Megan
I am currently creating the illusion of being productive by doing this to kill some time before I have my psych class. Ugh. But, today has been better than expected. I am sitting in my peaceful dorm room, possibly making myself a cup of tea, and contemplating how the rest of this Friday the 13th will play out. Rest assured I have tons and tons of work to get done over the weekend... but it's Friday, and we are going to have a good time dang it!
So, today's topic is this: Life changing decisions. In my Sociology class today, we touched on the topic of reciprocity between the individual and their context, in other words, how an individual is incredibly impacted by their society and environment, but also how society and environment can be incredibly influenced by an individual.
Applying this to my own life, I realize that I am in the presence of some people making incredibly epic life changing decisions. I am talking BIG decisions here. These decisions not only affect those making them, but those in contact with them. I mean, life decisions can have both positive and negative outcomes, and sometimes we can't avoid the negative, but we can always choose to see the bright side in adverse circumstances, and there will always always always be a bright side. Have you ever been in close contact with a lot of pessimists? a lot of optimists? Their energy may be annoying at times, but it also spreads. As humans, we tend to assimilate into groups even without trying, and so my point is this:
Optimists tend to have more positive life outcomes, and while they cannot control whether every life changing decision has a positive outcome, they'll probably handle the ones that don't just a little bit better, and so if you surround yourself with optimists, or at the very least, actively see the bright side of things, the ripple effects of other people's decisions will affect you in more positive, or less negative ways respectively.
I am in contact with incredibly epic people making incredibly epic decisions, and we always hear things like "You can't control the cards you're dealt, but you can control how you play them." Well, the people I know are dealt some weird, difficult hands, and yet they are playing them out beautifully. They are taking control and refusing to let society dictate how life ought to be lived, but instead opting to change and influence the circumstances of their own existence. My current existence is pretty standard, but I am in the company of greatness, and I can honestly say I am inspired to take the reigns of my own destiny, even if that's as trivial as deciding what time to set my alarm for.
That's all I got folks. Be excellent. Be epic.
-Megan
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Rain, Thought, and Country Music
Reader, I am sitting in my room now at 8:33 am, getting ready to head off to breakfast, and eventually, my sociology class at 10:30. I am surprised I was able to wake up so easily this morning--the excitement of the first day of class perhaps. My goodness is it nice to have routine again!
I don't like country music. I just don't. I don't know if it's the overwhelming twanginess or the fact that it's too idealistic, but it's not my thing. However, for all the flaws I attribute to country music, I gotta say I appreciate its general optimism and acceptance of emotion. You rarely hear a country song in which the singer tries to manipulate their own emotion into something else. The impression I've gotten is that emotions are generally accepted as being what they are and that's it.
Ever notice how thought wrecks everything? Overthinking keeps us awake at night, turns molehills into mountains, and freaks us out in general. Never underestimate the power of the mind. Fortunately, thinking can also bring us out of the chaos it leads us into. What a double-edged sword thought is.
So, you know what's epic? When something you don't generally like goes and does something wonderful. Like thought, tons of things are double-edged swords, but with certain things, it seems as though the sharper side is always prominent. Take rain for example, I'm not a huge fan of rain, but I absolutely LOVE it when it's beautiful, like night time in a city when everything turns into a mirror and every light source is amplified a thousand times over, and the world feels glassy... stunning. It's not just rain, but water (It's snowing right now for your information) but have you ever gone outside right after an ice storm? It's beauty mixed with pain mixed with peace. Poetic in a way.
Sure ice sucks to drive on, but we're the ones who put ourselves in positions to drive. It's not ice's fault it's slippery. My point was, sometimes things you don't like end up surprising you with wonderful little epic moments. I can practically hear the Overture of 1812 being played above the sounds of traffic.
Be well, be excellent, and be epic!
-Megan
I don't like country music. I just don't. I don't know if it's the overwhelming twanginess or the fact that it's too idealistic, but it's not my thing. However, for all the flaws I attribute to country music, I gotta say I appreciate its general optimism and acceptance of emotion. You rarely hear a country song in which the singer tries to manipulate their own emotion into something else. The impression I've gotten is that emotions are generally accepted as being what they are and that's it.
Ever notice how thought wrecks everything? Overthinking keeps us awake at night, turns molehills into mountains, and freaks us out in general. Never underestimate the power of the mind. Fortunately, thinking can also bring us out of the chaos it leads us into. What a double-edged sword thought is.
So, you know what's epic? When something you don't generally like goes and does something wonderful. Like thought, tons of things are double-edged swords, but with certain things, it seems as though the sharper side is always prominent. Take rain for example, I'm not a huge fan of rain, but I absolutely LOVE it when it's beautiful, like night time in a city when everything turns into a mirror and every light source is amplified a thousand times over, and the world feels glassy... stunning. It's not just rain, but water (It's snowing right now for your information) but have you ever gone outside right after an ice storm? It's beauty mixed with pain mixed with peace. Poetic in a way.
Sure ice sucks to drive on, but we're the ones who put ourselves in positions to drive. It's not ice's fault it's slippery. My point was, sometimes things you don't like end up surprising you with wonderful little epic moments. I can practically hear the Overture of 1812 being played above the sounds of traffic.
Be well, be excellent, and be epic!
-Megan
Monday, January 9, 2012
The Art of Communication
Dear Reader,
I am sitting here in my dorm room, sipping a cup of English Breakfast tea that I have now reheated for the third time. I woke up at approximately 5:30, unable to sleep any longer, took a delightful shower, and am now feeling human enough to challenge the day, and what a good one it will be. You see, I just got back to school yesterday and am settling back in, possibly to live a life solitary. I miss my roommate, but alas, life has called her elsewhere.
Let's be honest, we're all communications majors. If not majoring in it, we're minoring in it. I don't care if your transcript says you're pre-med, or Biology, or Engineering, or Psychology, or even Enigmatology, the study of puzzles. (I was recently told that Will Shortz, creator of the New York Times crossword puzzle, majored in this. According to Wikipedia, it's true.) No matter what your declared major, communication is and will be an important part of your life.
Now, let's be honest. As humans, we sometimes suck at communication. Things get misinterpreted or lost in translation, or sometimes we just refuse to put effort into it or ignore the fact that a problem stems from our poor, lacking communication skills. BUT, we still have this incredible ability to transpose feeling into thought and spin thought into written and verbal language. We can write volumes in a photograph, and speak not only sentences, but recite entire epics using only our eyes. We communicate through words, body language, touch, sound, we do all of this communicating, and why? Well, 1. It allows us to survive and 2. We crave it.
When you get down to the nuts, bolts, statistics, and logistics of living in society, it is based on the ability to communicate, to be able to proclaim our existence to others and have them recognize and interpret the implications of that existence.
Now, let's jump back to the present. Us as communication majors. We're all studying and learning the art of communication, be it at age 9 or 90. We learn, we laugh, we love, and we somehow figure out what is okay to say and do around certain people. I have learned to not make lawyer jokes to my cousin who will soon graduate law school. YAY learning! As we go through life learning to better present thoughts, opinions, and facts, we are also learning how to better interpret those same items. In this information age, we are becoming able to more quickly comprehend information as well as with more accuracy. Good thing too, because these days we're dealing with loads of information on a daily basis.
So, what are you waiting for? Go communicate! By itself, communication is not good nor bad, it is only the vehicle with which information is transferred. But, if you can better transfer that information, I can almost guarantee you'll see some positive results, even if that's just time saved from not having to dance around a subject. I'm just thankful we're able to connect with each other on so many levels.
Go be epic and excellent!
-Megan
I am sitting here in my dorm room, sipping a cup of English Breakfast tea that I have now reheated for the third time. I woke up at approximately 5:30, unable to sleep any longer, took a delightful shower, and am now feeling human enough to challenge the day, and what a good one it will be. You see, I just got back to school yesterday and am settling back in, possibly to live a life solitary. I miss my roommate, but alas, life has called her elsewhere.
Let's be honest, we're all communications majors. If not majoring in it, we're minoring in it. I don't care if your transcript says you're pre-med, or Biology, or Engineering, or Psychology, or even Enigmatology, the study of puzzles. (I was recently told that Will Shortz, creator of the New York Times crossword puzzle, majored in this. According to Wikipedia, it's true.) No matter what your declared major, communication is and will be an important part of your life.
Now, let's be honest. As humans, we sometimes suck at communication. Things get misinterpreted or lost in translation, or sometimes we just refuse to put effort into it or ignore the fact that a problem stems from our poor, lacking communication skills. BUT, we still have this incredible ability to transpose feeling into thought and spin thought into written and verbal language. We can write volumes in a photograph, and speak not only sentences, but recite entire epics using only our eyes. We communicate through words, body language, touch, sound, we do all of this communicating, and why? Well, 1. It allows us to survive and 2. We crave it.
When you get down to the nuts, bolts, statistics, and logistics of living in society, it is based on the ability to communicate, to be able to proclaim our existence to others and have them recognize and interpret the implications of that existence.
Now, let's jump back to the present. Us as communication majors. We're all studying and learning the art of communication, be it at age 9 or 90. We learn, we laugh, we love, and we somehow figure out what is okay to say and do around certain people. I have learned to not make lawyer jokes to my cousin who will soon graduate law school. YAY learning! As we go through life learning to better present thoughts, opinions, and facts, we are also learning how to better interpret those same items. In this information age, we are becoming able to more quickly comprehend information as well as with more accuracy. Good thing too, because these days we're dealing with loads of information on a daily basis.
So, what are you waiting for? Go communicate! By itself, communication is not good nor bad, it is only the vehicle with which information is transferred. But, if you can better transfer that information, I can almost guarantee you'll see some positive results, even if that's just time saved from not having to dance around a subject. I'm just thankful we're able to connect with each other on so many levels.
Go be epic and excellent!
-Megan
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